Drummer Jokes

[Golem]

OK, here's the thing. I want you all to keep posting ROTFLMAO drummer jokes, your best and your almost best, to keep me distracted from that Medallion Gold, Lined FL, Bongo HH5, used, for ONLY 900 highly inflated yet globally beseiged yankee greenbacks [with gigbag] over at everybuddy's good buddy, Bass NorthWest. http://www.bassnw.com/usedbass.htm

I'll start:
Did you here about the bass player that locked the keys in the van just 10 minutes before sound check? Well, he had to bust the window to get the drummer out in time for sound check.

 

[kbaim]

How do you get a drummer to practice?

Start tuning.

 

[Beth]

How do you know when the stage is level?

When there's drool running out both sides of the drummer's mouth.

 

[Psycho Ward]

What do you call a drummer with no wife or girlfriend?

Homeless.






Also, how do you get a drummer off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza.

 

[Golem]

What do you call a drummer with no wife or girlfriend? Homeless. ......

What do you call a drummer who has a wife or girlfriend?
An Easy Rider.

And a touche: I told a drummer one of my best drummer jokes.
His comeback:
"Ever heard about the bass player who locked solid with the drummer?"
My response:
"No.... "
His response:
"Me neither."

You KNOW you NEED this:
http://www.bassnw.com/Used Basses/musicman_bongo_5HHFL_MG_PF.htm
Action, gentlemen [and bassers], we need action on this.

 

[Moondog]

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A Drummer

 

[ricplayer]

What does a Blonde woman and a Blonde drummer have in common? Neither one can tell time.

 

[Golem]

What does a Blonde woman and a Blonde drummer have in common? Neither one can tell time.

I knew a blonde woman drummer named Molly Plugg. Once you drive her home, she can't be unscrewed.

 

[Colin]

What's the difference between a drummer and a kaleidoscope? The kaleidoscope has more interesting patterns.

Colin

 

[azzy_wazzy]

What does a Blonde woman and a Blonde drummer have in common? Neither one can tell time.

Careful Ric, careful...

That's all I'll say...

 

[higher1]

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb???












...











....






NONE!

They have machines that do that now!

BRRRRRrrump bump!

 

[Colin]

Did you hear about the drummer that researched his family tree? Turns out it had no branches.

Colin

 

[Darth Tater]

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A Drummer

That one has always been my favorite. Simple, and to the point. Plus when you first hear it you acutally pause to think just for a second

 

[Disquieter]

ok, drummers are easy targets

how bout singers

how do you know a singer is at the door?


he can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.


ok back to drummer:

how do you know a drummer is at the door?


the knock changes tempo randomly and he comes in just a little late.



ok
joel D.

 

[higher1]

did you hear about the bassist who locked his keys in the car??












....








....





Took him 4 hours to get the drummer out!



...yes drummers are easy targets. but they ask for it; anyone who beats on things to the tempo ( i use that loosely) of music deserves a good beating themselves! LOL

 

[Alvabass]

For me, the best instrumentalist-related jokes are about viola players, although it's unfair to me that such a cool instrument be so overlooked, but the jokes are funny anyway:

- Why the violas can't be heard in a symphony orchestra's recording? Because the first thing that engineers do is removing annoying noises.

- A classified ad: Viola from the 18th century for sale. Totally new from the 5th position and up.

- How does a violist practice a trill?: Playing "Für Elise" intro.

- A viola player from a small town in middle Europe found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, a genius appears and tells him that he'll make three wishes come true.

"Oh! For the first one, I want to be the best violist in my orchestra". In fact, next day all of his mates and the director were amazed with his skills. He inmediately became the viola leader of his orchestra.

"For the second, I want to be the best viola player in the world!". Next day, he was the viola leader of the Berlin Philharmoniker and gave concerts around the world as the most recognized soloist.

"For the third wish... I don't know... I've accomplished so many things... OK, genius: I want something superior to all the things I've done. I can't think of anything, so you decide. Just something even better." "OK", said the genius. Next day, he was back in his town, playing in his old orchestra's last desk of 2nd violins.

 

[Bill]

I'm a fiddle (violin) player, so I enjoyed those viola jokes!

Didja hear about the drummer who drowned when his buddy's pickup truck went off the road & into a lake? Couldn't get the tailgate open......

 

[Samingo]

I've always loved:

How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, the pianist does it with her left hand...

and

How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who cares? Nobody notices anyway.

 

[Dr Stankface]

I vote this to be a sticky. We all need a good laugh every now and then.

Andrew

 

[Dr Stankface]

And again, i'm the thread killer.

Andrew