Apology

[Microbaroms]

b

Consider this.

There are no two ways about it.

Either 'The Fish Monarchist' was Genuine or he was indeed, as so many determined right from the very start, a Troll.

Each of us will decide for ourselves.

At times I am invited to talk for an hour, giving a question and answer session afterward, at The Officers Training Corp based at the University, and in addition get to visit Troops and Airmen in various Bases and Camps.

Thus am well acquainted with and can easily recognise for what they are the tactical ploys and games such people employ. These include, Time Winning, Stalling Tactics, International Diplomacy, Political Interference, and Drawing Support from other Seats of Power.

My view was clearly that he was a Troll.

And I would like to present the formal basis for my believing that, a case based upon the best evidence available.

But to anyone that entertained the notion that I would have a natural bias, against him having so utterly ragged 'The Fish Monarchist', and been subjected to his continual abuse.

I would strongly point out the undeniable mitigating fact, that the only material substance I ever used to 'rag him' with, were his very own words.

The words he himself alone had written.

This surely must be completely acceptable, and the most completely reasonable of approaches.

I point this out, because I will largely base my evidence, utilising an Analysis of his very own words and the points he himself raised.

Using his own words and points against him is a powerful and compelling manner to entrap someone. It's very difficult indeed, to be able to escape from the intense rigours of such a closely scrutinised legalistic approach.

 

[Microbaroms]

1

1. 'The Fish Monarchist' claimed to have bought a StringRay and have followed the Fora closely, for a considerable time.

There is no actual evidence for this at all.

If he had, he must be aware of both the Threads that genuine StingRay owners contribute to. One features a long list of the number of Music Man Instruments represented by owners. Another, a sticky of all things, lists the detailed Serial Numbers of Instruments, et al.

Threads every Fora Member that legitimately owns a StingRay is extremely likely, to have enthusiastically contributed to.

Claiming to be rightly proud of his Instrument, 'The Fish Monarchist' has none the less failed to declaim the Instrument on either Thread.

Why is that? It is stretching credulity to claim to be proud of his Instrument, yet not want to actually declare it, on the very threads thoughtfully designated for that very purpose.

Unless of course he never actually owned A StingRay, then the behavioural lapse would make pure cognitive sense.

 

[Microbaroms]

2

2. Many discerning Fora Members, including Big Pappa Himself, have repeatedly requested 'The Fish Monarchist' for Photographs of what Big Pappa has described as a 'monstrosity'.

'The Fish Monarchist' has promised that he would post such photographs, but yet, having had ample time and opportunity to do so, has completely failed to fulfil the commitment, he made to the Fora.

Why is that? It would have most effectively diffused the criticisms he complained of. Yet being in a position to do so, and having promised to. He totally and utterly fails to. Why?

The kindly answer to this, is that he does not in fact, possess a StingRay, so cannot.

 

[Microbaroms]

3

3. There is of course, a darker, altogether more sinister possibility, we would be naive not to consider.

Whilst it is not my intention to specifically accuse or make any direct allegations toward 'The Fish Monarchist' whatever, it may be possible that the pulsed synergy of our combined imaginations are so in absolutely keyed in tune, that by some form of mystic osmosis, we are powerfully transported toward simultaneous and identical conclusions regarding him.

You will fully appreciate, that I am not personally responsible for any singular excogitation, that may be strikingly triggered in your brain any time soon.

The darker more sinister possibility, we would be naive not to consider is this.

That' The Fish Monarchist' does in point of fact possess a StingRay, but for some deeply mysterious reason, does not wish it to be seen and possibly clearly identified by anyone, as Music Man are most distinctive individual Instruments, thus of course, he cannot disclose its Serial No.

And that 'striking thought' would also be an entirely comprehendible, solidly thought provoking reason for us to ponder, as to why he would not think twice, about so very heavily modifying, the Instrument, as he stated he intended to.

This darker more sinister reason, would very neatly fit, a very great many facts that he himself has disclosed to us.

