OT: Kicking out a band mate

[paranoid70]

I have been trying to start up a new band this year. I had been playing with a drummer over the fall, and then we added a bass player/singer who I had jammed with in a previous band. It was sounding OK as a trio, but a little hollow in some areas, especially during a solo or places where there should be some guitar embellishments, etc.... Plus it would be nice to have another lead guitar player (I am no Steve Morse that's for sure).

After a few weeks, I suggested a guy who I had jammed with once. He is a really great guy and has a really great attitude. He is also a decent singer, so that helps to have another guy sing lead and also backup. The problem is that he is not a very good guitar player and is just sounding out of place. Also, he just seems totally lost on songs that aren't simple 3 chord things. (Pinball Wizard is a mess). He plays zero leads too.

The three of us talked a bit and decided that we should just let him go and maybe find someone else. (After all, guitar players are the easiest to replace.)

So, I guess I need to be direct and tell him, but I have never done that before. Any tips? I want to be tactful as he is a great guy and we get along fine. I don't want to be a jerk. Do you guys think the direct method (ala 'ripping off a band-aid') is the best approach?

Thanks.

 

[YtseJam92]

Just tell them the truth but, with tact. And maybe massage their ego a small bit like: "Your a really good guitarist/singer but your just not suiting the sound we're looking for" or something. You'd be surprised how well he could take if you come across the right way.

When your telling him don't have a on. Be neutral.

 

[brasco68]

Just tell him its not a good fit...and it's nothing personal, but if others arent feeling it and it's affecting the chemisty of the band...then you would like to try a different direction.

It's all about tact...especially if you like the guy and want to still be friends.

 

[koogie2k]

Man...what to do? I will tell you briefly what has happened with two guys I had to fire.

1. Not good at all. He stole something from me and I was ready to literally kill him over it. I got my item back...through our drummer...he picked up his things and left. He was not man enough to meet me as he knew he was gone. So, I don't feel bad what so ever.

2. Very well. This is the approach I used and we are still great friends. So much so he comes out to shows. HE is a cool dude as you stated. Let him know that. Let him know that he is a decent player and to keep working at it. At the same time let him know that he does not fit in your band structure. It is not anything personal with him or any of the bandmates. Thank him for his time and for trying. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART - Do this one on one. Not with anyone else present especially other band members. Offer to meet him somewhere over a beer (only if 21 and over) and in a nice and relaxed environment. You will be paying as it is the right thing to do. He should come away with his head high still (telling him he is a decent player) and with you guys still be friends.

 

[leftyguitarblue]

I was in band that fired a guy over the phone and that guy still hates them to this day. Definitely do it it face to face out of respect to him.

Most important; Just be honest with him. Tell him that you appreciate his time, but that it is just not working out as you had hoped.

 

[luv]

i'm not in a band, but i manage people and a retail operation that staffs up to 15 employees during busy times. i've had to fire numerous people over the years. there is no easy way to do it, but honest communication and a sincere sensitivity to the situation is always best. if he's your friend, go have a beer or coffee with the guy and talk about it.

i would think that since he was the last one brought into the band, under the presumption that a particular need was trying to be filled, it would be easier for him to understand if/that he wasn't the right fit.

all you can do is cover yourself so that you feel you did it the right way. there is no way to control how he will react. if you treat him like a man...like you would want to be treated...at least you can feel better about it.

you'll feel alot better once it's done...and you'll know better what to look for when auditioning the next guitarist.

 

[Spudmurphy]

Face to face - initially ask him how he thinks the last couple of weeks have gone - he might open up and freely state his shortcomings.

 

[Sweat]

Sounds like your firing me

 

[colinboy]

What a time for this thread.im literally in the process of setting up a band and im a bit dodgy about the other guitar player in the band.
His chops arent too good and his vocals arent great either!

 

[DaPatrooch]

No, no, no. This is how you should really do it. So that you don't have to fire him, make HIM want to quit. Like have a few really awkward practices and play horribly, so maybe he'll think the band's not a good fit for him. Or pretend to get really drunk or drugged up for practice if he's not into that sort of thing.

I'm kidding, of course

 

[paranoid70]

Or pretend to get really drunk or drugged up for practice if he's not into that sort of thing.

Who's pretending?

 

[Wide'Iwas]

Sounds like your firing me

lol I was waiting for someone to say it!

 

[Headstock]

If it is the right individual - You might think about giving it more time.
Playing in a band is supposed to do wonders for training (never been in one myself)
6 months from now - he might have beat all the current issues.

 

[Astrofreq]

Firing people sucks. I've done it a few times. All were people I liked, but just didn't fit. OR, they were session players and we just didn't want to pay people anymore since they weren't bringing anyone to shows. The music business (the little I know about it) just blows. There are a bunch of bands I like and way more that I don't like, but I tip my hat to any of them that make it through the years of aggravation to get where they did.

The main thing I learned about bands is you really are only as strong as the weakest person in the band. NO band member is so valuable that he or she doesn't have to pull his or her own weight. You can probably tell that I'm 37 and had little success with bands. I'm only saying that because if it ain't working out with that guy, don't hesitate to send him on his way, with respect of course.

 

[candid_x]

Chances are he already knows it ain't happening. He'll probably be relieved when you tell him.

I've found it's best not to get into what was wrong, unless he or she asks. And then it's still more about what we're looking for. "I'm looking for someone who is better than me on guitar" works well in those cases. Maybe he knows someone but wanted a shot at it first. I think it's good to have players who can sit in once in awhile, too.

But I agree with the general consensus, just be simple and honest about it.

 

[Dizzy]

Just tell him the chicks in the audience are complaining that he's creepy looking and you're doing it for the sake of keeping the fans........

"Mate, it's such a cruel world, and I don't know how we're going to do it, but we'll have to try and face it without you...... the bastards !"

 

[Astrofreq]

Or just send him a link to this thread.

 

[leftyguitarblue]

Or just send him a link to this thread.

hahahaha, perfect!

 

[fbecir]

Do you record your rehearsals ? It's a good thing in order to progress. You have to analyze the recordings in order to see what's good and what sucks ...
If the other guitarist hears himself and see his shortcomings, he will surely understand that's better to quit.
Just my 2 cents ...

 

[ScoobySteve]

You'll never go wrong with the truth. Even if he takes it less than pleasantly, there's no loose ends on either side. Everyone can move on.

Lie, and embellish it, and it will come back and bite you.

If you want a band that is based on integrity, and produce music that is genuine and honest, you yourself, need to do the same.

My 2 cents.