Pzo checkin in, long time no c vibes plz

[PzoLover]

Hey Funseekerz,
Plz help with some vibez, much needed these daze, over 3 yearz now and still pretty far down with this stroke thing and no recovery and big probz with depression, major depression and I'm about to have my meds reviewed cuz I can't go much longer like this and it'z been so bad that I couldn't even login for months ... sorry folkz, but you're all the best and I miss youand keep going as best as I can with the comfort of my Stingray tee shirts and 2007 Forum Party teeshirt so kindly and generously supplied with my Forum award by BP ... Thanx so much again !!!
meanwhile, time for another "Q" post for BP and YouZAll ...
and THANX BIG for being here for me and listening to me !!!
ATB
/PL

 

[Big Poppa]

pzo stick around more and tal about things...anything helps

 

[ekb16b]

Keep your head up Pzo, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Rano Bass]

I wish you a complete recovery soon, hang in there and good luck with the new meds.

 

[tommixx]

WOW...I wish you all the best. I have dealt with many medical problems in my life and that lead to severe depression after a botched hip replacement that I later learned I did not need. I have a chronic condition that drove me to put a gun in my mouth a few years ago so I know how you feel. I tried every narcotic pain medication you can try, every sleep medication and every anti depressant that I could take.

I was on Methadone AND Dilaudid simultaneously at one time...I saw many pain specialists, neurologists, etc until after almost 2 years of treatments I met a Physiatrist at Duke University Hospitals who used to be a Neurosurgeon. She was the FIRST doctor that told me she could not guarantee that she could fix my problems but she was going to try everything she could to give me a better life. I reached Maximum Medical Improvement about 2 years ago or so. My condition is inoperable and will deteriorate over time.

At one point not too long ago I was taking 29 pills per day and was terribly addicted to the pain meds even though they were not really helping me anymore. I talked to my doctor about stopping taking them and she was stunned but was also very optimistic at the same time. She gradually took me off everything but I still went through hell for about 2 weeks getting off the Methadone and Dilaudid. Heroine (essentially what dilaudid is) withdrawal SUCKS big time. Currently I am on a stress reduction regimen of playing music every day. I take the occasional Goody's powder for a headache every now and then and I try and just live life and be as happy as I can. The BEST advice any doctor EVER gave me while I was going through it was...

FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND DO IT AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN!

THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO LIVE ARE WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!!

GIVE YOURSELF A PURPOSE AND YOU WILL GIVE YOURSELF HOPE!

GIVE YOURSELF HOPE AND YOU WILL GUARANTEE YOURSELF A FUTURE!

I am not currently taking any prescription medications of any kind. I like to drink a beer or 2 a week but that is the only thing I put into my body these days...I wish I could say I have never felt better! LOL! The truth is I am feeling MUCH better than I was a few years ago and that is good enough for me....

Peace,

T

PS - I wrote this in another thread but I think it may find some meaning here as well so I will post it here just in case!

God Bless you and keep up the good vibes...My mom's boyfriend (they have been together for 28 years but she will not marry him even though he has asked numerous times! She says why screw up a good thing?) Had Leukemia back in 1990 and spent 15 months in a hospital only leaving for 6 days total during that time. My mom DROVE to the hospital (94 miles EACH way) after work EVERY day and then got up and showered at the hospital and drove back to work the next day the ENTIRE time. If he was in the hospital she was in the hospital.

He had a Texan in and was getting Chemo pretty much the entire time he was there day and night. He obviously had good days and bad but early on the treating doctor suggested that they could not give him medical marijuana but they could give them a number and would not prohibit him from using it even in the hospital. He swears it saved his life. He was VERY sick for the first few weeks until he started using the marijuana and never had a problem from the Chemo after he started using it.

He FULLY recovered and has never relapsed a single time thank God. Interestingly enough he has been a maintenance engineer at the local hospital back where I am from for over 10 years now. He spends almost as much time counseling sick patients as taking care of the hospital. This past December he was named Employee of the Year for his dedication, his work ethic and his kindness and compassion for others.

One of the patients was in final stage terminal cancer last fall and Lee (that is his name) went in to see her and she was in terrible pain from the treatments. She told him that she wished that she could just go ahead and die and get it over with so she would not have to go through the pain. She was taking the treatments for her children and not for her. The next day he came in and asked her when was the last time she saw the sun and smelled fresh air. She replied that she could not remember...

