Honest Question...

[leftyguitarblue]

First of all congrats on your engagement.

Personally, I think that if this is the girl you want to spend your life with an vice-versa, you really shouldn't sell the possesions that have that you love. I mean, if it's some old video games or maybe a guitar you never play etc, than by all means, sell it. But, if it is something that you have had and you love and has been with you since you have met, then that is something you should hang on to. If she loves you and wants to be with you forever, then waiting longer to get a ring or get married shouldn't be a big deal because you aren't going anywhere right?

I understand compromise and sacrifice, but you wouldn't ask her to sell her shoes or purses would you? She shouldn't expect you to do the same. There is no rush to get married, take your time, plan it out, and for god's sake just nod your head and say "yes" alot, it will keep you out of trouble.

 

[Multiversal]

First of all congrats on your engagement.

Personally, I think that if this is the girl you want to spend your life with an vice-versa, you really shouldn't sell the possesions that have that you love. I mean, if it's some old video games or maybe a guitar you never play etc, than by all means, sell it. But, if it is something that you have had and you love and has been with you since you have met, then that is something you should hang on to. If she loves you and wants to be with you forever, then waiting longer to get a ring or get married shouldn't be a big deal because you aren't going anywhere right?

I understand compromise and sacrifice, but you wouldn't ask her to sell her shoes or purses would you? She shouldn't expect you to do the same. There is no rush to get married, take your time, plan it out, and for god's sake just nod your head and say "yes" alot, it will keep you out of trouble.

+1,000,000,000

Don't be a slave to silly social conventions.

 

[chriseb]

engagement rings/weddings are expensive... Save your money and live in sin like me

*ducks ensuing onslaught*

In all seriousness though... I personally think that the amzing money being spent on these things could be better spent on setting yourself up with a house/assets etc... but, to each their own

 

[leftyguitarblue]

In all seriousness though... I personally think that the amzing money being spent on these things could be better spent on setting yourself up with a house/assets etc... but, to each their own

I agree with that too.

 

[candid_x]

My next wife will care more about my happiness than about a diamond ring, which is probably why I'll never have a next wife.

 

[Dreamrycher]

I took quite the opposite approach. Got rid of the wife and got my balls back, in more ways than one!

 

[Pittman75]

I took quite the opposite approach. Got rid of the wife and got my balls back, in more ways than one!

Ouch!

 

[Sweat]

Dude you have been given lots of thoughts on this so far, first diamonds are over rated, many other engagement rings can be bought for much less, I have been engaged to my wonderful woman for 8 years and we still are not legally married, but we have fantastic rings that i bought for under 500.00 total, and if I had been playing guitar when we met she would never let me sell it just to buy a ring, the ring is very materialistic, true love comes from the heart, so dont sell buy something cool that is not a diamond, James Avery is a jewelry dealer with great stuff that you can afford, save your EBMM

 

[Rocktuna]

First off, the ring doesn't have to be huge. It's the meaning not the size of the rock. The 3 months wages thing is something that the jewelry industry invented to sell higher priced rings
Second if you want, sell some stuff that you don't need/want but don't sell the stuff you love you'll just resent having done it. Playing guitar is part of what makes you who you are so don't ever give it up as you will be giving up a unique part of yourself.

$0.02 from a guy who's been married almost 30 years.

 

[MikeVt]

Holy crap....what a can of worms. THIS is a tough one. I'm going to throw out some thoughts and my opinions after 13 years of marriage, but they're not going to help. In the end, only you can decide.

1. I agree that engagement rings are overrated. Spending a bunch on one is money down the toilet. Your wife will never let you sell it to take advantage of it as an investment.

2. A sap will say that you get it back in the love and caring you get from your loving wife over the many years (hopefully) of marraige. Ok...cool. So you bought her love? What is a wife...a prostitute?

3. Many will say that the guitar is a material possession that can be replaced. So what's a diamond? It's just as materialistic, and this whole jewelry demand that women place on men is just as bad as buying guitars...And guitars are WAY more useful. If you play well, they can even MAKE you money!

