Musician related jokes !

[mesaboogieman]

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?











Drool.

[MM_Charlie]

An accordian player drives over to his friend's house in a bad neighborhood. He's in the house for a while, then asks his friend if he want's to jam a little. The friend says: "Did you bring your accordian?"

The accordian player says "Yes, it's out in the car"

"You didn't leave it visible, did you?"

"Yes, I left it on the back seat"

"Oh no, we better get out there quick"

Sure enough, they get outside by the car, there's shattered glass everwhere, and now there's another accordian on the back seat.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. my stomach hurts from laughing so much

[Bass_Beast]

I love musician jokes!
especially when your in like Math class or something, and someone tells one and there's like two people laughing, and everyone is like "-_-...i'll kill you"
it's great
i like the one about c f and something walking into a bar and being rejected for being minors, so corny but funny

[marduke]

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?

Put some sheet music in front of him....

haha just had to laugh at that one!!

[paranoid70]

What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?


The pizza can feed a family of four.

[Kevan]

How do you know when a drummer's at your door?


The knocking keeps getting faster.

Yeah, and he doesn't know when to come in!


R

....or....
You hear the words, "PIZZA DELIVERY!"


- How do you know when the stage is level?
- Drool is coming out of BOTH sides of the drummer's mouth.

- How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- 43. One to actually do it, and 42 to stand around and talk about how Neil Peart could have done it better.

(Jon Finn is the master of drummer jokes. Taught me well he has.)

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A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He strolls up to the bar and says, "I'll bet you $50 that this octopus can play any instrument in the bar."
The bartender is intrigued and agrees to the bet. He says, "There's a piano over there. Let's see it."
The guy sets the octopus on the bench and steps back. Chopin, Mozart, and Beethoven come blazing out of the piano as the octopus plays it with precision and ease.

The bartender and patrons are amazed! More bets take place. "$100 says he can't play this...", and hands the guy a trombone. Everything from big band tunes to smooth jazz come from the trombone as the octopus again plays the instrument with ease.

Another $100 bet, this time with a guitar. The octopus begins to drop some Django, Jimi, Vai, Luke (heh heh). The bar is completely silent as the octopus puts on a clinic that would make JP raise an eyebrow.

The bartender goes for one last shot. He says, "$500 says he can't play this...." and pulls out a set of bag pipes. The guy hands them to the octopus and waits. The octopus seems to be having trouble with the bagpipes, wiggling and wrapping it's tentacles around it in various ways.
The guy asks the octopus, "What's the problem? Can't you play it?"
The octopus says, "Play it? I'm trying to f**k it!"