Oct 5, 2005
5:56 A.M.
NORWALK, CT, US
OUT FOR DELIVERY
3:00 A.M.
NORWALK, CT, US
ARRIVAL SCAN
2:17 A.M.
STRATFORD, CT, US
DEPARTURE SCAN
Nail chew, nail chew, nail chew, nervous tic, nervous tic, nervous tic....
MEMORANDUM
From: adouglas
To: The Boss
Re: Productivity on Wednesday, October 5
Due to the side effects of a severe GAS attack, my effectiveness and productivity will be severely hampered today. Symptoms of the disease are acute, but transitory, and I should be back to normal tomorrow.
The expected symptoms include compulsive checking of clocks, frequent visits to the loading dock, sudden distraction at the sound of delivery trucks, severely shortened attention span, doodling of odd shapes on writing pads and a general disconnection from reality (even moreso than usual).
Thank you for your understanding. This is a debilitating condition that I have no control over. I do not expect it to impact on the deadlines I'm facing this week.