Musician related jokes !

[MM_Charlie]

I'll start..

How many guitarists does it take to change a lighbulb ?

Ten, one to change the lightbulb while the other nine talk about how they can do it better.

anyone got some more ???

[RitchieDarling]

What's brown and sits on a piano?
















Beethoven's First Movement

[dmullen]

WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Guitars don't get pregnant.
You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
Guitars don't have parents.
Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
You can share your Guitar with your friends.
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
Guitars don't get headaches.
Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
Guitars don't care if you're late.
You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

and last, but not least:

If you decide to part with an old Guitar, you don't have to give up half of everything you own.

[MrMusashi]

a lil c&p from me: (still a good joke though )

An anthropologist went to Papua New Guinea and landed at a remote airport in the jungle.
From a distance, he could hear drums beating in the mountains.

An officer told him as he went through the security check, "Drums beating, good. Drums stop, bad."

He thought this was interesting, but wanted to get to his destination after the long and exhausting flight, and went to get his suitcases and got a cab to take him to the village where he was supposed to go for his studies.

Once in the cab, he could still hear the drums beating and the driver told him, "Drums beating, good. Drums stop, bad."

He was even more intrigued, but the driver's grasp of English was far from good, so he decided to not continue the conversation.

He arrived safely to the village, put his things in a hut that had been prepared for him, then went to talk to the village wise man, and the drumming was still going on.
The first thing the wise man said was "Drums beating, good. Drums stop, bad."

The anthropologist was bursting with curiosity and said "Everyone has told me that same thing since I came here. What happens when the drums stop?"
The wise man answered, "When drums stop, bass solo."

MrM

[fivestring99]

How do you know when a drummer's at your door?













The knocking keeps getting faster.

[fivestring99]

A young boy went to his mother and said, "Momma, I want to be a musician when I grow up."

His mother replied, "Son, make up your mind. You can't do both."

[Colin]

what do bass players use for contraception? their personalities...

[RitchieDarling]

How do you know when a drummer's at your door?

The knocking keeps getting faster.

Yeah, and he doesn't know when to come in!


R

[Colin]

what's the difference between a drummer and kaleidescope? the kaleidescope has more interesting patterns...

[Adwex]

How do you know when a drummer's at your door?


The knocking keeps getting faster.

or......

How do you know it's a drummer at the door?




He can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in.

*edit* D'OH. I should read all previous posts before posting.

[Adwex]

"C", "E flat", and "G" walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors".

[Adwex]

An accordian player drives over to his friend's house in a bad neighborhood. He's in the house for a while, then asks his friend if he want's to jam a little. The friend says: "Did you bring your accordian?"

The accordian player says "Yes, it's out in the car"

"You didn't leave it visible, did you?"

"Yes, I left it on the back seat"

"Oh no, we better get out there quick"

Sure enough, they get outside by the car, there's shattered glass everwhere, and now there's another accordian on the back seat.

[Adwex]

I locked the keys in my car once, it took almost 2 hours to get the drummer out.

[Ytsejammer]

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?

Put some sheet music in front of him....

[MrMusashi]

now this one is so bad its borderline good

fastest chord ever??


f16

MrM