A Visit To Guitar Center

[bovinehost]

Location: LBJ Freeway
Time: mid-afternoon
Day of Week: Saturday
Final Thought Before Entering: "GC on a Saturday? I'm insane."

I wander in and find the bass area. Surprise! A supremely untalented skater teen is using his fist or something to beat the strings of some pointy headed abomination. I believe his fretting hand was also formed into a fist. Okay, so he was new to bass.

I scan the hooks. Fender, Fender, Ibanez, a few OLPs, some Ibanez. Wait, where are all the EBMMs? I see one lone SUB. I don't want to play a SUB! Well, I'm already there, so I try out an Ibanez Artcore hollowbody something or another which looks like this and is on clearance for 3 bills. Not bad. Nice looking pickup, heh heh. If I wanted a cheap hollowbody, I'd buy this. Needs flats, for sure. Skate-Wank gives up and lets me plug it in. Cool. No competition for the Bongo, but something different.

I wander out of the bass area and set up two Korg synths so that they're more or less fighting with each other. Jeremy is fiddling with the keys, but respectfully, because he already knows how I feel about banging on stuff. Suddenly, without warning, just like in one of those Jacques Coustea films, Paul (smallequestrian) appears. I complain about the lack of EBMM basses. He shows me to a 'secret room' where the 'good stuff' is kept.

Who knew? This is a very, very good idea. It's quiet in there, except for another wanker who gives up soon after we enter.

Smart guy. I grab the SR4 HH because it's closest and the setup is not quite right, a little clanky, but it's workable. After the Lone Wanker gives up the amp, I plug it in, much better but still weird. It sounds....off. I say to Paul, "Remind me to never buy one of these cabinets."

Then I notice the amp. Aiiyyyy, holy crap. NO MIDS. NONE. Ugly damned smiley face scoop on the EQ. Trable maxed. Bass DIMED. All kinds of wanky buttons are depressed.

Once I get that all flat, the bass sounds wonderful and the clanky setup on the G string is not so bad. (I would have fixed it, but no tools and it ain't my bass.) Paul hands me the 'burst SR5 HH and now I'm stoked.

Dang, boys. Them's good basses.

That is all.

Jack

 

[Psycho Ward]

Sounds like a fun trip Jack. Me and the missus went to the Chamber of Commerce dinner tonight, black tie affair, but the food was good. I seen a fat guy play sax, that was about it…

 

[bovinehost]

I felt a LITTLE bad because I was bitchin' about that amp, "Who the hell..." and so on when I discovered how it was adjusted....and the guy who probably adjusted it was sitting right there.

I'm usually more diplomatic, you know?

 

[AnthonyD]

Assuming "the guy" didn't have an EBMM plugged in...

 

[Figjam]

Everytime i hear about how good the HH basses are i get even more stoked for my HH SR5.

 

[Father Gino]

I'm usually more diplomatic, you know?

Don't feel so bad. Even the real Kissinger couldn't get us out of Vietnam quite like he wanted. We all slip up sometimes.

I know where the secret room is in my local GC and they still have nothing new there. They don't even have a single Bongo or a fretless MM anything. Come to think of it, there were only three fretli of any description and one was the supremely absurd Jaco distressed memorial bass for $3K or so. If they don't get some new MM stuff there soon, I'm never, ever goin' back. Then they'll be sorry!!!!!!

Actually, if they've taken any notice of me at all, they've noticed that all I do there is wander around looking like I deperately need some Tums and never buy anything.

 

[Rayan]

Hey, I gotta justify my Phat GC Paycheck here !

Location: LBJ Freeway
Time: mid-afternoon
Day of Week: Saturday
Final Thought Before Entering: "GC on a Saturday? I'm insane."

***
I scan the hooks. Fender, Fender, Ibanez, a few OLPs, some Ibanez. Wait, where are all the EBMMs? I see one lone SUB. I don't want to play a SUB! ...
I wander out of the bass area and set up two Korg synths so that they're more or less fighting with each other. ...
***


***
(smallequestrian) appears. I complain about the lack of EBMM basses. He shows me to a 'secret room' where the 'good stuff' is kept.
Who knew? This is a very, very good idea. It's quiet in there, except for another wanker who gives up soon after we enter.
***

Smart guy. I grab the SR4 HH because it's closest and the setup is not quite right, a little clanky, but it's workable.


***
Then I notice the amp. ... All kinds of wanky buttons are depressed.
Once I get that all flat, the bass sounds wonderful and the clanky setup on the G string is not so bad.
***

Paul hands me the 'burst SR5 HH and now I'm stoked. Dang, boys. Them's good basses. That is all. ... Jack

~
OK ... so I'm the 'Top, Secret' GC @$$whipper and I wanna know from your posiiton as an *Expert Client* ...
- How Can I Better Serve you *Good Sir*, who seemingly has motivation, money and sufficient MM Madness to shop, on the spot, *if* I make *All* the *Right Moves* *Real Slick & Kwick* ???

Or, (R U just another glorified wanker killin' time on a Sat PM while yer honey's doin' her shift 'peelin' for pennies' over at the LBJ saloon) ???
~
Hey, Man!
- I'm just doin' my job !!!
/R

 

[Tom F]

You know, I'm feeling a little left out because none of the local guitargets have put a HH fiver on the shelf yet. I've only seen a HH 4 a couple times, too. Granted, from my experience the bass kicked serious butt, but I'd love to play a dual pickup fiver! Of course, I could just wait for mine to show up, but what fun is that?

