Favourite Musician jokes

[puppyonacid]

I have 3. I'd like to hear some more though:


How do you know if a drummer is at your door?
The knocking speeds up!

How do you know if your drummer wants to leave the band?
He turns up at rehersals and proclaims "Hey lads, I've written a song!"

And my all time favey!:
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10. 1 to do it and 9 others to stand around saying "I can do that!"

 

[savannah_sean]

I have 3. I'd like to hear some more though:


How do you know if a drummer is at your door?
The knocking speeds up!

How do you know if your drummer wants to leave the band?
He turns up at rehersals and proclaims "Hey lads, I've written a song!"

And my all time favey!:
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10. 1 to do it and 9 others to stand around saying "I can do that!"

From the Steve Morse website (and many other places, to be sure)

Q. How do you get a guitar player to slow down?

A. Put sheet music in from of him.

 

[edensdad]

What do you call a guitar player without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.

What's the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
Depends on how far you throw it.

What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

 

[Tim O'Sullivan]

Whats got three legs and a c**t ?

A drumstool!

 

[tristan]

what are le last words of a drummer in a band?

" let's try one of my compositions..."

 

[tristan]

never mind puppyonacid, I didn't read that you post the same

 

[Lucious]

What do you throw a drowning guitar player??

His amp! haha

Lucious

 

[savannah_sean]

some good ones here:

http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html

 

[Bungo]

A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a holiday.

As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "Drumming must carry on - very bad when the drumming stops."

At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Drumming must go on - Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.

After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!"

"When drums stop - Bass solo"

 

[NickDuBaldo]

Did you hear about the bass player that threw the drummer out of the band?
Seems the drummer de-tuned one of the strings, and wouldn't tell him which one.

 

[Bowks]

What's the difference between an onion and a banjo?

Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo.

 

[Ali]

What do you call someone that hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

 

[DrKev]

Dilemma time...

You are driving down a narrow country road. On a tight narrow bend there is a drummer and a singing toad. You have to swerve to avoid one but will have to hit the other. Which one do you choose to save?

Answer: Hit the drummer. The toad might be on his way to a gig.


Q: What do you get if you cross a drummer with a roadie?
A: A really stupid roadie.

 

[Smellybum]

what's the difference between a rocktron chorus and a boss super chorus??


The super chorus wears a cape......


<<THROW CUPS OF URINE NOW>

 

[Psychicpet]

Q: What's the difference between a _______(drummer/guitarist/singer) and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of 4!!