Share your shame

[meenahga]

Back about 15 years ago or so, I played lead guitar in a rock band(see big hair avatar). At one point in the show, usually 3rd or 4th set, I would break into solo performance(hard rock stuff, Zep Heartbreaker solo, VH, etc).

Well this one night, the bar was packed and I decided I was gonna do the solo on a table. Our soundman pulled this small round table into the middle of the dance floor, along with a chair to step up onto it. (You must realize, we had played a few biker bars and were used to climbing up onto stuff, ie; refrigerator size speakers, cabinets, bars, etc.)
So I start my solo and am wailin away, I proceed to step up onto the chair, no problem. Still wailin' away, I step up onto this table. The crowd is going wild...

It is here I realize the table the soundman has selected is in pretty rugged shape to say the least. It was a round table about 36 inches in diameter, and it had a single column upright for support, with 4 feet at the bottom like a cross that would keep the thing from tipping over. Well the screws that held the table top to the column must have all been gone except for maybe one. I'm tellin you I was surfin' that rickety table like a surfboard, all the while, wailin away on the guitar, and wondering how the heck was I gonna get off this wobbly thing.

I went for it, hit a sustaining power A chord and tried to step back down onto the chair. The table gave way and went flying one direction, me the other and down I went, BANG. The guitar never touched the floor, and I never let go of that A chord. I got right up unharmed with nothing hurt but my pride and the crowd loved it!

 

[candid_x]

great stories..

Mamma, don't let your babies grow up to be guitar players!

This isn't like dancing on tables while tearing it up, but every one has bombed at least once... or will. I was in-between band incarnations, and gathered a few local guys to play NYC showcases. My manager was so eager to promote me as a solo guy with a backup band that he prematurely booked us into Gerdy's Folk City. I argued that we weren't ready, but he won out. Making matters worse, flyers were sent out to friends and old band members, all who came out to see my debute as front man. Holy crap, it was like those nightmares - unprepared, all new and unfamiliar gear, new and untested songs. It just sucked. I would have given anything to trade places with the janitor.

I played Gerdy's a number of times after that, with just a bass player accompanying. Fun and redeeming gigs.

 

[Sub1 Zero]

I had a drunk buddy back in the day who strapped on my epiphone SG and ran around naked saying he was Ted Nugent

 

[meenahga]

great stories..

Mamma, don't let your babies grow up to be guitar players!

This isn't like dancing on tables while tearing it up, but every one has bombed at least once... or will. I was in-between band incarnations, and gathered a few local guys to play NYC showcases. My manager was so eager to promote me as a solo guy with a backup band that he prematurely booked us into Gerdy's Folk City. I argued that we weren't ready, but he won out. Making matters worse, flyers were sent out to friends and old band members, all who came out to see my debute as front man. Holy crap, it was like those nightmares - unprepared, all new and unfamiliar gear, new and untested songs. It just sucked. I would have given anything to trade places with the janitor.

I played Gerdy's a number of times after that, with just a bass player accompanying. Fun and redeeming gigs.

to quote Rob, "that's piss funny mate" LMAO

 

[Dizzy]

Was the epitomy of UNCOOL :

As a 19yr old playing to a packed pub full of 18yr old pub crawlers, I was singing (song only needed 1 guitar) when the bassist caught my lead and pulled over my near new Satch, which cascaded into the kick drum

I panicked, completely disregarded the rest of the song, then found myself standing in shock, centre stage cradling my baby and holding it up to the light looking for dings......... then it clicked that everyone was looking at me (annoyed band members included) and the music was still going.

The Satch came out unmarked.

Unfortunately my credibility didn't

 

[Mick]

Put my first amp (Marlboro 1x6", 18 Watt Pure SS Power) behind my bike to give it a worn in look and drove around in our city.
2 days after I got it, my dad was not so impressed.

Later I sold the patent and it´s now owned by a big company and they call it "relic".

I still have the amp......after26 years

 

[mikeller]

Hmmm, several things come to mind, like a few years ago buying an EJ Strat when what I really wanted was an EBMM. Corrected that one....

Or how about many years ago when I traded even up a very very mint 1964 Ric 360-12 for the most awful 1970's 3-bolt natural finish/maple Strat ever made.

 

[TwAn]

Funny stuff here....

I can't top some of the stories here, but the stupidest thing I've ever done was carve my (now ex-) girlfriend's name in my guitar... It was an old Sunn Mustang guitar, absolute crap... I was 15 and all into Nirvana, Melvins and stuff... When we broke up, I just put a Nirvana sticker over it...

 

[starsky]

There was this one time that I was going to sell my Dargie Delight... Shame...

I can identify with that

Not a guitar, but when I first started out I had a Laney practice amp, 10W or something. Not being able to turn up to full volume in my parents house at the time, but still interested in the concept of feedback and natural distortion (not realising that a tiny tranny practice amp might not sound too nice) I covered the entire amp in a small mountain of cushions and pillows, right in front of the speaker (therefore giving the sound nowhere to go without me realising that either) and turned that sucker right up.

