OT: What do you do when you don't want to think?

[skabassist13]

Yesterday I had a very very bad day. My best friend/girlfriend and I got in a fight and now she's pretty much having nothing to do with me. Obviously I'm hurting kinda bad. I was with her for almost 4 years, and I've known her for 7. I'm hurtin real bad.

I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I don't think about it, but I'm failing miserably. What do you guys do when you don't want to think about something?

 

[Dr Stankface]

Play your amazing EB instrument.

And you know i'm just an IM away if you need me buddy.

 

[skabassist13]

Thing is Stanky, I don't have one.

 

[Dr Stankface]

Why?????????

 

[skabassist13]

$$ or lack thereof.

 

[tiffles]

on the bass issue...youll get one, give it time. i never dreamed id own such a beautiful thing. stanky is spoilt.

on the girl issue...just give her time. really thats all it takes. she'll start missing you. ....also flowers, i could never stay angry at someone who gave me flowers ....

 

[maddog]

Note to self, make sure I know phone number for FTD in Australia.

As far as advice, 5 years later and I still think of it from time to time. Best advice, go do something that you've always wanted to go do. Make an excuse, whatever is needed. Just go do it and have fun.

 

[koogie2k]

Well....you now have to look at it from a different angel....you get "ME" time....go do something fun....like jump out of an airpl.......<Mrs. Koogs just walked in>...I gotta go before she sees this.....BYE....and I wasn't here.......

Go do something fun!

 

[todd4ta]

For me, I like to go on long bike rides. As long as I don't get caught in a thunderstorm, it's very therapeutic. I've always done my best thinking in the saddle.

So I vote for doing something outdoors - go for a long walk, hike, run, bike ride, etc.

Good luck and hope things work out.

 

[Figjam]

I sit on my bum here and post on my forums. That or ping pong.

On a side note, me and my girlfriend of 2 years recently split. I feel ya.

 

[tkarter]

I would just take a good long nap. Why? Because the two of you have been together long enough it is a fight and probably not the real end.

The nap will help even if I am wrong about that.


tk

 

[adouglas]

Been a long time since that kind of thing happened to me...fights when you've been married a long time (20 years here) have an entirely different dynamic, since there's a lot more at stake and you can't just take a time out from each other.

But IIRC, what worked best back in the day was to do something that absolutely requires your attention but is not self-destructive or stupid. Anything will do...if it makes for a good story later on, all the better.

In my experience, while you're occupying your conscious mind with something manic, your subconscious is working on the problem with your gf. Her subconscious is doing the same thing (it may not seem so now, but she's human, too, and is hurt, too, and has feelings for you, too).

In my case, once the rage departed I'd eventually come up with some sort of peace gesture and some good words to say. Give it time...it'll work out.

Best of luck to you. If she's the right one, have faith that you'll both figure out a way to make it work.

 

[tkarter]

Tacking a time out will take fight out of any situation there is.

I got senority on the marriage thing too btw.

Even the worst skeptic will see things differenly after a time out.

Although true to my sig I still got some kids from the sand box days that if I ever see again it won't be to play.

tk

 

[Dr Stankface]

Buy You A Stingray! I Know You Want One! :d

 

[skabassist13]

Thank you for all of the kind words. I really appreciate it. You guys are like an extended family to me.

Turns out though, we departed because she wanted to chase another guy. That's all fine and dandy, but I feel she coulda been a bit more up front about it. I really don't see an us in the future as hard as that is for me to say. I really did love her, but I guess all good things must come to an end, and if it was really meant to be it will work itself out in time. So for now I'm just going to keep myself occupied until I forget it. I've always wanted to go skydiving. Maybe I'll rustle up some cash to make that happen. I got a couple dirt bikes in the garage that I've been meaning to get out, maybe I'll con my dad into going with me this weekend. We'll see.

Once again. Thank all of your for the kind words.

And your right Andrew, I do want a Ray.

 

[SteveB]

Save all the $$$ you would have spent on that girl and buy a MusicMan instead!

 

[phatduckk]

this stuff sucks. ive been down n out a couple times w/ a broken heart. it blows but u get thru it. i have this obvious, stupid, yet effective saying i tell myself "things arent gonna suck forever". its true. i looks back on stuff from the past and think of how i assumed id never feel better - well, eventually you always do; but thats not saying its easy.

what have i done in the past?

write stuff: music, words, random thoughts whatever. you'll be surprised at what comes out.

go out w/ friends. this one's pretty obvious but its way too easy to sulk and decide youre not gonna leave the house for the next 5 months.

think, think, think. its one of those things. its gonna be on your mind so you might as well learn something from the experience right? again, youll surprise yourself.

anywho ... avoid drinking too much and all that bad stuff. drink when youre happy - not when youre sad. avoid going into hiding. think positive. you will be fine. you will find someone else. you will be happy as hell - just gotta get thru this crappy time.

 

[strummer]

Yesterday I had a very very bad day. My best friend/girlfriend and I got in a fight and now she's pretty much having nothing to do with me. Obviously I'm hurting kinda bad. I was with her for almost 4 years, and I've known her for 7. I'm hurtin real bad.

I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I don't think about it, but I'm failing miserably. What do you guys do when you don't want to think about something?

I used to drink.

Nowadays I'd write the girl a letter (old fashioned w/ stamp kind).

 

[SteveB]

I'd just savor the angst. Life wouldn't be that great if you couldn't feel. Like Phatty said, times like these can often produce good song material. Whatever you do, don't numb yourself.

 

[revchrisesq]

Thank you for all of the kind words. I really appreciate it. You guys are like an extended family to me.

Turns out though, we departed because she wanted to chase another guy. That's all fine and dandy, but I feel she coulda been a bit more up front about it.
***********
Isn't that the case more often than not. Whether it's not wanting to hurt your feelings, or guilt...or some other reason.

My wife, when we were dating, gave me a great little book. Can't remember the name of it, but the gist of it is/was this: if a girl really digs you--you'll know it. They want to be around you all the time, they want to be affectionate with you. When that changes, watch out--get counseling, change, or break up.

But all things will pass, and in a few months to a year, you'll enjoy being a bachelor again.