O/T Unsolicited marriage advice!

**Psycho Ward** · 06-22-2007, 07:42 AM

I’ve been married for 25 years to a wonderful woman and with wedding season in full bloom I thought I’d share this. I found this on the web the other day and thought it might be helpful…

Rules for men.

1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

**Moondog** · 06-22-2007, 08:00 AM

Someone make sure Brian reads this thread . . it's "spot-on"

**WillPlay4Food** · 06-22-2007, 08:14 AM

Hah! I should print this out for the groom at tomorrow's wedding.

**adouglas** · 06-22-2007, 08:32 AM

18: The Male is always guilty of indiscretion, even if he has no idea what he might possibly have done wrong.
19: The Male is not permitted to win arguments. Therefore immediate surrender is the only option, even when the Male has no clue what the argument is about in the first place (this is the true secret to maintaining a long marriage...21 years here and still stumbling along).
20: The Female will remember events (real or imagined), misunderstandings, indiscretions (real or imagined) long after the Male has completely forgotten them, and will use this information to fuel disputes or even begin new disputes, sometimes years after the event in question. Since the Male has completely forgotten said event, no cogent response is possible. See rules 18 and 19 for further information.
21: Males are idiots who think that they are smart.

**EBMM7181** · 06-22-2007, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by Psycho Ward

I’ve been married for 25 years to a wonderful woman and with wedding season in full bloom I thought I’d share this. I found this on the web the other day and thought it might be helpful…

Rules for men.

1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

It's True

**syciprider** · 06-22-2007, 09:57 AM

Happiness is not marrying a Westernized woman.

Been with the same lady since 1985 and none of those rules apply to me

**Beth** · 06-22-2007, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by adouglas

21: Males are idiots who think that they are smart.

Smart man...

Chuck how come you claim to know the rules??? That's it, I'm changing them!

Rule #1 Thou shalt love, honor, trust and worship thy Female.
Rule #2 Thou shalt be lovable, honorable, trustworthy and worshippable for thy Female.
Rule #3 Thou shalt shower thy Female with diamonds, perfume and leather goods -- especially when she has PMS!!!

And you have to guess the rest of the rules by extra-sensory perception

**T-bone** · 06-22-2007, 11:12 AM

28 years with my wife and found it comes down to two words:

"Yes dear."

tbone

**ARES** · 06-22-2007, 11:20 AM

My woman is tough as nails, but I would not tolerate that form of dictatorship from her any more than she would from me.

No we're not married. Yet. Lived together for about a year now though.

I've never understood situations where one partner sets all the rules, and the other one rolls over and takes it. Both sides are equally bad to me.

**syciprider** · 06-22-2007, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by Beth

Smart man...

Chuck how come you claim to know the rules??? That's it, I'm changing them!

Rule #1 Thou shalt love, honor, trust and worship thy Female.
Rule #2 Thou shalt be lovable, honorable, trustworthy and worshippable for thy Female.
Rule #3 Thou shalt shower thy Female with diamonds, perfume and leather goods -- especially when she has PMS!!!

And you have to guess the rest of the rules by extra-sensory perception

These are the rules I follow! But she's SOL on the worshippable part.

**RitchieDarling** · 06-22-2007, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by ARES

My woman is tough as nails, but I would not tolerate that form of dictatorship from her any more than she would from me.

Although I am sure these "rules" are meant to be humorous, I must agree with Ares' statement.

I'm a bit weary of the "men are stupid, women are smart and should rule the world" type of humor.

Recommended reading: Pirates! Man Your Women! » Kim du Toit - The Pussification of the Western Male

Enjoy!

Ritchie

**n!k** · 06-22-2007, 12:09 PM

That pussification article was really dumb. I'd question recommending that blockhead to anyone.

**RitchieDarling** · 06-22-2007, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by n!k

That pussification article was really dumb. I'd question recommending that blockhead to anyone.

Apparently everyone is missing the humor here.

R

**adouglas** · 06-22-2007, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by RitchieDarling

Apparently everyone is missing the humor here.

R

+1.

Between us, Chuck and I have nearly 50 years of successful marriage experience under our belts. We know what the score is from first-hand knowledge.

So, n!k, how long have you been married? Just curious.