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nobozos

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Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
675
Location
Pekin, Illinois
Sold my 1993 EBMM/EVH.

Here's the story:

I had been waiting 6 years to buy a Harley. When the topic was originally brought up, I was 35. My wife convinced me that there were more important things to spend money on, and I agreed with her and bought her a new kitchen instead. We're talking hardwood floors in all the hallways, in the kitchen, and in the dining room. Everywhere except the bedrooms and bathroom. Hickory Amish cabinets, and all new stainless steel appliances. Kitchen walls were torn down to the studs and re-plastered. Needless to say, I spared no expense so she would be happy. The only thing I said was, "I'm going to have a Harley by the time I'm 40". Well I'm 41 this year, so I figured it was high-time.

Fast forward to today:

About 3 weeks ago, I found a killer Vivid Black 1993 Dyna Low Rider for $6000. Couldn't resist the opportunity, so I picked it up. My wife was less than pleased. Let's just say, she did not hold a very high opinion of me, thought my priorities were out of whack, and that I was selfish. It would be really easy to blame her, and say that she's only happy when I'm not, and pissed when I am, but I suspected something different. I could see that what was bothering her is that she thought that things were more important to me that she was. I felt it was important for me to show her that she was more important to me than any "thing" that I could own. She knew that I had waited 15 years for the opportunity to own an EBMM/EVH guitar. She knew it was my prized possession, so without her knowledge, I talked to a friend who told me if I ever wanted to get rid of it, to let him know. He brought the money over, and picked up the guitar on Monday. When my wife got home, I handed her the money. She wanted to know immediately where it came from. I told here that I had sold the guitar. At first, she didn't believe me, but when she realized I was telling the truth, I believe it had the desired effect.

It really broke my heart to get rid of the guitar, but sometimes in life you have to realize what is really important. Maybe someday I will have the opportunity to pick up another one.
 
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colinboy

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Apr 15, 2007
Messages
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Location
Corkcity,Ireland
I can sympathize with you in some respects and say your a very decent human being to put other loved ones in your life before yourself. If she got here new kitchen 6 yrs ago then you are more than entitled to treat yourself to something youve always said you wanted to get. Did you discuss with your wife before you bought the harley? I think your mad in the head to go out and sell your guitar. If your wife know how important the guitar is to you and your passion for it then she shouldnt of put a guilt trip on you like that after you bought the bike!
 

nobozos

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
675
Location
Pekin, Illinois
I can sympathize with you in some respects and say your a very decent human being to put other loved ones in your life before yourself. If she got here new kitchen 6 yrs ago then you are more than entitled to treat yourself to something youve always said you wanted to get. Did you discuss with your wife before you bought the harley? I think your mad in the head to go out and sell your guitar. If your wife know how important the guitar is to you and your passion for it then she shouldnt of put a guilt trip on you like that after you bought the bike!

Oh yes. I tried to discuss the Harley with her before I bought it, but she didn't even want to talk about it. Every time I tried to talk to her, and explain what an insanely good deal it was for the bike, she would just say, "I don't even want to talk about it. Just do what you are going to do."

When I hear something like that, I assume one of two things:
1) She knows I'm going to get it, and it's okay
2) She doesn't think I have the balls to do it

Either way, I'm going to do it. If it's number 1, then everything is fine. If it's number 2, I'm going to show her I can take my balls out of her purse long enough to buy what I think I deserve.

Anyway, after I bought the bike, she went from not wanting to talk about it, to wanting to talk about it all night, half the next day, and a little bit every day since. She wasted no opportunity to express her displeasure.
 

Malmucci

Active member
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
43
Location
Norway
Oh my... If it's your own money you should be able to do whatever you want with it. I'm not going to rant away on this because you're a grown up man, and I really don't know your situation and your wife. But I think it's kind of sad to hear that she's treating you like that. It sounds pretty selfish or childish to not being able to discuss these kinds of things with you.

Well... It's up to your brother!
 

DevRock

Well-known member
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
398
Not being a dick, but sounds like there are other underlying issues that need to be addressed. (disclaimer: my marriages isn't perfect, so not trying to be holier than thou.)

And, I'm really sad to see you felt you had to sell your EVH.
 

colinboy

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Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
1,742
Location
Corkcity,Ireland
Oh my... If it's your own money you should be able to do whatever you want with it. I'm not going to rant away on this because you're a grown up man, and I really don't know your situation and your wife. But I think it's kind of sad to hear that she's treating you like that. It sounds pretty selfish or childish to not being able to discuss these kinds of things with you.

Well... It's up to your brother!

Couldnt agree more plus i dont want to bash your wife on here either as i dont know ye personally or yer circumstances but if youve waited 6 yrs to get something youve always wanted and then she put a guilt trip on you then theres definitley something wrong there. I cant believe you sold the guitar!!!
 

tonelover

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Apr 24, 2010
Messages
269
Location
Milford, NH
Sounds like she is being a bit tough on you. Tell her that if she doesn't lighten up a bit you're not taking her on any rides.
 

nobozos

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
675
Location
Pekin, Illinois
Oh my... If it's your own money you should be able to do whatever you want with it. I'm not going to rant away on this because you're a grown up man, and I really don't know your situation and your wife. But I think it's kind of sad to hear that she's treating you like that. It sounds pretty selfish or childish to not being able to discuss these kinds of things with you.

Well... It's up to your brother!

I'm not going to disagree with your points. I can't say that they didn't occur to me. The fact is that regardless of whether or not I think her feelings are valid or not, they are her feelings. Her stance on the whole thing seemed unreasonable to me, and that tells me that the problem wasn't the bike, and that it was something deeper.

I felt it was necessary to show her she was important, more so than anything. Guitars come and go, but family comes first. Been married for more than 20 years with 3 kids. You don't achieve that by getting what you want all the time.
 
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colinboy

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Apr 15, 2007
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Corkcity,Ireland
Mate theres obviously issues that run alot deeper with yourself and your wife and selling a guitar that you love wont make any difference only short term perhaps.
 

nobozos

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2002
Messages
675
Location
Pekin, Illinois
Mate theres obviously issues that run alot deeper with yourself and your wife and selling a guitar that you love wont make any difference only short term perhaps.

Dude, tell me about it. I think I'm pretty reasonable and selfless most of the time. You're asking me to evaluate what could be going on in her head, and I'm just not qualified to go there. For me to know what she's thinking, she has to tell me, and she doesn't.

I have no control over her thoughts and actions, just mine
 

LegGodt

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Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
166
Location
Northeast PA
Personally I would have sold the bike. Based on your story it seems she was upset about you getting the bike. Not sure how selling your prized EVH EBMM fixes that fact.
 

lessthanone

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
440
Well, im not married yet but have a gf of 3 yrs and of course at this point we live together. She understands I make all the money and as long as the bills are paid I tend to buy all the things I never got as a child( plus all the things I want as an adult :) Anyways, it sometimes comes to arguments but when it comes down to it, Im the one bringing home 1200/wk. Doesnt mean Im selfish about it though. But wr also dont have kids so I guess its a little different
 

Malmucci

Active member
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
43
Location
Norway
As I said man, I really don't know anything about your situation. It is most certainly a very grown up thing to do, I mean that in a positive way. I hope things work out and that you'll be able to save up for a new guitar!
 
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