The resulting muffled buzzy sound was a bit disappointing to my teenage ears, and there was no feedback to be found. So after playing for 10 mins or so I uncovered the amp and switched it off to go have my lunch.

Came back, switched back on and all the amp would do was produce a pitiful farting-like sound at any volume - the stress of the full volume escapade had been too much for it.

It was the same for the next few days, I thought I'd broken it.

A full week later the amp bizzarely seemed to heal and was back to normal.

And don't start me on the big hair/perm/mullet days in the 80's, especially the episode where I dressed up like Mick Mars from Motley Crue (80's version with big hair!) and which has photographic evidence...

 

[Phrat]

I bought a banjo once!

The shame

I dont like to talk about it

 

[mesadualrec]

Like Rob my first guitar was a Nylon Classical

I snapped the High E and B strings and thought that you couldnt buy them so I replaced them with Fishing Gut/Line

I had very cool green strings for a while


but it sounded horrid

 

[beej]

I'm actually itching to get a banjo ... really ...

I remember one of my first "gigs"- this party for a friend's girlfriend. Early high school, we were the band. Got so wasted I actually passed out during (yes, in the middle of) a guitar solo.

Woke up later ... sometime, face down on the floor. My guitar took most of the abuse, bunch of strings snapped and the body scarred up. Nice work Jay.

I think somebody handed me a beer as soon as I sat up.

 

[MPM]

The very first time I touched a router, (knowing nothing about how it really works or how to set the depth etc.) was on my 80s Kramer Striker. I wanted to give it a recessed trem cavity for full floating action. Wow that router really took off across the body, and that was a very deep cavity! Oh and I had no template either... Disaster! In fact, I dont think I used a router on anything since!

 

[wagnerite]

I have a few....

1. I made a nylon string acoustic guitar that my family bought in Mexico into a key rack. It's a pretty sweet key rack.

got more info on this guitar?

 

[JMB27]

Secret shame? maybe the time I thought I knew how to remove pick-up covers .... or the time I thought I knew how to solder ... or the time I thought I could sand the back of a Str@t neck .....

oh yeah, the list of offenses is long ..... thank goodness it was the 80s and they were all junker guitars to start with ......d'oh!

 

[Ricman]

What a bunch of idiots you all are!!!

Great stuff guys - nice to know it's not just me!!!

 

[wagnerite]

Im surprised no one has mentioned self-scalloping fingerboard. how bout tearing up a boom box and use its speakers as extra speakers for their 15 watt combo? or hooking up 3 or more little guitar/bass amps to get that BIG sound.

 

[73h Nils]

Not so much a guitar shame-story, but amp related.

I went into Long-McQuade to test out some Mesa Boogies with my friend. I plugged into a Road King with a 4x12 slant recto-cab. This was my (and my friend's) first time using a tube amp, BTW. I hit the power to the "Hi-Volts" and flicked the "Stand By" switch right after, hence not giving the amp ample time to warm up the tubes. It was on channel 1 clean, so I just strummed a few chords and stuff...No sound came out (DUH!) but I didn't know why. My friend starts spinning random knobs...EQs, Masters, OUTPUT (!) and still no sound or whatever. Then, as if from the depths of Hell itself, the most painful, ear-splitting feedback I have ever heard. Keep in mind, we were sitting right next to the amp, like 1 metre (3 feet for you US folks) away. It pretty much killed everyone in a 200 foot radius. I quickly killed the volume on my guitar and looked at my stunned friend, then back at the amp... The OUTPUT was on 2 o'clock...on channel 4...with all tubes engaged in progressive linkage...with gain on 4 o'clock...

Needless to say, I bought a Mesa Boogie \m/ \m/

 

[darchirnoj]

When I was in 6th grade, my dad ordered me this ugly brown flying V guitar from sears (like 1985 or 86'). When I received my order and opened the box, I was disappointed to find a red "old foagy (sp?)" guitar (les paul shape). It played really well, but I wouldn't have known it until I got the V. I told my dad that I was upset because they sent me the wrong guitar. I finally got the V and immediately noticed that the red lp played so much better. I kept the V cuz it looked "cooler".
About 5 years later during a move, one of the guys that was helping us noticed the guitar in the garage, as I didn't play guitar anymore. He asked if he could have it, and I said sure.
Wish I had kept it; would have been cool to have kept the "1st one", ya know?

 

[paranoid70]

Not catastrophic, but... I do feel like a real dumbass.

I replaced a bridge pickup in my '88 Strat with a Seymour Duncan double rail pickup. It had a good beefy tone that I wanted, but was much quieter than the other pickup settings. I could never figure out why until just before I sold it, I finally realized that the pickup was set way too low. The neck and middle pickup actually stood up higher than the bridge pickup.... it was like that for over 10 years. I didn't realize that was what made the difference. D'oh.