Completely OT - but I really need to know

[higher1]

Ok..A dyslexic walks in to a bra

now thats funny! I dont care who you are.. and if that aint funny, you better close this thread right now!

the original post got a lil smirk outta me, thats about it. the penguin joke made me laugh about 10 years ago when I heard it the 1st time. and it made me chuckle again!

 

[Bill]

Two guys walked into a bar. You'd think the second guy would have ducked.

 

[Golem]

OK, A bald dyslexic porcupine walks into a barber shop.

 

[Golem]

All the rats in the Star Supermarket are dyslexic.

 

[Joe Nerve]

I feel I must defend the mountain part of the joke.

When I originally read the joke, in my favorite magazine Reader's Digest, it said 2 snowmen are sitting in a field. That really threw me, cuz it got me thinking of grass and stuff. I switched it to mountain cuz I thought it made a little more sense. I like that it kind of throws you off as it gets you thinking the punchline is going to have to do with mountains, and then it's like way out of left field. Aside from timing, one of the other secrets of good comedy is hitting people with what's completely unexpected. Ya? I stand by my edit of the original Reader's Digest version, although the bar version was also funny and an excellent rewrite.

RD jokes always need editing. There's at least one good one a month. Here's a bad one (but it made me laugh anyhow):


ONE!











How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb.

And here's my alltime favorite.

A guy hears three knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a snail. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. 2 years later the guy hears three knocks on his door again. He opens it and sees the same snail standing there. The sanil looks up at the guy and says, "What the hell was that all about?"

 

[Oldtoe]

Okay I laughed at the snail joke. I totally don't get the penguin or elephant jokes because I'm too busy making a rocket ship out of Play-Doh to be bothered with such intellectual tomfoolery.

 

[shamus63]

Okay I laughed at the snail joke. I totally don't get the penguin or elephant jokes because I'm too busy making a rocket ship out of Play-Doh to be bothered with such intellectual tomfoolery.

Plastic explosives, Ben?

 

[IBassLikeThis!]

So a baby seal walks into a club.

 

[Oldtoe]

Plastic explosives, Ben?

I guess I should've said "blocks" or "tinkertoys." Now the Feds are going to come calling. Where's my foil hat?

 

[Psychicpet]

Does anyone on the planet besides me think this joke is funny? Not a single person I tell it to laughs, and it had me rolling for about a half an hour when I first heard it. Still cracks me up.

Two snowmen are sitting on a mountain. One says to the other, "Do you smell carrots?"

mamma like!

yes Joe, I do find it quite funny but that could be due to the fact that I work with a Brit and my sense of humour has elevated somewhat

btw, you're still a mofo for having that Bumblefoot gig!

 

[Joe Nerve]

btw, you're still a mofo for having that Bumblefoot gig!

yeah... I ain't complainin. We have a lot of fun. we have a video coming out soon. shot a couple of weeks ago... soon as it's done it will be posted.

 

[shamus63]

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Ba-Dump!

 

[eddybomb]

good joke...made me laugh

two drums and a cymbal fall out of the back of a stationwagon....da dum chii

 

[Colin]

Ok..A dyslexic walks in to a bra

Did you hear about the new dyslexic porno film coming out? Debbie does salad.

 

[azzy_wazzy]

The Snowman joke and the cow joke especially made us laugh -being English and all we have an affinity for anything cow-related.

Didn't get the penguin or elephant ones - but I am mildly tipsy and very tired which could explain it!

 

[jongitarz]

Two peanuts walk into a bar..One was a salted.

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm...He says "gimme a beer, and one for the road".

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar (I know) The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

 

[Figjam]

^..wow

 

[jongitarz]

^..wow

Thank You! Goodnight!

 

[azzy_wazzy]

Two peanuts walk into a bar..One was a salted.

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm...He says "gimme a beer, and one for the road".

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar (I know) The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

Jon, oh Jon... there are no words

 

[bovinehost]

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "What'll ya have?"

Seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."




A priest, a rabbi and a preacher walk into a bar.

Bartender looks up and says, "What is this? A freakin' JOKE?"


Jackie