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peterd79

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Joined
Jun 27, 2005
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2,881
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NOR*CAL
Hey guys-
I'm sitting here in the hospital with my dad who came in yesterday with chest pains...

So two years ago on my parents 34th anniversary my dad had a heart attack and through this I've learned a few things I'd like to share with you guys/gals.
No matter how you've viewed your parents in the past or present they are your parents and I encourage anyone if the relationship is strained make the steps before things are too late.
as the dr proceeded through the good news as to what the diagnosis was he eliminated a lot of major concerns.
And then he dropped the proverbial bomb on us...

As of right now they're treating my father as if he has kidney cancer. The mass they found is consistent with cancerous cells and waiting for a full body scan to see its spread anywhere else. We've got about 30 minutes to go before the test and 25 hours to wait until we confirm what is believed to be cancer.

Shock, and tears have been plentiful and to take my mind away from it thought I'd share my thoughts and hopefully some good will come from this.

So if youre a young one I encourage you to build the strong relationships with your parents while you can. If relationships are strained I encourage you to make the steps to reconcile those relationships and start over before it's too late.
 

Spudmurphy

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Aug 23, 2005
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Cardiff, United Kingdom
Sorry to hear this.

My Dad - a great drummer, died 18 years ago aged 70 of a heart attack. It was his 9th one !! - he was built like an Ox and survived WW2 and manual labour all his life.
Whilst visiting him when he was recovering from an attack - I just hugged him - kissed him and told him how much I loved him.
To this day I am soo glad that I did it - being a man it's not a common thing to do.

He is part of me and he still lives within me.

So I totally agree with Peter79 - give your folks a hug - tell them you love them.

Vibes coming across the pond .
 

Stevie

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May 28, 2007
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385
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Melbourne, Australia
I too have been there, when they are gone, they are tryly gone, too late for words.

Enjoy the time with them, good or bad, because you can never get that time again.

Hope all goes well.
 

dibart77

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Jun 15, 2008
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Location
New York
@PeterD79:

My prayers are with you and your family. I, too, just spent the day in the hospital with my 89 year old grandmother who is in bad shape in ICU. In her case, it's not cancer but just old age taking her body and her mind on a final joyride. Tough to see my usually sweet and kind gran mumbling, grumbling, and cursing at nurses.

I agree with you -- in the MILLIONS of years that this earth has been around, our time here is SUPER FINITE. Make the most of it with your loved ones before it's too late and you regret it. Good advice Peter.

Good luck to your dad, we're praying for him!

-Jeff

 

peterd79

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Jun 27, 2005
Messages
2,881
Location
NOR*CAL
UPDATE:
so it is confirmed that my dad does have renal cell carsanoma (kidney cancer) after doing a whole body scan it's been reviewed that the cancer has not spread to anywhere else and that the kidneys going to be removed and they view it as being 100% curable.

The dr says we dodged a bullet on this one...

Take a minute and hug the ones ya love.
 

beej

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Aug 16, 2004
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Toronto, Canada
I'm so glad to hear that it's treatable Peter- what a horrible ordeal.

I lost my dad when I was in my teens - couldn't agree more about making the most of every day with the people you love.
 

BUC

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Phoenix, Arizona
Look for the good in this little wakeup call. Life is seldom what you think it is.

If you have loved ones, then there is impending tragedy in your life. It is unavoidable.

My father fell over dead in the middle of a tennis match almost 16 years ago now. He was far too young but had lived a great life and we didn't have much unsaid.

A few years later my supposedly very healthy mother contracted ALS. 18 mos later she was gone. It was 18 tough months but she got to close out her affairs on her terms before it got to tough to do anything.

If I had a choice, I'd rather just live my life to the fullest, make sure you're square with everyone all the time, and hope that when the time comes, you're dead before you hit the ground.

Not sure if that helps anyone, but congrats that you get another day with your dad.
 

luv

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Dec 6, 2007
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933
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Colorado
Agree with everything said here. I can't think of anything more sad than realizing that you didn't tell someone that you loved them before they were gone. What we know as our every day lives changes quicker than we care to admit. Do what you can while you can.....especially communicate.

My dad is starting to suffer from random moments of dimentia. I was visiting him a couple of months back and was at his house for about 6 hours when he turned to me and said "apparently you are my son"....as if he had no recollection of me at all. He had to ask his wife who I was when I was out of the room. Eye opener.

LUV 'em if you got 'em!

Best wishes to you Peter.
 

peterd79

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NOR*CAL
Thanks guys-

The dr called and it was the best news ever- sure he's got cancer but sounds like it'll be a positive outcome-
We go in tomorrow for a plan of attack to get the kidney out.
 

bbake1

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Nov 12, 2008
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576
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Gilbert, AZ
Sometimes you just don't realize how important those family relationships are and how quickly life can change. Take care. My best and prayers for a positive outcome. Bob
 
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straycat113

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Aug 17, 2009
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Born and bred in Brooklyn NY
My prayers go out to you and your family Pete. It seems like in a very dark hour you at least were given some really good news. My uncle was diagnosed with the same cancer in his kidney at 79 and past away a year ago at 91 and not from the cancer. One good thing when you get cancer when you are old is that it does not grow fast. So all the best and hopefully many more years of having your father to enjoy.
 

jzeijen

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Sep 6, 2010
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The Netherlands
+1 on the statements in these threads. Seen people fall away too sudden too many times the last couple of years. Spend the time you have with your loved ones wisely!

All the best to you and your family Pete..
 

threeminutesboy

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May 11, 2003
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Location
France
Sorry to hear the terrible news Peter, but glad there some hope for a quick recovery

Prayers and thoughts goes to you and your family
 

koogie2k

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Dec 28, 2002
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Moyock, NC
Sorry to hear of the scarey situation. Glad the diagnosis is good though. Yes, take time to let your parents know you love them. Hope all goes well for your Dad and for your family.
 
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