Know the feeling...
I dont mean here... but I hate it when I go into a chatroom and its nothing but regulars in there and they completely ignore me. Why dont they just chat with thier messenger instead of go in a chat room and then ignore people?!
Anyway, I went back and read your first post, and here is my opinion for what its worth. You said you could hardly hear your H/O and P/Os in the higher fret positions. I tried to imagine what the deal is. I might be completely off-base but my first thought is the guitar is set-up wrong. The string saddles or bridge could be too low. I think this might allow you to play open chords the lower frets, but as you go higher the strings just completely buzz and fret out. Secondly, maybe the you just dont have enough gain. I can hardly imagine not hearing hammer ons if everything is set up right. You can almost hear my heart beating through my strings.
In my opinion, 9 gauge is a good all around size. Try 8's if your fingers arent hardened and strengthened yet and you have problems bending up to the right note, but beware of breakage. As your strength and calluses increase, try 9s. I have been playing for years and I use 9's on all guitars tuned to standard pitch. I use 10s on my other guitars which are tuned down a full step, with the top string dropped. (Dropped C ??)
Happy playing.. if you have anything else you want to ask just do it here or you can send me an email if you want.