I am obsessed with getting a Bongo

[Powman]

Screw what the missus will think, buy a damn Bongo and be done with it!

She probably won't notice anyway.

I know it's not the same, but my own mother hasn't noticed my rather intrusive septum piercing, or a big bar going through my ear. The Bongo shall go unnoticed...maybe you should get a Stealth just to be sure though.

Your mother loves you and forgives you 1,000,000 times more than a wife ever would. The strongest bond in the world is that between a mother a child. So I am sorry mate, but there is no comparison between pissing off your mother and pissing off your wife.

I think I will take my mum out for lunch now, she is an angel.

 

[Powman]

I'm sorry Duarte, but that's just wrong.

I've been married for 23 years and trust me... if you respect your spouse at all you just can't blow her off like that. The consequences are lasting and corrosive.

The smartest thing my wife and I ever did was to set up our marriage ahead of time as a three-way arrangement. I have my own account, she has her own account, and there's a joint "house" account for shared expenses that pays for most stuff. The agreement is that we can spend our own money however we like and the other person has no right to disapprove.

So I don't have to ask permission to buy a bass. And we never, ever fight about money because we don't have to.

Since it's evidently too late for that in Powman's case, I suggest being completely up front and honest with her about your desire (don't say "need"). Come up with ways to address her concerns while still getting what you want. Some ideas:

- Start saving up for it out of your allowance (assuming you have one) and talk about how things are proceeding. This demonstrates responsibility.

- Give up something that she knows you're attached to in order to help fund the purchase. This demonstrates commitment.

- Consider asking her, and everyone else who gives you holiday and birthday gifts, to join forces as well as gift-giving events to help come up with money towards the bass (I've done this... got both families and her to just give me money for something I wanted, and I combined Christmas, birthday and anniversary gifts into one shot). This demonstrates creativity.

- Point out that it takes months to have one built, so you only need to come up with part of the money up front.

Instant gratification is vastly overrated. Be patient and the reward will be all the sweeter.

Very very wise advice. Thank you sir!

I am going to "ask" for Long and McQuade gift cards for Christmas. I will also explain that I do want a second bass, but I will NOT put it on my credit card or anything (thats another thing that makes her mad...credit card purchases and I agree with that one). I will also set up a second savings account for this bass. Then the gift cards and this account will be used to pay for it.

I know I have the money from the stocks, but I think she will want me to suffer a little for this thing.

Lastly, I do want to order exactly what I want in terms of colour and features. So I don't want to just buy whatever is in the store. This will be a special bass.

 

[MK Bass Weed]

Hmmm, I wouldn't overthing this really

I got a Bongo

I bought My wife a diamond ring.

Worth it.

This works.

YMMV

 

[shakinbacon]

good luck

powman you seem to be on the right track imho

I've only been married 12 years (with the same woman for 20) but I can tell you that you can always buy an instrument that you can afford but you cannot always have the wife you want... if you mess up the relationship.

Focus on the relationship, there will always be time for the bass.

I understand the difficulty of telling the missus of the prices of these instruments but consider this

This is likely a hobby/obsession for you. It is cost effective to buy what will make you happy in the long run even if you could buy 10-20 SX basses (that you wouldn't be 10-20 times happier with).

I've told my wife how much the instruments cost but I've taken a different approach - I ask for her help in not buying stuff I won't use. I actually ask for her opinion and help before I buy something. She kinda "regulates" me and it works for me. Yes its my own money and I don't "need" permission but I do need a reality check to make sure I don't end up with stuff I don't need and/or use.

I have a rather nice Gibson electric guitar that I don't use (purchased without the method described above) and it kills me to have it - she won't let me sell it because she loves the way it looks (if anyone wants to trade for a musicman 5 string fretless lemme know )

 

[shakinbacon]

there will be no help from me.

easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Me thinks a certain golfer is regretting this approach right about now

 

[RobertB]

And what are the terms of this contract?? What does she get in return?

that you will not buy another bass for x amount of time, primarily ... along with whatever else you wanna throw in that you think will seal the deal, since you know your wife better than anyone here does. this is of course after you've explained the very practical reasoning behind needing the distinct features and characteristics that each of these 2 basses brings to your repertoire, in such a way as to make it seem more logical to own both than to not (in other words, jedi mind tricks).

i'd be leery of any arrangement in which her partial or total ownership is expressed or implied. if she owns your Balls, she might not let you leave the house with 'em.

 

[Big Poppa]

wow is this a study in strangeness between the sexes? Wow again.

Powman I think that you shouldnt sell your company stock to buy a bass....that is your nest egg...if anything take some of that stock and invest n other safe stock and diversify....I am not a financial advisor and do whatever you do at your own risk.

Be honest in your desire for another bass and its cost. Take your time and show her that it isnt a passing fancy and something that will make you happy. THat is the best start.

 

[Busterkilrain]

When you are done convincing your wife have her call my Mrs and put in a good word for me!
Take Care,
Brent

 

[Duarte]

Your mother loves you and forgives you 1,000,000 times more than a wife ever would. The strongest bond in the world is that between a mother a child. So I am sorry mate, but there is no comparison between pissing off your mother and pissing off your wife.

Hmm, maybe my advice was poor. Definitely listen to these guys who know what they're talking about. I'm not planning on marrying any time soon

But I stand by my other comment.

