I am obsessed with getting a Bongo

[Mogee]

there will be no help from me.

easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Been down that road several times.

 

[b-unit]

This is not an uncommon situation I can assure you. I have been married for almost 12 years and my wife and I had some pretty heated arguments over my "hobby" over the years. Yes, she knew when she married me that I loved gear and would always want to buy stuff but your home life soon becomes a priority in many ways.

having said that, you're wants and desires in life are valid and must be taken into account in a relationship if you are going to be happy. That doesn't mean you can necessarily have new gear any time you want it but if there is something you truly desire, and are willing to make some sacrifices to aquire it, then there should be a way to work out a plan to buy it.

Years ago I used to go to the local music store and look at the Ernie Ball basses on the wall and rack my brains to think of a way to afford one. Eventually I convinced my wife to split a tax return one year and each of us could buy whatever we wanted. I took my cash and bought a cheapo 5 string which was ok for awhile but did nothing to cure my GAS for a Stingray.

Eventually kids came along, then a mortgage and then a big career change. I made a deal with my wife that if I made it through the training I was doing at the time, I would buy myself the bass of my dreams. She laughed at the time and agreed. I made it through the training, got the new career and we were flagt broke for the next 4 years!!!

But finally I realized that I was not going to be happy until I had the instrument I really wanted. I ended up trading in both basses that I had, spent a bit more and finally in 2006, brought home my Stingray5. I tell you it was so worth it. i was in love and felt a huge sense of satisfaction as it had seemed like forever, that I wanted this bass.

In late 2007 I managed to buy a Stingray4 and am going to be closing out this year with my first Bongo which is due to arrive any day.

Things have worked out with my wife in the sense that she understands that this crazy obsession is important to me and if there is a way to buy myself some quality gear here and there without disrupting our finances too much, it keeps me happy and not feeling like I am being ripped off in life.

Sorry for the rant but try to get away from the sneaky gear buying habits that many of us have partaken in and just be honest with your wife and a little patient and you will find that it usually works out in the end. She wants you to be happy and we all know there are a lot worse "hobbies" we could be involved in!

 

[cellkirk74]

The Camp Bovine Method:

1. Build up a reasonable stash of instruments, maybe ten or so.

2. Spend years trading and buying and selling, so that she becomes used to boxes coming and going.

3. Never leave all of them out at one time.

4. After a while, she will lose track of what you have and stop worrying about it.

This is what helped for me. And storing a lot of basses very close to one another makes them look less... I think she realizes every new bass I buy and lets me go on as long as I sell something.

I think the one in- one out-principle is a good deal. But kids and family come first.

 

[Powman]

wow is this a study in strangeness between the sexes? Wow again.

Powman I think that you shouldnt sell your company stock to buy a bass....that is your nest egg...if anything take some of that stock and invest n other safe stock and diversify....I am not a financial advisor and do whatever you do at your own risk.

Be honest in your desire for another bass and its cost. Take your time and show her that it isnt a passing fancy and something that will make you happy. THat is the best start.

It is fascinating, isn't it? The unmarried guys don't get it...some of the married guys probably read Gene Simmons book Sex, Money, and Kiss and managed to set up their relationship correctly from the start, and then there's final and larger group of poor married schmucks who need permission to buy toys.

Anyhow, the company stock is not my retirement fund...its just extra income really. I can wipe out a whole bunch of other debts as well.

I will have a nice sit down with the Mrs when she gets back from Florida.

Thanks BP.

By the way, was there something wrong with the site last night? I couldnt log on.

 

[Powman]

hehe.. i tried to sneak in 2 basses that looked the same, but one of them was fretless..

one day she looks at the bass and starts stroking the neck.. and then goes.. hey, no metal things on this one?? do you have 2 of it???

so i was busted and had to watch her go out the door on a shopping spree with my mastercard..

morale of the story is: be sure she doesnt check your forum posts in addition to being smart

MrM

Yup, I did the same thing with my Markbass stuff. I didn't think she would notice. Thats why I cant sneak anymore stuff in, I have used up my chances. Its honesty and permission from now on.

