• Security notice: Ernie Ball staff will never send you a direct message about a prize or giveaway, and will never ask you to click a link to "claim" anything.
    If you receive a message like that - even from an account whose name looks official - do not click the link. Please report it using the Report link on the message so the moderators can act. A scam campaign impersonating admin accounts was blocked on 29 July 2026; those accounts are banned and their messages have been deleted.

OT: Kids Today

This is actually a simple one according to the” Psycho’s Guide to Better Parenting”, my new book.

Chapter 3: “Store Tantrums”

It’s important to remember the “Law of NO!” discussed in chapter one. When child subject refuses to abide by parental instruction, implement the first stage of the “Law of No”, a strong, audible utterance of the word “NO”. (A properly conditioned child should mildly shutter at this point).

If level one of “NO” doesn’t receive the desired corrective action on the part of the child subject, advance the level two. Level two of the “Law of NO” requires the parent to take subject by the arms and once again state the word “NO” with a 15db increase in volume directly in the face of child. (Bulging veins in the forehead, excessive spittle and animal growling add an effective effect.)

In the case of level two failure, advance quickly to the third stage of the “Law of NO”, a well targeted, open handed slap to the subjects’ cheek. Never be abusive, but direct and firm. A properly articulated facial slap should cause minor reddening of the skin and short term ringing in the ears. (If these measures have little or no effect, look in the Troubleshooting Guide at the end of the book for further instruction)

Basic outline of Chapter Three: no, NO, SLAP! (Repeat) no, No, SLAP!!!


Psycho
 
Psycho Ward said:
This is actually a simple one according to the” Psycho’s Guide to Better Parenting”, my new book.

Chapter 3: “Store Tantrums”

It’s important to remember the “Law of NO!” discussed in chapter one. When child subject refuses to abide by parental instruction, implement the first stage of the “Law of No”, a strong, audible utterance of the word “NO”. (A properly conditioned child should mildly shutter at this point).

If level one of “NO” doesn’t receive the desired corrective action on the part of the child subject, advance the level two. Level two of the “Law of NO” requires the parent to take subject by the arms and once again state the word “NO” with a 15db increase in volume directly in the face of child. (Bulging veins in the forehead, excessive spittle and animal growling add an effective effect.)

In the case of level two failure, advance quickly to the third stage of the “Law of NO”, a well targeted, open handed slap to the subjects’ cheek. Never be abusive, but direct and firm. A properly articulated facial slap should cause minor reddening of the skin and short term ringing in the ears. (If these measures have little or no effect, look in the Troubleshooting Guide at the end of the book for further instruction)

Basic outline of Chapter Three: no, NO, SLAP! (Repeat) no, No, SLAP!!!


Psycho


I do hope that you are joking!

You should not slap your children - use a pick or your fingers for better tone!

Personally I just lock them into the freezer cabinets along with the frozen fries for 10 minutes. Normally cools them down.
 
Back
Top