It is a working hypothesis that really sits up and works. A theory that encapsulates every singular nuance of what we know.

It is no less, than an Iron Fist in an Iron Glove. Alas!

 

[Microbaroms]

4

4. 'The Fish Monarchist' informs us his 'Teacher' has advised him to replace the Hardware, replace the Electronic Harness, and indeed replace the Pickups on his Music Man Bass.

I don't know what manner of 'Teacher' he is learning this excrementitiousness from.

But where I come from such a 'Teacher' would not last a New York Minute in my environment, bearing in mind my entire City, exists to Teach.

I have studied under the most notable Teachers, yet never once had them bring up such a subject. The notion that someone would study Bass Playing, pay a Teacher for that service, and that 'Teacher' recommend at the outset they completely dismantle the Instrument they are supposed to be learning, is completely ludicrous beyond belief.

When someone takes their first driving lesson, they are not expected to begin by dismantling the Car to see if they might by reconstructing it with other parts, make some improvement.

It is akin to someone attending a Piano Teacher, and the 'Teacher' advising the student to buy a set of tuning hammers and oscilloscope (this is how Tuning was taught at Steinways), and learning to Tune the Instrument, to begin with.

It is stretching credulity to the uttermost, ludicrous beyond imagining.

Yet this, is precisely what 'The Fish Monarchist' commends us to accept.

Who does the think he is fooling? Himself? Very possibly, but not us, I trust.

 

[Microbaroms]

5

5. 'The Fish Monarchist' next asserts, that ALL of his friends, ALL of them, have made exactly the same modifications, he is so heartily proposing as a reasonable course of action.

Well, during my life happily, I have been in the position, whereby in a given area, in a given time, virtually everyone would come to me at some point. I would get to see and know everyone and have insight into whatever people were doing.

This is quite an important quality to possess. Earlier in his career, Quincy carried a big 'Bible like book' held together with enormous elastic bands, with all his first, second and third call contacts for whatever you could possibly imagine. It is a great asset.

The salient point is, 'The Fish Monarchist's' assertion that ALL of his friends have made these heavy modifications, runs entirely contrary to very considerable personal experience.

Normally in the melee' of my life's rich tapestry, regardless of the Manufacturer of the Instrument owned, such modifications are the rarer EXCEPTION.

That has definitely been the overall trend of my personal experience. But to believe 'The Fish Monarchist', we are led to accept these modifications as being the RULE.

Once again, credulity is being stretched too far here, and all though the aftermarket for retro fitting third party products, (which has always existed) has no doubt grown, thanks to the Internet.

To proclaim the practise of automatically retro fitting, the best Musical Instruments available, as being something 'ALL my friends do', makes me wonder if All 'The Fish Monarchists' friends , are in point of fact 'Virtual, Internet Friends' of a type that do not in fact, exist so clearly in the tangible, real world, the rest of us know, and have our being in.

The experienced amongst us will note, that it is a matter of indisputable Historical Fact, and overwhelmingly the case, that the majority of the 'Most Notable Musicians' throughout the last Century, played on 'Stock' Instruments without any modification whatever.

Usually, for at least the first decade of their career, if not all of it.

That the current trend of certain Manufacturers to offer a diverse range of 'Premium Priced' various 'Artist Models' is not in dispute, nor that specific 'Artists' utilised singular Instruments. A prime 'Marketing' vehicle, if ever there was one.

The essential point to consider here is, how many people do YOU know in your personal area and experience, that play exactly the same Musical Instrument, and have performed Precisely the Same Range, of Heavily Drastic Modifications that 'The Fish Monarchist' proposed?

I believe, like me, you will come to appreciate as you think this through, that 'The Fish Monarchists' giant assertions, run somewhat counter to your actual experience in real life.

 

[Microbaroms]

6

6. 'The Fish Monarchist' having begun his initial post so very positively, asserting so very much of detail as fact, and having faced the derision of the Fora.