The question is, will she notice a rosewood Stealth? It's probably safer to go for the ebony variant.

 

[TheAntMan]

Be honest in your desire for another bass and its cost. Take your time and show her that it isnt a passing fancy and something that will make you happy. THat is the best start.

Listen to the words of Mr. Douglas. He is wise.

Big Poppa + adouglas = wise advise!

As much as I love my instruments, my wife comes first.

I'm rooting for you getting a Bongo - Good luck

--Ant

 

[MrMusashi]

hehe.. i tried to sneak in 2 basses that looked the same, but one of them was fretless..

one day she looks at the bass and starts stroking the neck.. and then goes.. hey, no metal things on this one?? do you have 2 of it???

so i was busted and had to watch her go out the door on a shopping spree with my mastercard..

morale of the story is: be sure she doesnt check your forum posts in addition to being smart

MrM

 

[keko]

Me and my wife, well we have a very liberal relationship.

So, I buy a new bass, place it near old one and put old bass in to the free adds paper for sale!

When old bass is sold out, I just keep on playing new one, and one day my wife said: -Oh, I'm pretty sure that your bass was black?
Than I said something about hers new cloths like: -Oh I thought your dress is longer, but now I've noticed your beautiful knees!

Imagine what happend in the evening after I paid perfect dinner!

So, give your wife a few nice words and some love, it worth, trust me!

 

[bovinehost]

The Camp Bovine Method:

1. Build up a reasonable stash of instruments, maybe ten or so.

2. Spend years trading and buying and selling, so that she becomes used to boxes coming and going.

3. Never leave all of them out at one time.

4. After a while, she will lose track of what you have and stop worrying about it.

 

[rizzo9247]

The rule of the house by me is one in and one out, and I've been through 19 so far. I currently own 3 basses, one guitar. A fretless SX and SX strat, a certain bass for some maiden covers the band performs (3-4 songs a night), and my Beloved Stingray. The most I've ever told the other half a bass cost was $900.

I know what you mean about sneaking in a Bongo, as I've been trying to cook up a plan myself in the near future. I've used this justification for the Stingray, "X amount of gigs will pay for it." In the end you have to buy something for her.

I wish you much luck in this endeavor.

 

[dave64o]

The Camp Bovine Method:

1. Build up a reasonable stash of instruments, maybe ten or so.

2. Spend years trading and buying and selling, so that she becomes used to boxes coming and going.

3. Never leave all of them out at one time.

4. After a while, she will lose track of what you have and stop worrying about it.

I'll second that. I did that for a few years while and it was pretty effective until I arrived at a small handful of basses that worked for me. I've now been "inactive" for about a year and a half and have been pretty happy with what I have. The key, if it really needs to be pointed out, is step #3!

However, even though I really like what I have now, I find myself occasionally thinking about starting another round of buying and selling just to see what I end up with in another couple of years.

 

[ivbenaplayin]

big poppa + adouglas = wise advise!

As much as i love my instruments, my wife comes first.

I'm rooting for you getting a bongo - good luck

--ant

+10000000000000.....

 

[sitonmybass]

My only job is as a full-time player and I am fortunate enough to have the support, encouragement and blessings from my wife and parents. They understand that not only is my equipment the "tools of my trade" but that I have a passion for them that equals my passion for music.
My wife bought me a bass as a wedding present and she also bought me basses as first and second anniversary presents. My parents bought me an acoustic/electric bass as a birthday present that I needed for an "unplugged" gig. This Christmas both my wife and parents are jointly paying for a bass for me.
That being said, I understand that everyone's situation is different. Making your loved ones feel like they're a part of your passion and of your decision making process brings you closer together and will hopefully help them to understand it better. And what wonderful gifts these make, they will truly feel your appreciation and gratitude towards their generosity and you will always think of them when you play their gift(s). Showing that you are financially responsible by either asking for them as gifts or for asking for financial help in purchasing one allows them to gain respect towards you in regards to financial priorities.
I must also add that I have sold basses to get new ones, demonstrating a willingness to sacrifice; neither my parents nor my wife and I are rich!
My wife wants me to include that she feels a bond between us that is created when I am playing a bass that she either bought or helped to buy whether she's in attendance or not. If I take one of these basses to a gig that she cannot attend, it's as if she's there with me.
Being honest is by far the best advice, it has been hugely instrumental (double meaning intended) in bringing about MY current situation.

 

[bbernard]

BP is a wise man. If you are rolling in cash then that is one thing. If you need to sell stock from your employee purchase plan, that is another (don't forget the tax bite from this sale). I love musical instruments and I have lusted after many. Been married for a long time and I always run a sizable purchase past my wife (she does the same). Was a necessity in the early years when things were lean. Reasonable financial security feels better than a pile of consumer goods. Use layaway rather than a credit card. Maybe save gig money to pay for the bass?

Sorry for the buzz kill.

 

[Powman]

When you are done convincing your wife have her call my Mrs and put in a good word for me!
Take Care,
Brent

I will, I will. She is in Florida right now for a conference, so it is giving me time to think, plan. strategize, consider etc.

I have been silently rehearsing several speeches...

 

[fidooda]

have you considered a used bongo? that might ease up the quest for $$$ (sorry in advance if this was mentioned before, as i read the thread rather quickly).

Anyway, bongo + sterling, i like the sound of that combo.

good luck in you journey