Looking for a little criticism...

[Jimothy JP7]

There are tons of great players on here, so there's really no better place for me to set this up. I converted my myspace to a music myspace about a year ago so I could post some of my ideas and get some criticism and maybe meet some players to jam with, but nobody cares on myspace unless someone tells them they should, so I've gotten nowhere. Plus, all the recordings were done through a $20 mic about an inch from the speaker of my Randall, and tracked in Audacity with no polishing, and if anyone else here has used Audacity you'll know that tracking and mixing in it is like putting a Jigsaw together with fish. That being said, I'd like to see what the great players on here have to say, even if it's something as simple as, "That part hugs, you need to write something better, it's wack. Rethink your life." .

So: My Myspace.

The first song is called "Show Me Your Face", and I called it that because I had no idea what to call it, and I was listening to "T.O.A.B." by Sevendust, and thats one of the lyrics, so I just popped that on there. It's acoustic, tuned to CGCFAC, recorded through the aforementioned mic about 3 inches from the soundhole, and I threw in some Midi orchestration afterward. It's the newest thing I've done, and probably the best production wise, but there are flaws.

The second song is called "None More Black", and I'm sure everyone here know's what that's from. It's the heaviest one on there, 7 string standard. Audacity frustrated me on this one, and my computer as well. The lag really threw me off on the click, and I only wanted it complete so I could hear it without playing it, but I threw it up just for kicks.

The last one is called "Myrn". 6 string Drop B. Stupid name, yes, but I saw it on a license plate and said to myself "what the hell does that mean?", so it became this. This is my Mark Tremonti meets Marcel Coenen song, but of course they both slay me. I actually took my time on the drum track for this one, which is probably why it flows a little better.

No bass on any track, because my bass is a 4 string and I tend to play in the lower end of the spectrum. Also the drums were created with Hammerhead Rhythm Station, which is ridiculously lame, but it was all I could get for free. I recently obtained Drumkit from Hell, so that'll be on all the new stuff I do, as well as my Petrucci when that comes in.


All words are welcome, tear me to pieces if needed, thats why I'm here.

Thanks,
-Jim

 

[MusicManJP6]

Just took a listen to your stuff. Sounds good! Here are my thoughts:

"Show Me Your Face" - funny you should mention sevendust coz this song reminds me ALOT of 'Angel's Son'. This one is my favorite! The acoustic sounds really good. Did you double up the tracks for the stereo separation sound?

"None More Black" - heavy as hell! But, the master volume may be a little hot. It sounds like it is clipping when the drums are added. Awesome riff though! I was waiting for the soaring Zakk Wylde or Petrucci lead! I guess you are a rhythm man.

"Myrn" - Very cool. Good production like you said, but the cymbals and snare are a little loud. Overall very cool song.

You may try using an octave pedal w/ your 7string and see if you can mimic a bass and that will help even out the highs and mids some. Before I bought a bass, i used Guitar Rig and it had a decent octave pedal for simulating a bass. No replacement for a real bass, but better than nothing...

If you are like me, your next song will sound even better than these, and so on and so on...

I'll have to post some of the stuff I have been tinkering with... Most of it is pretty old, but still............

Keep up the good work! Let's hear some solos, too!

 

[MusicManJP6]

oh and drumkit from hell is OK, but I like EZdrummer made by ToonTrack much better! Drag and Drop your beats and loopable!

 

[Astrofreq]

Good stuff, Rocker!! I personally liked Myrn the best. I really like the melody of the octave guitar stuff. Your playing is great too.

My only thought is that I think these tunes would open up alot with vocals. To me, the melody and lyrics are 90% of the song. I don't know if there is any intention of adding vocals. If so, ignore this paragraph. If not, then this music probably won't appeal to me in the same way as most people here. Their opinion would be worth more than mine.

Keep it up though. You have a cool sound.

 

[JMB27]

nice work - will post comments later - am multi-tasking too much today .... just got passed the honey-do list and I may be in the dog-house soon

cheers

Joel
p.s. add request sent on myspace - look for the Corona cooler

 

[SteveB]

Show Me Your Face:
move the keyboard parts to a different octave.. you're getting some weird phase shifting going on between the guitar and keyboard parts due to overlapping notes in the same octave.


None More Black:
try a different drum kit.. esp. one with a better ride cymbal and punchier kick drum. Lots of false endings in there.. when the song finally ended, I wasn't expecting it!

Myrn:
Cool.. kinda King's X-ish in parts. I'd develop the drum part a little more but it was a fun jam.

The guitar playing is good on all the tracks!

 

[Johnny Guitar]

Myrn is a cool song. The riff near the end reminds me of "The Glass Prison" from Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence.