 

[Powman]

Hmm, maybe my advice was poor. Definitely listen to these guys who know what they're talking about. I'm not planning on marrying any time soon

But I stand by my other comment.

The question is, will she notice a rosewood Stealth? It's probably safer to go for the ebony variant.

For the unmarried guys, please read fellow bass player Gene Simmons book Sex Money and Kiss. Yes, it is quite funny at times. But he has some seriously good advice in other parts. I hate Kiss, but I am a huge admirer of Gene Simmons. He is quite brilliant.

So Duarte, I am not saying not t get married, but do set some ground rules first. Like a little bit of freedom to pursue your hobbies.

 

[Powman]

The Camp Bovine Method:

1. Build up a reasonable stash of instruments, maybe ten or so.

2. Spend years trading and buying and selling, so that she becomes used to boxes coming and going.

3. Never leave all of them out at one time.

4. After a while, she will lose track of what you have and stop worrying about it.

Yeah, I got that way with my fishing gear. 10 rods and 6 reels, she can't tell anymore.

Not there yet with basses, but some day, some day...

 

[Powman]

The rule of the house by me is one in and one out, and I've been through 19 so far. I currently own 3 basses, one guitar. A fretless SX and SX strat, a certain bass for some maiden covers the band performs (3-4 songs a night), and my Beloved Stingray. The most I've ever told the other half a bass cost was $900.

I know what you mean about sneaking in a Bongo, as I've been trying to cook up a plan myself in the near future. I've used this justification for the Stingray, "X amount of gigs will pay for it." In the end you have to buy something for her.

I wish you much luck in this endeavor.

I don't get paid for my gigs yet. The closest I came to getting paid was 3 weeks ago. My band played and we got free beer and wings all night long. Which is still not bad...

 

[Powman]

My only job is as a full-time player and I am fortunate enough to have the support, encouragement and blessings from my wife and parents. They understand that not only is my equipment the "tools of my trade" but that I have a passion for them that equals my passion for music.
My wife bought me a bass as a wedding present and she also bought me basses as first and second anniversary presents. My parents bought me an acoustic/electric bass as a birthday present that I needed for an "unplugged" gig. This Christmas both my wife and parents are jointly paying for a bass for me.
That being said, I understand that everyone's situation is different. Making your loved ones feel like they're a part of your passion and of your decision making process brings you closer together and will hopefully help them to understand it better. And what wonderful gifts these make, they will truly feel your appreciation and gratitude towards their generosity and you will always think of them when you play their gift(s). Showing that you are financially responsible by either asking for them as gifts or for asking for financial help in purchasing one allows them to gain respect towards you in regards to financial priorities.
I must also add that I have sold basses to get new ones, demonstrating a willingness to sacrifice; neither my parents nor my wife and I are rich!
My wife wants me to include that she feels a bond between us that is created when I am playing a bass that she either bought or helped to buy whether she's in attendance or not. If I take one of these basses to a gig that she cannot attend, it's as if she's there with me.
Being honest is by far the best advice, it has been hugely instrumental (double meaning intended) in bringing about MY current situation.

I am not a pro...I just am very passionate about my hobbies...So our situations are different. You have far more justification for several basses than I.

But I can't get that Bongo tone out of my head!! It was so rich, thick, fat bottom. Arrrgh!! Why did I ever pick one up and play it?? Why????

 

[Powman]

BP is a wise man. If you are rolling in cash then that is one thing. If you need to sell stock from your employee purchase plan, that is another (don't forget the tax bite from this sale). I love musical instruments and I have lusted after many. Been married for a long time and I always run a sizable purchase past my wife (she does the same). Was a necessity in the early years when things were lean. Reasonable financial security feels better than a pile of consumer goods. Use layaway rather than a credit card. Maybe save gig money to pay for the bass?

Sorry for the buzz kill.

No, thats cool! I need some sane advice.

I am not rolling in cash this year...pay went down in a big way due to economy but I still have my job!

I already paid taxes on the stock. It is included as part of my income every year, whether or not I cash it.

And I don't get gig money yet, but I am working on it. Two bars expressed interest in hiring my band!

Layaway and patience is the only way I am going to get this bass. I will talk to the wife soon...and I will let everyone know the outcome!

