Stupidity

[Golem]

Hello. My name is Golem, and I'm a stupi-holic. [Hello, Golem, and welcome to Stupi-holics Anonymous.] My personal stupid habit is to forget that guit@rs are not like like basses, and to grab them by the headstock and rip up my hands on all those stupid little sharp wires sticking out of all those stupid tiny tuning posts. But I have been clean for 3 weeks, two days, 9hrs, 3min, and 21.54 sec so far....

 

[Moondog]

Have you ever torqued pickguard
screws too much and raised the
finish near the screw hole?

Ever own a beautiful black corvette
and rip the front end off getting out
of the garage . . and almost bring
down the garage wall? yup

 

[Dr Stankface]

Have you ever torqued pickguard
screws too much and raised the
finish near the screw hole? ...QUOTE]

My SR5 actually came like that. So THAT'S what happened...

 

[Dr Stankface]

Have you ever been walking along with your upright bass slung on your shoulder (in the gig bag of course) and the strap breaks and your big ol' upright goes tumbling and breaks the seal between the neck and body? It also didn't help I cussed out the teacher that was laughing at me...

REALLY REALLY hate that.

Andrew

 

[adouglas]

Ever discover that you're using a 10 foot cord by trying to walk 11 feet away from your amp, thereby going dead quiet during a gig? (At least I didn't pull the amp over...it was close, though.)

Ever accidentally hit the little kill switch on your Planet Waves cable in the middle of a song, thereby going dead quiet during a gig?

Ever insufficiently engage the straplok on your upper strap button, causing your bass to enter free fall at an inopportune moment?

Ever done ALL THREE on the same night?



I HATE when that happens.

 

[skabassist13]

While eating lunch, have you ever dropped a cheeto so that it landed in between the button portion of your shirt so that you cant see it, and not notice till 10 minutes later when you go to the bathroom.

Have you ever fell asleep at school with your head on a backpack that you colored on with a vis-a-vis, drolled and got ink all over your face and not notice till a few hours later?


Hate that.

 

[Steve Dude Barr]

Have you ever pulled your bass over your head to "unstrap" it from yourself, only to put the headstock right through a ceiling fan?

Sorry to say...yes, several times.

 

[hankSRay]

Have you ever pulled your bass over your head to "unstrap" it from yourself, only to put the headstock right through a ceiling fan?

I acctually managed to knock into a light bulb. There was broken glass and alot less light for the rest of practice.

 

[pattiejay]

I acctually managed to knock into a light bulb. There was broken glass and alot less light for the rest of practice.

LOL!! OMG - i did EXACTLY the same thing!
except it was in my lounge room with more expensive lighting fixtures and an unimpressed mum

and the thing is i put a big dent right next to the light the day before...

 

[oddjob]

Ever had a crowd of beautiful women staring and smiling at you, only to find out that it wasn't you but your female lead singer they were interested in???

 

[Dr Stankface]

Ever had a crowd of beautiful women staring and smiling at you, only to find out that it wasn't you but your female lead singer they were interested in???

That's a straight kick in one's self-esteem.

 

[nspark]

Have you ever had someone fall off the stage into the orchestra pit and onto your $50,000 upright bass? My professor has

-Nick

 

[oddjob]

That's a straight kick in one's self-esteem.

kick is not the word I would use... but my singer bought the shot for the rest of the evening

 

[Lazybite]

Ever seen a bass player swing his bass under the chin of a singer and hook the singers neck chain around the machine heads and drag the singer around.... Saw that the other night.... very funny site

 

[roballanson]

Have you ever had someone fall off the stage into the orchestra pit and onto your $50,000 upright bass? My professor has

-Nick

Almost I had a very drunk punter at a jazz gig fall into the sax player who in tern fell on to my (fortunately not the 1920 English made baby) cheapo Hungarian double bass........I am now calling it art.
It was totalled but after the shock was pretty funny - very rock and roll for a jazz band.

 

[Steve Dude Barr]

Ever pinch your nipple in a door jam??

 

[roballanson]

Ever pinch your nipple in a door jam??

I only have a couple of questions about that....how and why????

 

[Psycho Ward]

Have you ever tried to show a woman how to swing a golf club by reaching around her from behind and your belt buckle got caught somehow in the back of her very expensive golf pants and you try to walk together to the clubhouse to get help and big dog jumps out from behind some bushes and throws a bucket of hot water on you?

I hate when that happens!

 

[Squozen]

I just remembered another incident, didn't happen to me but to a StingRay-playing guy in a local Melbourne band. They were having some kind of celebration gig (maybe a CD launch, I can't recall) and they had all sorts of fairy lights and chasers around the stage. Anyhow, halfway through the gig the bass player reaches down to one of the strings of lights, and I thought 'Oo, I wouldn't touch those, they look a bit shoddy'.

Next thing you know, big sparks, half the lights on the stage go out and the guy falls flat on his arse... 240V just passed right through him and then into his bass and on to his amp. He landed so hard that the jack running into the bass was bent at 90º, but being a Music Man, it kept on trucking once he'd had a couple of minutes to recover.

 

[philthygeezer]

I just remembered another incident, didn't happen to me but to a StingRay-playing guy in a local Melbourne band. They were having some kind of celebration gig (maybe a CD launch, I can't recall) and they had all sorts of fairy lights and chasers around the stage. Anyhow, halfway through the gig the bass player reaches down to one of the strings of lights, and I thought 'Oo, I wouldn't touch those, they look a bit shoddy'.

Next thing you know, big sparks, half the lights on the stage go out and the guy falls flat on his arse... 240V just passed right through him and then into his bass and on to his amp. He landed so hard that the jack running into the bass was bent at 90º, but being a Music Man, it kept on trucking once he'd had a couple of minutes to recover.