Suddenly changes tack. Seemingly eating humble pie, as out of character as that might appear.

Now, following stupefying reading of endless pages of the most astoundingly complete and utter mind bending nonsense, he has ever witnessed in his life, he is willing to directly defy the clear advice of his 'Teacher' and the considerable practical experience of ALL his modifying 'friends', who it is reasonable to assume, he is in very much better, closer contact, and relationship with, than anyone else hereabouts.

This is akin to a Research Student having thoroughly studied his subject.

Meeting a Great Authority on that subject for the first time. Who suffering a lamentable momentary relapse of their lucubratory skills, begins spinning in the street like a 'Whirling Dervisher' uttering wildly incomprehensible incantations aloud to all and sundry that pass by.

Suddenly seeing the light, the Research Student cries Eureka!

And reverses every notion he has thus far absorbed.

And we are supposed to accept this?

It is simply stretching credulity too far, and thus can best be assessed as a carefully considered Tactic, a Ploy, a Deliberate Measure to 'buy back his good name' for future entreaties he will find a way to eventually subject the Fora to.

This is what Trolls do.

 

[Microbaroms]

7

7. Being openly called out 'The Fish Monarchist' has no more cards to play. Desperate, he reverts to type.

Trolls court controversy, attempt division to set people against each other, seek to provoke anger, and catapult abuse.

Anything to take our attention away, from the real issues he fears may be disclosed, by the intense gaze of a newer more probing and inquisitive approach.

He claimed he was being persecuted for being a 'brit'. As I am British, born & bred, an Englishman root & bough, pontificality described as an 'Oak of my own generation', this is an absurd notion.

I live in a highly cosmopolitan city, so having inquired of the coloured men I have met over the last few days whether they would be offended by being described as coloured I can categorically state, they find the idea ludicrous.

Thus I have laughingly been accused of Racism, on the basis of absolutely no evidence whatever that coloured men themselves can see.

Of course, being unable to see 'The Fish Monarchist' over the Internet, how would one discern his colour? Unless the fact that he typed utilising Black Letters, was intended, to be a powerfully telling, subliminal clue.

And I have indeed, suffered repeated and continual barrages and tirades of abuse. Now I have to tell you that I really don't mind this, as anyone that works in The Music Industry that possesses a thin skin, will get nowhere at all.

Which you may well consider, best describes the expected course, of 'The Fish Monarchist's' future career, and especially so, considering the devastation, he intended inflicting upon his Musical Instrument.

Never the less, I have always extended to 'The Fish Monarchist' the elementary courtesy's, and responded with extremely good humour to his abuse, even as I do now, a grace I trust he will now enjoy the opportunity of extending to me.

The point is, that the white heat of this tirade of abuse from him, was really but a last vain attempt to deflect attention away, from areas deeply sensitive to scrutinising and probing inquisition. And on to another agenda entirely.

An agenda of his own, consisting of a deeply controversial subset of vastly wide ranging false accusations, which 'The Fish Monarchist' incorrectly believed, I would be forced to defend myself from.

Unfortunately for him, I felt no such need to defend myself, on the contrary, at heart one simply felt deeply saddened that a British person, of all people, could so utterly fall in terms of their uncreative use of the English language, in failing to effectively target their unimaginative insults.

The language you will recall, of Shelly, Keats and Shakespeare.

 

[Microbaroms]

8

8. This brings me neatly to my next point. Although I have no distinct talent for language at all myself.

Many of my lifelong friends do. For instance some of them are compilers of The Oxford English Dictionary, the accepted authority on the English Language Worldwide.

Others include A Professor of English literature at Oxford University. A brilliant man, some here may have seen in a recent TV Documentary, illuminatingly explaining the subconscious literary influences that informed the writing of the Lyrics of Lennon and McCartney's Songs.