 

[Jimothy JP7]

Johnny- Glass prison???!!?? Thats my favorite DT song, I love you for that haha

Steve - Totally agreed. The midi was straight from Power Tab editor, and my acoustic might've been out of tune a little. IMO the drums blow in all the tracks, but I just wanted to give the idea. As soon as I have a better program I'll start taking more time with the drums, but the samples it provided were just lame.

And I love Kings X and Ty Tabor, so thats a complement and a half, even though everytime that ending kicks in I think of Solilocide by Lemur Voice. The new song I'm working on now is half Kings X half Dream Theater, so it's pretty funny theyve already been mentioned. I'm thinking Dogman meets 6 degrees.

Joel - You're added. Take your time getting back to me.

Radrock - Thanks a bunch man. I like to leave room in my writing for the vocals, just so I'm in that groove whenever I get a band together. I agree, the vocals, whatever they would be, would fill out the emptiness a bit.

Adam - It's funny you mention that song, it's basically the same tuning, except a half step higher, because I was playing Dark New Day's "Follow the Sun Down" when I wrote it haha. I was surprised myself at how the acoustic turned out, it was just mic to audacity, nothing fancy, but it really rang for a quick job.

Theres 2 guitar tracks on some parts, some parts I let the midi carry the melody. I separated the intro into 2 versions of the same arpeggio, kinda like Clint Lowery playing with himself [tee hee]

Yea I love the heaviness of None More Black, thats why I gave it such a metal name. I wrote a solo to it, but it was one of those things where instead of writing the solo for the song, I ended up having to rewrite the song a bit to fit it in, and I didn't want to wank, so I left it alone. In my real works, I'm not sure if I want a solo in every song, at least not until I'm good enough to write the perfect part, and this part just wasn't it. I love lead, and Petrucci was the main idea for the solo in Myrn, but I didnt want to repeat myself.

I'll bust out my Whammy pedal and put it on octave and see what I can do, good call man.

Definitely post your stuff, I want to hear.


Thanks to everybody for giving it a shot, your words are gospel.

-Jim

 

[banjoplayer]

Show Me Your Face has a nice mood. I don´t know the songs you and the guys here refer to, but this one I like very much.
Some vocals kinda "Creed" or something like this I hear in my ear when listening.

 

[Jimothy JP7]

Banjo - Yes, Tremonti is always in my fingers when I write something melodic, he really proved himself on the first Alter Bridge record. I'm not so sure about Stapp's voice, but if I could get Myles Kennedy to sing, I'd be in heaven haha. Thanks for giving it a listen.

 

[MusicManJP6]

Can't wait to hear the King's X and DT song. I love some Tabor and Petrucci!

 

[Astrofreq]

Tabor rules all.

 

[Jimothy JP7]

I used to have my rendition of "The River Dragon Has Come" by Nevermore up, 2 other songs I wrote that I took down recently to reevaluate, one kind of a mix of Lamb of God and Sevendust, the other a little Dream Theater-esque Panic Attack/The Mirror/The Death of Balance/ Domination kind of thing, and I had a xmas song up around the holidays, my metal 7 string version of The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy [I was in a TSO mood], and I made fun of Emo with a short little mockery thing, kinda funny, gotta love whining on top of staccato power chords and a Hi Hat/Snare/Kick 1-2-1-2 groove. If anybodys curious as too how much I butchered Nevermore [this was recorded about a year ago, I don't really have a problem playing it now, and I'm probably going to record Final Product sometime soon], or how dry my sense of humor is, I can email them or something, so PM if curious.

 

[MusicManJP6]

Tabor rules all.

You are exactly right my friend. He is solely responsible for my wanting to play lead guitar. I could hardly play lead, and preferred rhythm until I heard King's X for the first time. I couldn't get enough! Now I have all their albums..... They are great live too.

I'm working on uploading some of my songs to myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/copperstylemusic

I hate myspace but wanted a place to upload some songs...

 

[Jimothy JP7]

Adam, just took a listen to your stuff, very cool. It's like what David Gilmour would play if he was in a grunge band. Is that you singing as well?

 

[MusicManJP6]

Wish I could say it was me singing. It is actually my old singer who has a drug problem (among other things). He is an incredible singer. Every time I listen to old songs with him in them, I just want to smack the ever-living-$#@* out of him!!!

And actually (shhhhhhh!!) that is not my MM in the recordings. I have not recorded much in the last year since I got my JP. I usually end up starting a song, and then tiring out before getting a good enough start on it to finish later. It is very mentally demanding to record all guitar and bass tracks by yourself and keep the energy going. I've got others I want to put up, but myspace limits to 4 songs. I am a web designer so I might make my own page and start posting stuff...

Thanks for listening...

 

[Jimothy JP7]

No problem dude, good stuff. I agree, it's hard to create an entire song yourself without overanalyzing everything. I have a few songs that haven't gotten finished because of that.


Add myspace.com/bodog [i think thats it]. It allows you to upload 5 songs instead of just 4.