ever just not fit in???

[screaminhugger]

Hey all,

I have been playing in this new band for about 6 mos. now. Everything seemed to go "alright", but just didn't ever feel right. Like I was playing the right notes, keeping time, but not "groovin'". I replaced a guy who wasn't a fabulous player, but had played with these guys for 6 years. I always felt like I was trying to fill his shoes, but never could. Have any of you ever experienced a situation like this. I have played with a 100 different drummers over the past 15 to 20 years, in many different bands, playing everything from punk to jazz, always did fine, found the pocket, laid in the groove. For some reason I just could never "click" with these guys. I don't get it.

this is a first for me, and a real ego killer.

james

 

[RitchieDarling]

YES! The last group I joined. After 4 months, I told them it just wasn't happening. I finished out the shows they had booked and walked away. It seemed at times that I was playing in a different club than they were!

Ritchie

 

[screaminhugger]

I am finished with these guys now. all I got to do now is convince myself that it wasn't my ability as a bassist, but just not a good fit...I can live with that. There was alot of personality stuff too. These guys would get sooo loaded that the keyboard player could barely finish the 3rd set. It used to piss me off, because he was the one who would ride me at rehearsal if I missed a note or beat. I worked my a$# off to learn the new tunes and by the time we hit the last set it wouldn't matter what I knew and didn't know because this clown would be wrecking the place. He used to tell me I needed to 'relax" and drink more...??? Spilt milk, sour grapes and a little bit of lemon juice...put it in a blender, drink it fast and forget it?

james

 

[EBMM7181]

Hey dude, don't sweat it. You can have a band with the Best singer in the world, the best guitarist, best bassist, and best drummer, but if they dont have '' chemistry '' then they are just going to sound like your average joe band. It doesnt matter how good of a musician they are, if you dont have chemistry, and dont gel, then its not going to work.
Im sure the problem you had was nothing to do with your ability to play bass, just a lack of chemistry, it happens to everyone.

Keep your head up, and your bass down LOW!

 

[Chris C]

Yep, sometimes the chemistry isn't there. In that case it won't matter how good anyone in the band is--it just won't happen. I've had it a couple of times over the years. It's miserable and best walked away from before animosity becomes a factor. It's really no ones fault; it just happens.

 

[tkarter]

If they aren't on the same level as you. You will never find the groove. Especially if you feel friction.

Musicians adapt to those who are playing and the groove is always there if everyone plays.

imho

tk

 

[SteveB]

If you're not into it, it's in everyone's best interests if you move on.

Sometimes it just doesn't happen with a particular band. Nobody's fault.

 

[phatduckk]

dont sweat it man. sometimes things dont click and its not anyone's fault in particular... it is how it is.

sounds like you're not 100% keen on them anyway. dont let it hit your ego at all. that happens all the time

 

[Kirby]

Yup, happened to me with a really tallented latin cuban groove situation. The guys were great but the drummer dropped tempo every time he sang backup. It was a hard decision to leave, but one I was happy with after it was done.

 

[screaminhugger]

thanks guys, I feel better. As far as talent goes. These may have been the best musicians I have played with, but I think the personality thing is what did us in. They wanted to replace their former player with a "clone", it wasn't me. Oh well, live, learn and move on I guess. This is spring musical season anyway, I have pit orchestra jobs to deal with now anyway, and they pay better. My other bar band project is very relaxed, it is more like a good time than a job, so it's all good. thanks again for your input.

james

 

[Oh! Henry]

I've been auditioning bands recently, and have noticed that not all Drummers have the same style of playing. They play the right beats, but something about their playing varies.

Sometimes it just gels and I feel like we're in perfect synch, but sometimes, no matter what I do, I just can't get into the groove. I just blame the drummer....It's easier and better for my self esteem!

 

[Jimmyb]

I don't fit in.

I'm a guitarist posting in a Bass forum.

runs and hides...

 

[gafbass02]

yup

Yup, same deal really i have played with two bands in the past that i just didnt 'get', and they so didnt get me either, my hair, clothes, playing style need for 6ft stack and four plus basses heh heh. I just moved on.

 

[Slim]

It is very hard to find a band to fit in right away but if the band is making money I always made myself to fit in

 

[sloshep]

It has happened to me more than once. When I was younger it really bothered me a lot. I have now accepted that I have limits to my abilities and not every one will like my spastic style. I am very blessed to be playing with a group now that I fit in both personalities and playing styles.

 

[stretch80]

Think of it this way: It's GREAT you're not wasting your time playing with a band that doesn't fit you. You could be spending your time with them, and miss the chance to hook up with musicians that you are "meant" to play with.

Trust your feelings -- you shouldn't be playing with them. And don't worry about your playing -- just from what you've said in your post, it's clear you know what you're doing.

Tell us when you get into the next better band.

 

[Ole Man Blues]

There's always going to be a better Bass Player than you, and me.

You play it how you hear it and feel it. Trying to fill someone else's shoes is only going to take away your joy of playing and make you feel inadequate. Not so. I'm sure you're a fine bass player or you would have already gotten the boot.

Hang in there and gain your experience, then somewhere down the road they'll be someone trying to fill your shoes......

OMB