He is often on TV and in better newspapers giving great insight into many diverse aspects of literature both ancient and modern alike. It is difficult to spend your life rubbing shoulders with people of such great intellectual demeanour, without learning something.

I have to write, that burning and assiduous scrutiny, into the word selection, form and sentence construction of 'The Fish Monarchist', lead us to conclude that the likely hood that he is actually derived from ethnic minority stock, is 'Nebulously Slim'.

Please appreciate that a tremendous number of well educated and brilliant Students from a wide range of ethnic minorities, attend here every year.

The suggestion is, based upon his writing construction word choice etc. That he is most likely a white person, from a working class background, that could be assessed as a little more intelligent generally, than his direct contemporaries and peers.

This assessment, of his writing, (the detail was an astounding revelation in itself to me), would entirely fit the cognitive dissonance displayed by his written behaviour, and the psychological profile most commonly found, amongst the sad miscreants that indulge themselves in the dolorous practise of Trolling Fora.

His writing distinctly portrays a Troll type of 'personality'.

Furthermore his behaviour is entirely to personality type.

This argument is striking, powerful and compelling.


Remember, he began by brazenly courting controversy, on a subject bound to inflame.

And finished, in a hopelessly whimpering attempt, to provoke strong reaction, division and fiery altercation.

Quite irregardless, of the necessarily expeditious change of tactic, in between.

 

[Microbaroms]

9

9. In order for 'The Fish Monarchists' assertions to be accepted, we find ourselves placed in precisely the position, so many Film Directors would desire us to be today. In the suspension of disbelief.

We have to believe, that a person would go out and purchase with hard earned money, the Premium Product on the Market, with a commensurately higher accompanying Price to match.

Then. Immediately purchase an entire range of highly expensive, aftermarket products, designed to totally and radically alter the state of the Instrument, he has only just selected to purchase.

When we add the most salient consideration of all, that the Instrument is Designed and Manufactured by Music Man, there only can be two possible options.

1 Either the individual is a misguided, ill advised, imbecile.

2 Or, he never actually bought the Instrument.


But if for some reason you Needed to totally disguise a Musical Instrument.

Before you would ever be able to show or use it anywhere at all.

Then, Short of a complete refinish, involving 'others'.

Drastic heavily modification of the Instrument.

Would appear to be, the best way to go.

Think about it..

 

[Microbaroms]

10

10. To ease the capable Moderators obviously sensitive, literary conscience.

The word 'worserer' was an entirely correct use of word.

Worse.

Worser.

Worsen.

Worsest.

Worserer.

Worsened.

Worsement.

Worserment.

All occur in the Dictionary.

As do all the words used contained in these 10 posts.

If your spelling checker tells you otherwise, you will find it at fault.


They often ah you no!


I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure reel glad two no
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pour o'er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Be fore a veiling checkers,
Hour spelling mite decline.
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite.
Of non eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me.
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas,
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.

 

[Jimmyb]

To paraphrase Vic and Bob.

'You wouldn't let it lie'...

 

[Colin]

time to go play guitar guys...

 

[DTG]

"At times I am invited to talk for an hour"

I can't imagine how you would limit yourself to just an hour.

 

[Rod Trussbroken]

Closed unless BP or my brother Mods decide otherwise

 

[Big Poppa]

Actually it can stay closed but I appreciated it and am happy that I didn't have to pay by the word...
He missed a couple of things....

I tried to buy a badass bridge on Musicians Friend and GC.com They are not offered....The Bad Ass bridge sort of dated the poster. The Badass Bridge brings back fond memories of Glen Quan and the early seventies of which I was part of that scene....

It is really funny that someone who for some reason cant play nice and ends up leaving then coming back and posting offensive pics and spreading viral cow poop....still feels the need to come back here. It is like you blew it with a significant other and then decide to stalk and torture the person...,How come thousands of members coexist nicely and hundreds of thousands of lurkers enjoy this every day..but the 25 gifted people who went nuts make sure that we remember them? We all have to be able to use out time more wisely.