***Jeep Tour Joke Thread***

[kevin]

This is a thread for those folks who are adding additional, non comfirming, posts to my(supposed) nice "clean" "Official Jeep Tour Sign Up Thread". I'll post a link, so that we can keep that thread clean.....ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!!! Silly Knuckleheads!!!

 

[Colin]

so does this mean I can post all my jokes here?

 

[dmullen]

"There once was a girl in a Jeep from Nantucket..."

 

[AnthonyD]

...Who carried the strings for her 'Balls' in a bucket...

 

[kevin]

on her way to a bash...where Knuckleheads from far and wide will truck it

 

[PeteDuBaldo]

She came from the city,
And thought she was pretty.
But really she was just an old biddy.

 

[adouglas]

So this penguin is driving his Jeep through the desert. Suddenly there's a loud noise, a lot of smoke, and the thing stops running.

The penguin pulls out his cell phone and calls AAA. The mechanic shows up, pops the hood and has a look.

While the mechanic is doing his thing, the penguin decides to eat the lunch he packed...a fish sandwich.

He's munching away and making a bit of a mess when the mechanic asks him to come around to the front of the Jeep. The penguin gets out, still eating his sandwich, and joins the mechanic.

"Here's your problem," the mechanic says. "You've blown a seal."

The penguin takes a napkin and wipes his beak, saying, "No, no, that's just tartar sauce....."

 

[kevin]

A blonde was driving through the desert in her Jeep(on her way to the bash)...........when all of a sudden she glanced off into the sand dunes and noticed another blonde rowing away in a row boat out in the Dunes!! Appauled by the act she promptly pulled over to the side of the road and began to lay into the stupid boat rowing blonde: "I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU!!!! It's idiotic blonde's like you that give other Blondes such a bad reputation!!!! Why in the world would you be rowing a row boat through sand dunes????? If I knew how to swim I'd go out there and kick your a&& right now"

 

[Oldtoe]

"What's skinny, loud, and gets motion sickness?"

TYLER!

 

[Big Poppa]

tyler

 

[NickDuBaldo]

During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust.

At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.

He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!

"This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
"I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"

 

[Adwex]

So a "C", an "E flat", and a "G" get out of their Jeep and walk into a bar....

The bartender says....

"Hey, we don't server minors here"

 

[TylerDowBryant]

Andy locked his keys in his jeep...it took 4 hours to get Ben out!

touché

 

[tkarter]

Jeeps are now built by Dodge. Look up Dodge in the dictionary. To avoid.

tk

 

[dmullen]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy.

After a short while he asked her what she was. "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," said the young woman.

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."