 

[Powman]

have you considered a used bongo? that might ease up the quest for $$$ (sorry in advance if this was mentioned before, as i read the thread rather quickly).

Anyway, bongo + sterling, i like the sound of that combo.

good luck in you journey

I have no problem with used stuff if I can see it and inspect it first. But I am really nervous about buying used gear off the internet ebay etc. I have heard too many horror stories and people getting burnt badly.

I have yet to see a used Bongo in person, only on the internet.

What protection do I have if someone sells me a POS?

 

[tkarter]

I have been married 33 years. My wife has as much say in how our finances are spent as I do.

I have 2 bongos and the SR5. I waited on the bongos. She bought me the SR5 for a birthday present.

I find the basses I waited to buy and wanted and waited so long for tend to be keepers. Also I have noticed they aren't able to keep me warm on a cold winter night.

The wife didn't think I really needed a Bongo 6. I got lucky and went to CA to the forum party and got to play with one and she noticed the difference in it to the one I had and also my sheer joy at having that bongo 6 in my hands.

I got to order one right after that. Saved my money up. (beer money)

Got the Bongo 6 and still have a happy wife.


Nothing is better in this world than a good woman that let's a gent be himself.

All the bongos in the world could not replace the wife.

So be patient. is my advice to you. Or get BP to call your wife and tell her the bongo is going out of production.


tk

 

[Powman]

I have been married 33 years. My wife has as much say in how our finances are spent as I do.

I have 2 bongos and the SR5. I waited on the bongos. She bought me the SR5 for a birthday present.

I find the basses I waited to buy and wanted and waited so long for tend to be keepers. Also I have noticed they aren't able to keep me warm on a cold winter night.

The wife didn't think I really needed a Bongo 6. I got lucky and went to CA to the forum party and got to play with one and she noticed the difference in it to the one I had and also my sheer joy at having that bongo 6 in my hands.

I got to order one right after that. Saved my money up. (beer money)

Got the Bongo 6 and still have a happy wife.


Nothing is better in this world than a good woman that let's a gent be himself.

All the bongos in the world could not replace the wife.

So be patient. is my advice to you. Or get BP to call your wife and tell her the bongo is going out of production.


tk

For sure! I hope I haven't given the impression my wife is mean...far from it, she's awesome. She puts up with me!

The advice I was seeking is from similarly married guys who have two loves...Their family first of course, then bass guitars.

So far, it has been excellent and I thank you all.

 

[DaddyFlip]

The problem is my wife will flip if I got a Bongo.

But the wifey will flip...How can I convince her???

Send her to the DaddyFlip... I'll talk her into it.

 

[Powman]

Send her to the DaddyFlip... I'll talk her into it.

Just talk, right?

 

[tkarter]

Most wives are patient with impatient husbands.

tk

 

[azzy_wazzy]

We are in a similar situation - except I am the wife and the one wanting a Bongo! In our case because the hubster plays guitar it's not quite as problematic, but I completely agree with the advice to be honest and upfront with your wife. I'd be, less than impressed, is the polite way to put it, if Trev just went out and did it.

You've had very sound advice from a number of people. Take it

 

[danny-79]

No coment from myslf!, ment to be going back to denver in january if i dont blow my cash on on a very nice 4HH im looking at,If buy it an it might just be the last guitar i buy!!! dont buy it an gonna kick myslf forever.....????!!!!....????!!! etc etc ... .... follow your instincts!!! NO DONT DO THAT EITHER!!! ... sorry cant help

 

[Powman]

We are in a similar situation - except I am the wife and the one wanting a Bongo! In our case because the hubster plays guitar it's not quite as problematic, but I completely agree with the advice to be honest and upfront with your wife. I'd be, less than impressed, is the polite way to put it, if Trev just went out and did it.

You've had very sound advice from a number of people. Take it

Thanks AW! Honesty (as much as any husband can muster up) is what I will use.

 

[DaddyFlip]

Just talk, right?

Of course; just a play on words. I saw my handle and couldn't resist. This is just a forum, after all. I am sometimes persuasive.

You have it easy. I got the Bongo first, THEN had to explain why I needed a 25th! I am preparing my thesis on why I need a Big AL.