He gave her a hug and took her outside. He looked at her and told her he knew what she was going through because he had beaten Leukemia but it had been a helluva fight. He took her hand and gave her a joint and said please take this it will help the pain. She said the only way she could smoke it was if he smoked it with her. He lit it for her and told her if it made her feel better he would tell her daughter where to get some more. For the first time in months she felt better and was not feeling as sick. He went to see her everyday and finally she passed away about 2 months later.

She wrote the most beautiful letter I have ever read in my life that was read at his awards dinner the night he was given the award. He did not even know he was nominated but every employee in the hospital had read the letter and he was the ONLY nominee that night for the award. He has the most magnificent outlook on life and believes every day is a gift. He goes out of his way to make people comfortable and happy as if his own life depended on it. I hear him say quite often that having Leukemia and going through what he did taught him to live life and appreciate all things. He is not afraid of death as he has faced it down on his own terms and he is at peace knowing that when the time does come he will be ready...but until then he intends to fight it with everything he has...

I know he would tell you to keep fighting! LIFE is worth fighting for...The rest of us should always remember that some people are not as lucky as we are and find it much more difficult to live the way we take for granted every day. I promise you that I try to live by his example every day and I am thankful to have the opportunity to do so....

Keep moving forward and you will never have to look back!

Peace,

T

 

[JayDawg]

PzoLover,

I want to offer my services to you or anyone else in need. I am a pastor and have counseled with many people with similar issues. If you need to talk, I can pm you my numbers and or e-mail address. My numbers are good 24 hours a day. In the mean time I will be praying for you. If you need anything don't hesitate to pm me.
Jay

 

[PzoLover]

Many GREAT THANX

HI FUNSEEKERZ
THANX SOOOO MUCH, for your kind and encouraging REPLIZE here in my HOUrz of need,
I'll be back in touch soon, my next problem will be keeping myself in good mannerz and condition to meet with my Shrink ... SHE'z a real "scorcher", tall and blonde and BEE -YOU-TEE-FULL and very polite
another issue to help me stay grumpy is a toothache and I'm also falling in love with my dentist, except'n she'z brunette and very gentle and professional

So, There'z gonna be lotsa work going on above my neck plenty soon .. my noggen is gonna be a "REConstruction ZONE
THANX again EH?
ATB
/PL

 

[PzoLover]

Praise THE LORD

PzoLover,

I want to offer my services to you or anyone else in need. I am a pastor and have counseled with many people with similar issues. If you need to talk, I can pm you my numbers and or e-mail address. My numbers are good 24 hours a day. In the mean time I will be praying for you. If you need anything don't hesitate to pm me.
Jay

Hey Jay, GOD BLESS YOU and THANX SOMUCH ... and meanwhile, If You're havi'n trouble contacting THE LORD, these daze, thst's on account of, HE'Z
at my house 24/7, by invitation, but I'm happy to share
ATB
/PL

 

[PzoLover]

WOW...I wish you all the best. I have dealt with many medical problems in my life and that lead to severe depression after a botched hip replacement that I later learned I did not need. I have a chronic condition that drove me to put a gun in my mouth a few years ago so I know how you feel. I tried every narcotic pain medication you can try, every sleep medication and every anti depressant that I could take.

I was on Methadone AND Dilaudid simultaneously at one time...I saw many pain specialists, neurologists, etc until after almost 2 years of treatments I met a Physiatrist at Duke University Hospitals who used to be a Neurosurgeon. She was the FIRST doctor that told me she could not guarantee that she could fix my problems but she was going to try everything she could to give me a better life. I reached Maximum Medical Improvement about 2 years ago or so. My condition is inoperable and will deteriorate over time.

At one point not too long ago I was taking 29 pills per day and was terribly addicted to the pain meds even though they were not really helping me anymore. I talked to my doctor about stopping taking them and she was stunned but was also very optimistic at the same time. She gradually took me off everything but I still went through hell for about 2 weeks getting off the Methadone and Dilaudid. Heroine (essentially what dilaudid is) withdrawal SUCKS big time. Currently I am on a stress reduction regimen of playing music every day. I take the occasional Goody's powder for a headache every now and then and I try and just live life and be as happy as I can. The BEST advice any doctor EVER gave me while I was going through it was...

FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND DO IT AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN!

THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO LIVE ARE WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!!

GIVE YOURSELF A PURPOSE AND YOU WILL GIVE YOURSELF HOPE!

GIVE YOURSELF HOPE AND YOU WILL GUARANTEE YOURSELF A FUTURE!

I am not currently taking any prescription medications of any kind. I like to drink a beer or 2 a week but that is the only thing I put into my body these days...I wish I could say I have never felt better! LOL! The truth is I am feeling MUCH better than I was a few years ago and that is good enough for me....

Peace,

T

PS - I wrote this in another thread but I think it may find some meaning here as well so I will post it here just in case!

God Bless you and keep up the good vibes...My mom's boyfriend (they have been together for 28 years but she will not marry him even though he has asked numerous times! She says why screw up a good thing?) Had Leukemia back in 1990 and spent 15 months in a hospital only leaving for 6 days total during that time. My mom DROVE to the hospital (94 miles EACH way) after work EVERY day and then got up and showered at the hospital and drove back to work the next day the ENTIRE time. If he was in the hospital she was in the hospital.

He had a Texan in and was getting Chemo pretty much the entire time he was there day and night. He obviously had good days and bad but early on the treating doctor suggested that they could not give him medical marijuana but they could give them a number and would not prohibit him from using it even in the hospital. He swears it saved his life. He was VERY sick for the first few weeks until he started using the marijuana and never had a problem from the Chemo after he started using it.

He FULLY recovered and has never relapsed a single time thank God. Interestingly enough he has been a maintenance engineer at the local hospital back where I am from for over 10 years now. He spends almost as much time counseling sick patients as taking care of the hospital. This past December he was named Employee of the Year for his dedication, his work ethic and his kindness and compassion for others.

One of the patients was in final stage terminal cancer last fall and Lee (that is his name) went in to see her and she was in terrible pain from the treatments. She told him that she wished that she could just go ahead and die and get it over with so she would not have to go through the pain. She was taking the treatments for her children and not for her. The next day he came in and asked her when was the last time she saw the sun and smelled fresh air. She replied that she could not remember...

He gave her a hug and took her outside. He looked at her and told her he knew what she was going through because he had beaten Leukemia but it had been a helluva fight. He took her hand and gave her a joint and said please take this it will help the pain. She said the only way she could smoke it was if he smoked it with her. He lit it for her and told her if it made her feel better he would tell her daughter where to get some more. For the first time in months she felt better and was not feeling as sick. He went to see her everyday and finally she passed away about 2 months later.

She wrote the most beautiful letter I have ever read in my life that was read at his awards dinner the night he was given the award. He did not even know he was nominated but every employee in the hospital had read the letter and he was the ONLY nominee that night for the award. He has the most magnificent outlook on life and believes every day is a gift. He goes out of his way to make people comfortable and happy as if his own life depended on it. I hear him say quite often that having Leukemia and going through what he did taught him to live life and appreciate all things. He is not afraid of death as he has faced it down on his own terms and he is at peace knowing that when the time does come he will be ready...but until then he intends to fight it with everything he has...

I know he would tell you to keep fighting! LIFE is worth fighting for...The rest of us should always remember that some people are not as lucky as we are and find it much more difficult to live the way we take for granted every day. I promise you that I try to live by his example every day and I am thankful to have the opportunity to do so....

Keep moving forward and you will never have to look back!

Peace,

T

Hey Tomm, Thanx for your msg here. very LARGE, one thing is, and here'z my "SECRET", I've been "self-medicating" with BC BUD lately and I'm proud to say that it's a full weeek as of last night that I did the "Cold Turkey Trick"
More PRAISE THE LORD !!!and on that happy note, to your point on hope , I recommend Romans 5 about Perseverance, Character and hope, and I'm about to begin a one handed woodworking project soon
ATB, GODBLESS YOU'ZALL
/PL

 

[PzoLover]

THANX for the BOOST

PzoLover,

Changing meds for depression is no fun, but I hope it is for the best.

This is unlike me but you hit a nerve so I'm gonna open up here. I'm doing this instead of a PM in case others might be going through something similar and haven't gotten help.