4. Ok...so the ring is a symbol of your love and devotion. Why is it that the ONLY acceptable symbol of your love and devotion is a rock worth 2 months of your freakin salary? Who thought of that crap? I doubt it was a guy. I soda can lid can be just as symbolic.

So me? I fell into the same trap and spent a ton of money on a rock for my wife 13 years ago. At the time, I only owned two guitars, one of which she helped me buy. I don't know if her engagement ring had anything to do with it, but she now lets me buy as many guitars as I want (provided we can afford it) - so it seems to have worked out fairly well.

I'd say this....make sure - right now - that she has nothing against your buying guitars. If you sell your JP to buy her a ring and she doesn't dig the whole guitar thing, you'll NEVER get it back. Once you get married, your money is no longer your own - it belongs to your family.

Mike

 

[Sub1 Zero]

Guitars are replaceable; good people are not.

If she means the world to you, then believe me, it's worth it. As for a ring showing love and affection... the fact that you are considering these sacrifices puts a good deal more meaning into it.

 

[Jimmyb]

Just a thought on the whole cost/value of the ring.

I designed the ring that I gave to my fiance and had it made by a working jeweller (manufacturing, not retail).

I was able to get a lot more for the same amount of money, plus it's a one-off piece that's been done to her taste in design.

Might be worth a try if you're feeling brave...

 

[Pittman75]

Maybe you could sell it to a friend, so you know where the guitar is? Then, later on, buy it back? Whenever I sell a guitar, I'm sure to know who I'm selling it to well. Just in case sentimental GAS strikes back

 

[Tim O'Sullivan]

Surely its what the ring symbolises rather than the cost of it? Seems a terrible waste of money to spend 1000's on a ring, which could easily get lost, stolen or the like. As others have mentioned, if you are intent on spending lots of money (which I assume you do not have), why not put down some money on a house or something similar?

 

[Multiversal]

Surely its what the ring symbolises rather than the cost of it? Seems a terrible waste of money to spend 1000's on a ring, which could easily get lost, stolen or the like. As others have mentioned, if you are intent on spending lots of money (which I assume you do not have), why not put down some money on a house or something similar?

I had a girlfriend once tell me that an engagement ring shouldn't cost less than 10 grand.

Needless to say, I figured out soon after where her mind was at and we weren't together long afterwards.

It's not about a ring, it's about what the ring symbolizes. Who cares if it took a whole year's salary to buy, or if you got it out of a box of Crackerjacks?

 

[DavidOfOz]

I had a girlfriend once tell me that an engagement ring shouldn't cost less than 10 grand.

Needless to say, I figured out soon after where her mind was at and we weren't together long afterwards.

It's not about a ring, it's about what the ring symbolizes. Who cares if it took a whole year's salary to buy, or if you got it out of a box of Crackerjacks?

Good point.

There are some people who want to get married for the wedding, not the relationship. For them, it's all about the ceremony, the dressess/suits, the catering, the rings...the "dream". But the relationship itself takes a back seat or is completely overlooked.

It seems to me that if a couple is planning on spending a lifetime together, they should be at a point where they know and understand what each other values most. If the girl makes incredible demands for an engagement ring (similar to what Multiversal described), and shows no concern/understanding/empathy that her partner may lose something very important to him to get that ring...then she doesn't understand what her partner values. And you'd have to question if their relationship is ready for marriage.

[End Dr Phil Mode ]

PS My wife won't let me sell my musical instruments...not for rings, and not to pay the bills!

 

[MikeVt]

If the girl makes incredible demands for an engagement ring (similar to what Multiversal described), and shows no concern/understanding/empathy that her partner may lose something very important to him to get that ring...then she doesn't understand what her partner values. And you'd have to question if their relationship is ready for marriage.

^+100,000 Well said!

Mike

 

[SteveB]

"Wind, women and fortune change quickly.."