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My Wedding Gig Horror Story

Sherry SK8

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2006
Messages
48
Location
Victoria Canada
I heard the wizzing sound and looked up to see one of the beautifully dressed bride's friends crouching beside the front tire of her car . . "Hmmm this should be a rowdy crowd-I won't get home until after 2."

First Set; Drunken guests were having a blast reeling around on the dance floor with cutesy 6 year old flower girl. Parents decide to take cutesy girl home before she get's taken out in the frenzy.

Second set: Increasing drunken frenzy and with video cameras rolling, a shocked shriek from dance floor by the bride. 'The" wild party guy friend has ripped off his pants while we are playing a Rolling Stones cover. He has pink spandex tights with all kind of funky designs on them. He get's the laugh, and being that he's completely wasted, soaks up the attention.

We launch into our second Stones' cover "Satisfaction" so of course, the guy leaps on stage and although we rarely alow this, it's Tom's (our band leader's) friend's wedding, so he's going with things a lot more. So there's this guy staggering around the stage trying to do Mick and I'm just playing my drums and not even smiling because I'm just picturing him either careening into my drums and it looking more like the end of a Who concert. Already he'd done the microphone trick where he let out the chord and whipped it in circles so that the Mic only just missed my head - the audience even gasped at that. I could see him only just staying in the zone in front but ever so close to taking out Tom's set-up of guitar pedals and keyboard.

Now he was down on the floor in front of my drums winding and weaving like Mick when he does those snake moves but with funky pink spandex pants. I'm still just minding the equipment and not wanting to encourage him too much when Tom suddenly bursts out into peels of laughter "Look!!!" he shouts.

I'm like what? You think this is that funny? Yeah whatever, the drunk guy is shouting about the 'man on the radio.' But I looked and . . .

The guy's pants had split right out the back and he was obviously not wearing underwear. Now I'm a female drummer and I'm there because I'm the best player for our gig, but this was when I became aware that being female was going to make this twice as funny. So there was not just his butt hanging out the back but the whole package - I mean just hanging out there!! At that I go from the humorless drummer just going along with the gag and more worried about personal and equipment safety, to laughing uproaressly. Of course, the more we react, the more he just goes and goes with his fishing tackle just hangin' out the back of the pink pants.

The bride and her brides maids and her friends are on the dance floor all in a group and the cameras are rolling, but from his position on the floor and angle to them, they can't see what we're seeing.

Tom and I are now just losing it and feeding off each other's laughing until we're both falling into tears. I'm looking to the side to get away then looking back because there's nowhere else to look but in front - then we start losing the beat (to Satisfaction no less - I mean we're professional players but both of us are losing it). On the floor beside my kit I have this silly reggae hat with fake dreds sewn in as a prop, so I try to throw it to him to cover up with. At this he figures the girl on the drums is paying attention, so he puts on the reggae hat, turns around and starts playing to me with his snake like Mick bending and gyrating. Only then does the Bride and her friends get a full view of what we're actually laughing about. . . the sudden falling of the face on the Bride and then her friends as they see-I mean:

The "look" on her face and the whole row of her friends plus the offended horror on the faces of the few remaining seated relatives;Priceless! All of it, caught on tape!!!

Yup, there's always that one embarassing guest.

But I don't need to see the video, I have the mental imprint of the reggae-dred hat, pink pants and the gaping view of his two big cahoonies and noodle just hangin' out there . . . ewwwwwww!!!
 
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That's a great gig story. :)

How you mention being worried that the guy would break your drums reminds me of myself. I'm super anal about my guitar, something my roommate doesn't understand (which freaks me out even more). When he walks in with a bottle of beer, swaying it over my guitar in the stand, and I tell him to back up he just looks at me like: :confused: , while uttering words to the like of 'whatever...'

Oh well. It's about having a certain appreciation for instruments, I guess.
 
Sherry,


Thanks for the laugh, that's a classic tale of the drunken mayhem that can occur at any gig, but especially weddings. Here's another one for you.

One time I was jamming with a friend's band at a engagement party gig and one of the groomsmen was really getting into the music we were playing. Since it was an engagement party we were allowed to spice up the set list with some heavier and non cliche' material. Everyone was friends and it was going to be a great time. When we broke into some Pearl Jam (towards the end of the night ; everyone was really into this style of music so....) this individual started singing with the singer. He lets out his best "I coulda been a rock star" scream and at the same time, unintentionally evacuated his bowels into his slacks. The singer, bassist, and myself were the only ones to immediately realize what just materialized. The drummer didn't notice until he saw my reaction (stifled laughter and disgust) combined with the look of horror on this guy's face.

I know it's wrong to laugh at someone's misfortune but one of the funniest things I have ever seen was this guy trying to manoeuver his was across the dance floor to the men's room before the entire room caught wind of what happened. All of his friends were trying to high five him for his singing and enthusiam and he had this mortified & helpless look on his face while trying to make his escape. Reminded me of Philip Seymour Hoffman's "I just sharted" line from Along Came Polly.

I think he would have totally gotten away with it too, but several of his buddies followed him into the restroom where he disposed of his underwear. You could hear the laughter from the other room. He came back to the party much later with a defeated look on his face and apologies for everyone, including the band.

Vegas Pug
 
OMG!!!

Too funny!!!

i thought my old storys of photographing weddings were funny, not even close to yours!!

thanks for sharing!!!
 
It's a good thing the Dude doesn't swing by the guitar section much. Who knows what pic's he'd post for this thread? ;)
 
ps: My "tackle" is front loaded. I'm still trying to figure out how this guy's was popping out the back like that.
 
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Steve Dude Barr said:
ps: My "tackle" is front loaded. I'm still trying to figure out how this guy's was popping out the back like that.

Are we going to get into this kind of detail? The pink spandex were so tight that they were still in tact at the front, but the back had split all the way so that the fishing tackle was all just hanging there in full view and the sheer size I'm telling you!!!:eek:
 
PugNinjas said:
Sherry,


He lets out his best "I coulda been a rock star" scream and at the same time, unintentionally evacuated his bowels into his slacks.
I know it's wrong to laugh at someone's misfortune but ...

But it's so funny!!!!!:D

BTW I should hope it was "unintentional"

'something about weddings brings the best out of people.
 
ha,ha,ha,ha....I know a guy named Spinny who might be doing that same routine at a weddig this weekend!! ha,hah,ah,ah,ah,a
NALDO!
 
CodeMonkey said:
Should I be worried the members of my band do this sort of thing at rehearsal?!



:D :D :D Which one? The satifaction spandex splits with the grotesquely large exposed fishing tackle or the rocker scream accompanied by self defecation?
 
Sherry SK8 said:
:D :D :D Which one? The satifaction spandex splits with the grotesquely large exposed fishing tackle or the rocker scream accompanied by self defecation?

I'd don rubber boots and gloves, to be prepared in either case...:eek:
 
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