so... i am going to leave my band

[danybluesyjazz]

well... 1st... i would like to apologize for my bad english (im from South America)
so i´ve been playing with these guys for, like 3 months or so.
my best friend started this band with another friends of mine and everything was ok until one day he asked me if i would like to join the band. the idea of playing with he and my old friends was so temptating that i accepted, and for the first month it was a lot of fun and it was really nice to spend time with the old "gang"

but then one day he just took a decision without asking me about producing one of his songs, my other friends agreed with him, but for some reason he didn´t even asked me anything until the day i had to bring the money... well it wasn´t a lot of money but just the fact that he didn´t asked me, pissed me off
anyway i just told him that i would stay if he did not take those decisions again without asking me... and things got a little awkward in the next month because we were only rehearsing that song all the time and i had to adapt to what he wanted to do in the rehearsals, i tought it would be temporarly.
i had to travel to the states with my family for 2 weeks and when i got back to my country he had a date in a studio with the band to record and told me i had to give more money... i knew he wanted to record the song, but as we weren´t a "good sounding" band yet and didn´t even have a bass player i told him to wait for some months and see how things will turn out with the band... he agreed. but when i got back to my country and he tells me that, i told him to wait just a little more, and then he says "there´s nothing to decide we´ve already decide it, i can help you with part of the money that you have to give but you still have to put some money ( A LOT!!!)"
my friendship with him has been awkward in the last couple of weeks, and today i just started to think about other things (bad things) that we have done to each other in the past.
also i do not have the time to adapt to their schedules and do not have the money to him whenever he wants.
the bottom line is that my other friend in the band are just there to work with the producer (who is a guitarrist from a famous band in my country) and they are studying other careers not related to music so i don´t think they are taking the music as seriously as i do, and that is kinda frustrating because i really want to progress and get far, and grow musically as much as i can, and i feel like im not doing anything with these band.
the other thing is that im really looking to play jazz more than this "garage rock", and i have some offers from another band that it´s starting to get known locally.
anyway sorry for the long post im just looking for some feedback and opinions or advices you could give me thanks - Daniel

 

[JMD]

Oh man, band politics are often harder to play than the music itself. By the sounds of it (with what you have written), your friend has decided he makes the decisions and rest are allowed to help him pay for it. This will not end well weather its now or in 10 years - however - it's an awsome experience for you to think about with the next band you play in (sounds like you know what you want to do). With the new band, have a chat from the beginning laying out how you need the communication to happen, expectations regarding leadership and financial contributions and how to split money coming in. Tell them about your bad experience without dwelling too long - at the end of the day - good band moral will serve the music performance (and that's the 'love' part).

The exception - would be a case like James Brown, where he dominates - bacause he's pure, explosive musical genious and your pushed to your limit musically (as I understand of coarse).....having said that - if you 'have the talk' and someone does want to claim ultimate leadership - you gotta decide if you feel they have that magic something before you give your talent and energy away like that. Let them know very plainly what you think....even if it's - 'I don't know yet if I feel you have it....I'm gonna see for now'. You gotta get something out of it that makes it worth it (sometimes money, sometimes music, sometimes a good 'ol bad experience to keep ya sharp!)

 

[nasticanasta]

Ya gotta be happy or jamming will be like a job you hate. Find the guys with your own tastes. Who cares about leadership... I usually take charge and played lead... but right now I'm in a band where I am just rhythm guitar and I Love it cause we are playing Detroit/garage type rock. lol I do enjoy setting tempo... i speed up and slow down the band...like Keith Richards he sets the tempo not the drums or bass..it's real fun

 

[Beat Poet]

Forget about this douche in that band, it's not worth hanging onto. Problems over "musical differences" are bad (sometimes almost trivial), but as soon as someone starts asking you to pay for what they see as their "project", forget them.