- Thread starter Dr Stankface
- Start date
Bass-sic
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2005
- Messages
- 266
Oh my gosh....that is Hilarious!
adouglas
Well-known member
Nope. Cabin pressure is lower than sea level. IIRC it's equivalent to about 8,000 feet.
Which is why your ears pop. If it were the same as sea level, they wouldn't.
Freddels
Well-known member
Don't take your shoes off!!
For the travel size toothpaste, make sure you get the ones with the antifreeze in 'em.
For the travel size toothpaste, make sure you get the ones with the antifreeze in 'em.
ImABassPlayer
Member
What ever you do, do not open the windows. 
What ever you do, do not open the windows.
...but what if there is a gremlin on the engine?????
I do this, load up my iPod Vid with futurama or pinky and the brain, ask for a cup of ice and doze off untill someone tells me were getting ready to land.
RitchieDarling
Well-known member
Aw, man....Someone killed my post.
maddog
Well-known member
bring KY or Vaseline. Your preference. TSA isn't that picky.
Stanky, look for the faded emblems of soda cans on the outside of the aircraft. That's what they're made out of. Also, make sure you're not over any residential areas when you flush the toilet. It's only courteous.
Freddels
Well-known member
bring KY or Vaseline. Your preference. TSA isn't that picky.
Oh yeah, that's another reason why you won't want to put all your weight in the seat.
Sky Mall has a wide range of attractive Christmas present options. If you're shopping for me, please buy the Remote Spider Smasher + Vaccuum device. I need me one of those things...
My favorite is sedative-induced Duty Free shopping sprees on international flights.
My favorite is sedative-induced Duty Free shopping sprees on international flights.
Psycho Ward
Well-known member
And if you want real service, call the stewardesses/ (now called) flight attendants... “waitresses”, that’ll speed things up! And, if you take off your shoes and the face masks fall down, put your shoes back on!
Also, advise them if you’re an officer with Star Fleet… extra peanuts baby!
Also, advise them if you’re an officer with Star Fleet… extra peanuts baby!
Aussie Mark
Well-known member
For comfort, get a window seat. That way, you can put a pillow on the wall and have a snooze without worrying about leaning on the fat guys sitting on each side of you. Although if you enjoy stewardesses and aforementioned fat guys rubbing their asses on your shoulder or ear every time they walk past, you may prefer an aisle seat.
Sigmunds Couch
Well-known member
OK, I have never flown either but am trying to conjure up an image here. You guys are sayin' a plane gets way up high in the sky and everybody sitting in rather close proximity to one another starts farting the place up. Yum, makes me think oh boy what's on the menu today
As said - a difference in pressure. Think of a ballon. If you blow it up and don't tie it off all the air escapes. To reach equalibrium - higher pressure to a lower pressure. At 30,000 feet - your colon has just become that ballon.....
For entertainment value - blow up a ballon on the ground or put a latex surgical glove on your head. By the time you get to cruising altitude it'll be enormous....
If your not opposed to being loud and inappropriate - eat a huge mexican meal with plenty of beans, chase it down with lots of soda and beer. Bythe time you hit 20,000 feet you'll swear you've got an intestinal poltergiest trying to claw its way out of your body.
mbgreene
Well-known member
Since they are so used to getting hit on, female flight attendants can be somewhat aloof and unapproachable.
If you're a little nervous and lucky enough to get a male flight attendant, you can approach him in a private moment and ask him for any reassurances you may need. You may offer to give him your cell phone number and ask him to provide you an early heads up to any situations that suddenly arise during the flight.
You might also mention that you're new to the high flying lifestyle and wouldn't mind a discreet tour of the cabin to understand the all the ins and outs - and so as not to disturb the other passengers.
Have a good flight
If you're a little nervous and lucky enough to get a male flight attendant, you can approach him in a private moment and ask him for any reassurances you may need. You may offer to give him your cell phone number and ask him to provide you an early heads up to any situations that suddenly arise during the flight.
You might also mention that you're new to the high flying lifestyle and wouldn't mind a discreet tour of the cabin to understand the all the ins and outs - and so as not to disturb the other passengers.
Have a good flight
Big Poppa
Well-known member
Aw, man....Someone killed my post.
Ritchie a swing and a miss....really not appropriate for an international forum...
I still love you but ditch the frowny face.....
Big Poppa
Well-known member
Make sure that when the movie starts the you keep hyour window up and all lights on..people love that effect
AnthonyD
Well-known member
Great advice in here - I'll try to add to or reinforce what's already been posted:
Water - drink it before and during the flight and stay hydrated. Now this may conflict with the window seat advice if you're back and forth to the restroom multiple times during the flight.
Seat - Exit row is the prime Coach seat for a bit more leg room. Window seats are great for snoozing and gazing. Given this is your first flight, I suspect you'll appreciate the view. Aisle seats afford a bit more elbow room (on one side), but that same elbow room comes with the constant fear of losing your elbow (or knee, or foot) to an aisle cart that always seems to rumble by with little disregard for any impediments to it's forward motion. Avoid the middle seat, unless you want to make friends.
Gum - or sucking candies - have lots and keep it going, especially on take-off and landing. The changes in pressure can be very uncomfortable in the ears and the chewing and swallowing will help.
Hands - wash them as soon as you deplane. Lord knows what you might have picked-up being confined in a closed space with so many folks breathing each others recirculated air for hours.
Turbulence - ignore it. keep your seat belt fastened while seated (however loosely you'd like) and just relax. Plane may bump and bounce at times - doesn't mean it'll lose a wing.
Most importantly, enjoy the experience and have a safe trip!
Water - drink it before and during the flight and stay hydrated. Now this may conflict with the window seat advice if you're back and forth to the restroom multiple times during the flight.
Seat - Exit row is the prime Coach seat for a bit more leg room. Window seats are great for snoozing and gazing. Given this is your first flight, I suspect you'll appreciate the view. Aisle seats afford a bit more elbow room (on one side), but that same elbow room comes with the constant fear of losing your elbow (or knee, or foot) to an aisle cart that always seems to rumble by with little disregard for any impediments to it's forward motion. Avoid the middle seat, unless you want to make friends.
Gum - or sucking candies - have lots and keep it going, especially on take-off and landing. The changes in pressure can be very uncomfortable in the ears and the chewing and swallowing will help.
Hands - wash them as soon as you deplane. Lord knows what you might have picked-up being confined in a closed space with so many folks breathing each others recirculated air for hours.
Turbulence - ignore it. keep your seat belt fastened while seated (however loosely you'd like) and just relax. Plane may bump and bounce at times - doesn't mean it'll lose a wing.
Most importantly, enjoy the experience and have a safe trip!
