OT: Kicking out a band mate

[bkrumme]

1. Tell him the truth
2. Do it face to face
3. Make sure you're respectful and direct
4. Be sure he understands it's about the band and not personal

I'm on the other end of this one right now. In a band with some really cool dudes, but it's not a good fit for me. The style just isn't me and my heart isn't in the music. I have to go to rehearsal ready to take my gear home because I know the guys aren't going to be happy at all. Worst part is the drummer is my brother-in-law...another reason I don't wanna be in the band...just adds another layer of complexity to the relationship.

If you talk it through with him, he will understand.

 

[fbecir]

Worst part is the drummer is my brother-in-law...

You let your sister marry a drummer
Or you marry a drummer's sister

In every case, you have no self-respect

(my son is a drummer )

 

[bkrumme]

You let your sister marry a drummer
Or you marry a drummer's sister

In every case, you have no self-respect

(my son is a drummer )

I warned him...my sister is PSYCHO!

 

[MikeVt]

Just tell him he's so good that he's being promoted to 'manager'. Isn't that usually what they do with employees who aren't very good at their jobs?

Just kidding of course...
Mike

 

[Sweat]

Just tell him he's so good that he's being promoted to 'manager'. Isn't that usually what they do with employees who aren't very good at their jobs?

Just kidding of course...
Mike

Maybe kidding Mike but man is there truth to that, especially at the company I work for

 

[MikeVt]

Maybe kidding Mike but man is there truth to that, especially at the company I work for

Hehe....yes, I was kidding Keith - but I definitely agree with you!

Mike

 

[slukather]

Man it sucks when you have to fire someone from your band, l usually find that they can't play and are great guys/girls, or can play and have ****ty attitudes, it's rare (for me) to find someone who is a great player and has a great attitude.

In your case l would just be honest, without being too honest, and say you're a great guy and a good player but he is just not gelling with the rest of the band.

Or

Ask him how he thinks everything is sounding as a band, record your rehearsals and show him, (without pointing out his flaws), he might not realize he's not fitting in.

Good luck with it though,

Scott.

 

[paranoid70]

Thanks for the advice and understanding guys. I didn't meet him in person to tell him, as we really never saw each other outside of rehersals. I called him and he took it too well really. Maybe he saw it coming too. The hard part is it does feel like you lose a friend.

Funny thing is, the day before we had some pretty big layoffs at work. I guess it puts things in perspective. I think having to lay off someone from their job, especially when they were pulling their weight, would be much much harder. Glad I am not in a position to have to do that... I think it would really tear me up.

 

[edrod]

Glad it all went well.

 

[slukather]

I'm happy to hear it all worked out for the best.

 

[leftyguitarblue]

Sounds like it went smoothly. Glad to hear it, it's never easy.

 

[paranoid70]

Another update. The same day I had to kick out one guy from the band, I found an ad on craigslist for a guitar/player singer. We finally had a jam yesterday and the dude is awesome. Probably the best 'all around' musician I have ever played with. He knew a ton of songs, played killer leads and is a great singer. I hope he wants to play with us again, because I could see the rest of us getting a lot better playing with this guy. Plus he seemed really cool too.

BTW, the best part is...... he played a Music Man! He had a modified Axis guitar with an added tone knob (never seen that before), different pickups and changed the switch so it split the pups. Between his Axis, my Silo Special and the Sterling I also played because my bass player was out of town, it looked like a EBMM showroom in my buddies garage.

 

[slukather]

That's awesome paranoid,

Keep us updated on how it all goes.

Scott.