I'm also feeling left out because I don't have a secret room to try out basses. They make me play them out on the floor with everybody else!

Very brave of you to visit a GC on a Saturday just to be a more informed salesmonkey, Jack. Very brave!

 

[usedtobeachacha]

i know what you mean about GC. I actually bought my Bongo there. The sale was quite rediculous and couldn't be passed up for a 5, saphire black, dual pickeups, plus piezos! There's one just down the street from me. I hate the place though. i mean the day i got the bongo i also bought a brand new GK 210 combo. These cat i bought it off was loaded for the week and he doesn't even say thanks! its pretty sad, the one near me in SF has the "Secret room" too. There's HOfners in there going for 10,000. If they'd only known back then.......DBH

 

[bovinehost]

Good point about Kissinger, but I'm supposed to have learned from his mistakes.

What would make me buy an EBMM bass at Guitar Center? Well - some sort of neurological disease, I guess. I mean, nothing personal against GC, but I know someone who can get me a deal.

Actually, if I must praise the competition, inasmuch as I can be said to compete with GC, hah, they are doing a wonderful job at this location. The Secret Good Bass Stuff Room is quite nice - and soundproofed. I couldn't even hear the fat guy doing his impression of Leslie West having a seizure on a 9 ft Marshall Stack.

There were plenty of EBMM basses. Sterlings, Bongos, SR4s and SR5s. Not all of them in the standard GC color scheme, either. Indeed, I saw a Carbon Blue Pearl Bongo! Kudos to the bass guy, whoever he may be.

Tom, the fiver kicked me in the butt. I flipped the switch all the way to the bridge position and whoom. Just what I expected, really, but still a nice surprise - sounded like Heinz, albeit with roundwounds.

I do want to explore the other things it will do, even if I am obviously a Bongo player. For which I do not apologize, mind you.

I am in a position, in fact, to get my next bass, but I really don't know what to do. I'm a Bongo player! I know this! But part of me thinks long and hard about a dual H SR5 because.....well, because I should have one.

But I'll end up with another Bongo to replace the single H that TKarter is getting from me. I'm pretty sure, anyway.

the torn,
Jack

 

[Rayan]

Batter Than A Kack An Tha @$$, A' Gu@$$

... What would make me buy an EBMM bass at Guitar Center? Well - some sort of neurological disease, I guess. I mean, nothing personal against GC, but I know someone who can get me a deal.

Actually, if I must praise the competition, inasmuch as I can be said to compete with GC, hah, they are doing a wonderful job at this location. The Secret Good Bass Stuff Room is quite nice - and soundproofed. I couldn't even hear the fat guy doing his impression of Leslie West having a seizure on a 9 ft Marshall Stack.

There were plenty of EBMM basses. Sterlings, Bongos, SR4s and SR5s. Not all of them in the standard GC color scheme, either. Indeed, I saw a Carbon Blue Pearl Bongo! Kudos to the bass guy, whoever he may be. ... Jack

~
Hey Thanx Mister,
I get to keep my job until "It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere" ...
An I dig yer ol'lady 2 ... I caught her act for supper last night !!!
~
/R

 

[tkarter]

All I know is that an EB bass will work and sound good with any bass amp and quite a few guitar amps.

You know that too Jack. You just have been thinking about other things and it slipped your mind for a bit.


tk

 

[bovinehost]

Oh, it's never far from my mind, Tom, nevah!

I knew from playing the prototypes that these were monsters, but through the little listening stations....hard to know exactly what they sound like. The GC I went to last week was a pain. This visit was much better, but there was never any doubt the basses would kill.

I just have to figure out how to get one to play with for a while.

 

[tkarter]

Can't help you out with playing one awhile Jack. I have never held a Bongo LOL

tk

 

[bovinehost]

I have never held a Bongo

Well, part of my mission in life is to get as many Bongos as possible into as many hands as possible. Sometimes it's just an 'influence' issue and sometimes I'm actually a part of the physical process.

Either way makes me happy.

In your case, I claim both influence and physical process! What could be better?

I expect your SR5 dedication to remain as it is, 'strong and true', but you'll have a very different tone at your disposal, too.

This is fun.

Jack

 

[tkarter]

Life is good

tk

 

[smallequestrian]

Happy to be of service Jack. You should have heard the two wankers that were in there before I ran into you. One guy had this awful five string Musicman ripoff and the other had a Warwank of some sort, and they were both sitting there kinda trying to slap some Tool or something on the 'B' string. Please lets slap the 'B' string, because that just sounds terrific on your horribly EQ'd rig. It sounded like crap on a stick smells.

 

[tkarter]

Happy to be of service Jack. You should have heard the two wankers that were in there before I ran into you. One guy had this awful five string Musicman ripoff and the other had a Warwank of some sort, and they were both sitting there kinda trying to slap some Tool or something on the 'B' string. Please lets slap the 'B' string, because that just sounds terrific on your horribly EQ'd rig. It sounded like crap on a stick smells.

Don't you understand most of the good music has already been written.

tk

 

[bovinehost]

they were both sitting there kinda trying to slap some Tool

I've given this some thought and have concluded that slapping some Tool should really be done in private.

Although I would give my GC experience, overall, a thumbs up, I was awfully glad to see you, Paul. I was definitely a fish out of water there.

The bad news is that Jeremy, aged four, now wants a Korg workstation.

 

[shamus63]

The bad news is that Jeremy, aged four, now wants a Korg workstation.

A child prodigy, maybe?