OT: The phone call I never expected

[TSanders]

Long story short, my lead singer is leaving my band. As a result we are all going to part ways musically. Ive been on board with them for two years. Three of the best guys Ive ever met in my life, and honestly, it bums me out that things are turning out this way. We are going to play out the rest of our booked gigs, the last one being mid-January.

Guys, Ill be honest. Im not sure if Im going to continue to play for a living anymore after the split. To be honest, Im really questioning wether or not Ill play at all. I dont know if I have the energy, to start over with another band. We had a natural chemistry, and good material. There were several people in good places, that have shown an interest, and we really had a chance to "make it".


The much lower than usual,
Travis

 

[shamus63]

Hey Travis ~ Don't let this throw you! Just look at it as a great gig with friends, and look forward to the next one...it's really that simple!

Do like Chuck, and use the time to woodshed new material (or whatever).

You'll be fine.

 

[Bill]

Sorry to hear about this. Hang in there! One of my bands recently decided to hang it up, although we don't know if it will be forever. The lead guy just mysteriously decided to stop gigging; I think he had too many other commitments with his job, family life, other interests, etc.

A few years ago, I went through the same thing as my bandmate. I got a full time "day job," bought a house, and didn't have time to play music full time. (Plus, I needed a steady, guaranteed income with benefits.) I didn't play a gig for probably 8 months or so, and it honestly felt great. I was burnt out. But once I started getting back into it a little, I realized how much I had missed it.

I certainly understand how you're feeling! It's certainly nothing out of the ordinary. If you decide to put your music career on hold, my guess is that you'll dive right back into it after a period of time away from it, and probably with more energy. But even if you never play another gig, you've got to do what you think is best in your life.

Take care, and good luck!

 

[Randracula]

You're young, there will be plenty more opportunities coming your way.Trust me, every time I think it's over, something else comes along.Face it, you've got the disease and you can't help yourself

 

[MCBTunes]

another vote for stick with it. honetly, if you didnt love music to begin with you wouldnt have gotten as far as you have. You'll be glad you stuck with it when your looking back once you've made it on what you could have been doing if you stopped. I've stopped doing a lot of things I could have easy made it with... Kickboxing and snowboarding, deep regrets at this stage of my life.

Persistence is key

 

[bovinehost]

Long story short, my lead singer is leaving my band.

Travis, the guy is a SINGER.


Seriously. The singer quits and you guys pack it in?

Seriously. Get your head out of your @ss and realize what is going on.

Seriously.

Jack

 

[MCBTunes]

Travis, the guy is a SINGER.


Seriously. The singer quits and you guys pack it in?

Seriously. Get your head out of your @ss and realize what is going on.

Seriously.

Jack

Jack has a point.

 

[Big Poppa]

travis I agree with jack tough love baby....if you love music and are good you will evolve and continue to grow...if you are only as good as your lead singer then maybe you are right. I dont think so, however. The musical cup HAS to be half full or you dont stand a chance.

 

[barkatozz]

I just played my final gig w/ the band I was with for quite a long time. It was time for me to venture onto other projects.There are plenty of musicians out there to find chemistry with......just be patient & keep practicing.

 

[JB1]

Travis,

Think about the reason you started playing in the first place. Was it to play with that lead singer and nothing else? - I doubt it.

Keep going buddy and look out for the next gig.

I don't and never have played full time, in fact I play once a week with my band and we gig very rarely lately BUT we so enjoy what we do that until we are all in a position to practice more often, get 'fit' and gig more, we'll always meet once a week to get together & play which is what we all do it for.

Hang in there mate.

 

[Dr Stankface]

Travis. If you need me to come over for a few inspirational words or to knock some sense in you, you've got my cell phone number. Man, you're the only other EB player in this area and man do you play them well. You know i'm going through the trouble of actually finding a group to get into. Just woodshed like i'm doing. Brush up on your chops like crazy. Something will come around. That's what you've been telling me. Let me know when you're free man and we'll go get some of that BBQ.

Andrew

 

[shamus63]

See Travis ~ look at all this support for you. The music community is a WHOLE LOT BIGGER than you realize (hell, this is just EBF), and you have yet to really tap into it.

We've got your back!

BTW, who says the whole band has to break up? Like Jack says, it's the singer who's leaving...I'm sure he'll understand.

 

[Freddy-G.]

Whether or not you continue to play for a living is a tough decision. Its not always an easy way to put food on the table. I did it for 3 years and there were great times and some hard times too.

Don't let one guy (this singer) leaving your band influence your decision. Just toughen up a bit. You really can't count on anyone else but yourself in this matter.

I wish the best for you Travis. Whatever you decide to do, your forum brothers are behind you all the way.

Gary

 

[Silhouette]

Get a new singer. It'll be strange at first but will hopefully give you something else to play around with, a different style and musical direction. I think the latter part of this thread is more useful in my opinion. Keep going in the band if you have this chemistry and slowly diffuse a new guy (or girl) into the equation.

Nick

 

[shamus63]

Travis. If you need me to come over for a few inspirational words or to knock some sense in you, you've got my cell phone.

"Nail him up, I say! Nail some sense into him!"

 

[MingusBASS]

Hey T-

You can't let this put you down for the count. I've been in a very similar situation- When I was 19 I was in a band that was in talks with labels, drawing tons of people and making good money at our shows. We were months away from being signed and our drummer up and quit. With all the little problems we had in the band, everything just snapped and we were done!

I was devastated, but I made myself a promise. I would never let myself feel like that again. I decided I needed a change, I switched majors from Psyschology to Music Performance and moved 12 hours away from home to go to school up here.
I've spent the last 5 years studying music very intensely(started playing bass 13 years ago) and I can't imagine moving on without music.

For good or bad, music is such a huge part of me that I have to play, I have to make it. I'm a musician, I was put on this earth to do this. Is it easy? Heck no, and I'm still working on being a full time pro musician, but things are getting there. I would hate to see you walk away from something that you love. Use this down time to make yourself a better player. We all have flaws in our playing ,so there's always something to work on.

Everyone goes through this, you aren't alone and we are here to support you.

Andrew

 

[bovinehost]

We all have flaws in our playing

Wthout flaws, I'd just be standing there, looking around, crickets chirping.

 

[Psycho Ward]

Travis I DO know how you feel, this is my first Saturday night without my bass gig, and I’m bummed. But music is a serious addiction and there is no cure, it’s in your blood. Take some time, collect your thoughts and maybe heed some of the excellent advice already posted here. I often find the time between gigs helps me refresh my attitude, work on my chops and come back to the music better than I left it.

Don’t do anything rash like selling your gear, think positive and come here for the fellowship, we’re here for you.

Go do something fun and get your mind off this for a while.

Chuck

 

[Mobay45]

Travis, I know exactly how you feel. Change is tough and you might end up with a career that doesn't include performing on bass.

That said, I agree with Chuck completely. Don't sell anything. Keep it all. You won't quit playing altogether forever. Even if you stop for now, you will find that there is an overwhelming desire inside that will nag you more than any wife ever could that will drive you back to playing bass.

Once a bassist, always a bassist.

 

[maddog]

Here are a few points I'd thought I'd offer:

Do it because you enjoy it.

Take a break if need be.

Get back up on the horse, sometimes sooner than you're ready.

Not much else to add since I think everybody has given the best advice. Ain't this forum great!