Sometimes life is like an SNL skit...

[Psycho Ward]

This went down the other night while I was marooned in Fairfax, VA.

I had my Daughter drop me off at a Marriott basically in the parking lot of the Fair Oaks Mall. After I checked in I walked over to the mall to kill a little time and forage for food. They were about to close so I headed back to the hotel thru the parking lot. Just as I left the Macy’s exit I heard a woman screaming in the parking lot. I started to run toward her to help, but as I got closer I saw she was cussing and kicking a bright yellow H2 Hummer. I first thought it must be some sort of a domestic dispute, but as I got closer I could see there was no one in the car. Then I noticed she was franticly pushing the button on her remote door lock, then cussing like a sailor (sorry Jack) and then kicking the driver side door.

I went up to her and asked her what the problem was, she yelled “this stupid (a string of cuss words) thing won’t unlock!” I asked her if she had tried the actual key, she said “of course I tried (another string of very well executed cuss words) key!”

About this time a large conversion van started to back out of a parking space right next to us, so I stepped aside to get out of the way. But as soon as the van left we were able to see the vehicle that was on the other side of the van… another bright yellow Hummer H2, with all the lights on. I then asked the lady, “You think your key fits that one?”

I did the horse laugh all the way back to the hotel, too frickin funny!

 

[bassmonkeee]

HA! That's too much.

 

[shamus63]

Priceless! Did she bang up the other H2 in her fit 'o' rage?

 

[GassieBall]

How the heck does someone like that afford a Hummer? And the gas to boot?

 

[hankSRay]

classic lol

 

[adouglas]

Was she by any chance a blonde?

<ducking>

 

[Psycho Ward]

... Yes blond and black shoe marks on the driver door....

 

[Disquieter]

Before i read the post i thought this was going to be about your present in return for the car..


the justin timberlake video D*** in a box...


that would have been funny too

you tube it everybody.

 

[Joe Nerve]

great story, thanks for the entertainment. somehow the hummer adds to the whole effect.

I did something similar a couple of years ago. Went to the mall with my friend. When we left we walked over to my car, I can swear to this day I unlocked the door (I always lock my car doors and if I didn't have to unlock it, I'd think, "DAMN, I forgot to lock the door". I didn't think that), got in and opened the passenger door for my friend. He got in. I noticed when I leaned over that there was a fire extinguisher in the back seat that I didn't put there. Because I'm paranoid and crazy I immediately thought, "A BOMB!!!" That passed. I was confused. Went to put the key in the ignition, turned to my friend and said, "Dude, this isn't my car."

 

[enjoneer]

That was a good laugh! I too had a similar thing happen back in college...

After playing the opening slot for another local band one night I asked a friend if I could put my half-stack in the back of her Jeep Cherokee, since I only had my pickup truck and didn't want to leave it in the back while we watched the rest of the show.

The next day when I called to come pick it up, I was shocked it find out that she did not have my cabinet! I told her- I put it right next to your golf clubs. Of course she did not have any golf clubs in the back of HER Cherokee.

Long story short, I ended up finding out the address of the the guy who had the same Jeep as my friend and had the get the cops involved to break into his locked dorm room to get my cab back.

 

[wraithwrider]

When I was 15 (a long time ago) I was at tech college training to be a motor mechanic.

At college we had a Bedford van outside with the keys in the ignition. It needed new kingpins and bushes fitted.

We dragged it in and disassembled the front end to find it was all greased up and in very good order.

You guessed it. There were two Bedfords parked up both with the keys in the ignition.

Our owner arrived a bit confused but luckily saw the funny side.

Peter

 

[Big Poppa]

ok way off color but one of my favorites...A friend from holland that makes Vodka told me this one......

He dutch friend was at a cocktail party and was wearing tesee twentry dollar American underwear.....He walked outside to try to pass some gas unnoticed and unfortunately it wasnt gass and there was a little mess......He slunked into the service bathroom and wwrapped the underwear in a wad o paper towels and put it in a bagggie and then slipped it into his wives purse and had a great party


He was laying in bed later and said "oh Honey< I had a little accident and messed up my tommy underwear and I put them in your purse....just wanted to give you a heads up"


she said " Dear, I didnt bring a purse."

 

[AnthonyD]

 

[koogie2k]

That stinks...

I was off on a job....called home to talk to my wife. She just got out of the Hummer and started freaking out. I asked her what the problem was....she stated she locked the keys inside. I told her to call on-star....as we have that service....she did not have the number. So, I had to make a phone call back to the states (satellite phone) to a friend of mine....he looks up on-star on the 'Net and calls them for my wife. I call my wife back and she was like...how did you get the door unlocked? I told her what I did...she was like...cool.....then she screams (about blew out my ear drum), so of course, I ask what is wrong....she said the keys were in her pocket.....I proceeded to hang up the phone....

 

[Bill]

These stories are so funny, I'm laughing a little too loudly & I think I woke up my 2-year-old daughter!

This story is a little different, but reading about all of these vehicles reminded me of a prank I pulled on a bass-playing friend of mine. At the time, my friend had a Ford Taurus station wagon, one in which you could punch in a code on the keypad by the door handle & unlock the door. He'd had this car for a while, but he never did figure out how to program the keypad. (This guy's not the brightest bulb on the tree.) I showed him how, and as a result, I knew his unlock code. Since he began using the code, he'd leave his keys in the car...I guess so he wouldn't lose them.

Anyway, some time later my girlfriend (now wife) and I were heading home from somewhere. We were passing a place where my friend happened to be playing music that night, and I suddenly had a plan. We pulled into the parking lot & I found his car. As expected, I saw his keys sitting on the console. I punched in the code, unlocked his door, cranked the engine, and moved his car to another parking spot. I then left my business card on the steering wheel, locked his car, & took off.

The next day when I talked to him, I think he wanted to kill me! He told me that he was walking out with another band member after the gig and he saw that his car wasn't where he left it. He said, "Chuck, somebody stole my car!!" Then he looked around a bit & saw his car. He discovered my card on the wheel, so he knew that I was the culprit. He was so relieved!!

We laughed about this for a long time!!

 

[Psychicpet]

LMAO @ all of it!

Chuck, that was way too funny man. Would've been priceless to see the look on the lady's face when the fact of the matter hit her

 

[adouglas]

Blondestar.

http://www.hoosierdaddy.com/Blondestar2004%20by%20Elic%20M.%20Thomas.If%20made%20youlaffpleasedonate$1tomypaypalact%[email protected]%20thanks.mp3

 

[azzy_wazzy]

Was she by any chance a blonde?

<ducking>

Grrrrr

I am ashamed of my blondeness.... do you guys think people would take me more seriously if I dyed my hair dark?

 

[adouglas]

Azzy....Never be ashamed of who you are!

Like all stereotypes, the dumb blonde thing is a load of rubbish that gets perpetuated by high-profile examples.

People who are as dumb as a bag o' hammers. Or a box o' rocks, take your pick.

To wit(less):

I'm sure you've got some examples over there in the UK as well!

 

[Big Poppa]

notice how adouglas haws these photos at the tips of his fingers.

Azzy dont worry about being blond...you never do anything stupid like jumpin...Imean your a lovely gal...

Serio;usly Azzy you brighten up this dump here and heres to trev garnering the courage not only get a guitar but to post here.

happy merry joy and all of the rot