I had a rather large problem with depression two years back. I don't want to go into details but I was diagnosed with "major depression: recurrent severe" while hospitalized. I had to go on disability for two months going to a day program. I am doing much better now although I have to manage my mental health daily and monitor it hourly.

Depression knocked me on my #%@ and I take it very, very seriously now. I used to think "suck it up and be a man" - but coupling years of that macho type-A BS, pushing myself to succeed and the chemical imbalances due to biological issues made for a ticking time Bomb that I'm still dealing with today.

Playing bass (and a musicman at that) is one component for me to help manage the disease (ie. doing something fun), so I hear you and am glad it helps you too.

Take one day at a time and post here or other forums (there are a few good depression forums out there). Make sure you have a good therapist and take care of yourself. I find exercise, support groups, playing music, seeing friends, reading self-help books, spirituality, family and therapy are all part of my toolbag to keep myself in line.

I find the books "The Feeling Good Handbook", "The Power of Positive Thinking" and "The Power of Now" to be quite helpful. If you haven't read them I suggest checking them out as you may find them useful.

I'll keep you in my prayers and if there is anything you want to talk about, please PM me.

Take care,
shakinbacon

P.S. If anyone else wants to talk (I will not engage in debates) about this topic feel free to PM me as well.

Hey Shakin', your insight and kind wordz is verry much appreciated and I'll look forward to updating with you soon,
THANX again and may GODBLESS YOU, and, "SILLY ME"? according to the doctorz, I'm Still Praying for my miracle recovery and not about to give up my dream to start playing my SR5z again, especially my 20th, which I've never properly huggedand stroked
ATB
/PL

 

[shakinbacon]

Hey Shakin', your insight and kind wordz is verry much appreciated and I'll look forward to updating with you soon,
THANX again and may GODBLESS YOU, and, "SILLY ME"? according to the doctorz, I'm Still Praying for my miracle recovery and not about to give up my dream to start playing my SR5z again, especially my 20th, which I've never properly huggedand stroked
ATB
/PL

Thanks for the reply PL. Great to hear from you. I continue to pray for you

 

[Rod Trussbroken]

All best over there Pzo.

 

[DTG]

Pzo love and good vibes sent from this side of the pond brother.

 

[oli@bass]

Good to hear you've not given up! Reading about your beautiful doctresses makes me believe you're in good hands, , and I'm sure you'd be better at woodwork with one hand than I am with both! I'll keep keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you can get back to that SR5 20th eventually!!

 

[Jim C]

Dear PZO,
I'm new here but want to say good luck and never give up my bass playing brother.
Really touched by the great advice offered by Shakin, Tommi, and Jay Dawg; solid, and truly from the heart.
With people like that offering hope and encouragement you will always have great company.
Will keep you in my prayers and 2nd the thoughts that talking about the problems, posting here, and playing if you are able will make things better.

 

[PzoLover]

Many Thanx, Alwayz

Dear PZO,
I'm new here but want to say good luck and never give up my bass playing brother.
Really touched by the great advice offered by Shakin, Tommi, and Jay Dawg; solid, and truly from the heart.
With people like that offering hope and encouragement you will always have great company.
Will keep you in my prayers and 2nd the thoughts that talking about the problems, posting here, and playing if you are able will make things better.

Hey Jim, Thank You and all the other wonderful Forumitez for your much valued encouragement and support, and, Welcome to here, and Every day I pray for the elusive "Miracle recovery" that will restore my left side and allow me to get on with the important physiotherapy sessions that playing bass again will defineof course I have doctors and friendz of no faith who tell me that I'm crazy, but they ain't EBMM playerz, and they ain't down with hemiplegia, and they ain't got no Forum Family like I gotz, and I did meet one physiatrist who encouraged me to never give up hope, even though conventional "knowledge and wisdom" does not statistically favour me
Although I've been awol from herefor quite a while, the Forum has been and again is a much valued lifeline for me, so, THANX AGAIN and I'll be on my way to the next post,
Love and Prayers to YOUZ"ALL , and
ATB
/PL

 

[TNT]

Pzo,

The LORD said, ". . . you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

His offer still stands today friend.

 

[MadMatt]

Hey PZO,

If Lance Armstrong can recover from having a 40% chance of survival to win "The Tour" then you can recover to play bass again. My thoughts are with you. Keep your faith.

-Matt