Off topic..but I just had to say WTF

[LeftyLB]

WOW!!!

I take two days off work to spend time with the kids and thread of the century happens.

Fellow Forum buddies, this topic is very close to my heart. I was brought up by very strict parents - especially my mum, and we often got a good slap across the legs, and on the very rare occasion, when I was in my early teens, she lost it a bit too much and I got a couple of kicks from her - but all in all we had a loving and enjoyable upbringing.

I always said that I would have no trouble with giving my children a good slap if deserved, because the usual it did me not harm and I turned out alright.......

BUT, the reality of it is, now that I have three girls, currently aged 5,4 and 20 months, I hate the thought of touching them and have only slapped them on very rare occasions.

For instance we were in the kitchen at the weekend and next thing we heard an almighty bang and found the 20month old lying at the bottom of the stairs. Her four year old sister was peering down from the top and I ran straight up to her and asked what had happened. "I pushed her" I can't say hand on heart that I was 100% in control, but I had to give her a whack across the back of the legs. The shock that I did it probably hurt more and probably was the more effective because I cannot remember hitting her before, but my wife and I always agreed that we would only slap the kids if they had done something dangerous.

Saying that, I have three beautiful kids and they are all bright and confident and cheeky, but so far, they know how far they can push it and all know the meaning of right and wrong (well the older two obviously).

I worry continually about trying to find the balance between not hitting them and being able to instil discipline and respect.

I think that being Catholics and going to church every Sunday also helps because the two of them are probably more scared of what will happen if they upset "Holy God" than they are of upsetting their parents.

I want happy, confident, charismatic children who will grow up to try to live as good a life as they can. We have to take each day as it comes and then wait for the day when my eldest at the age of eleven brings home her 14 year old eminem look-a-like boyfriend for tea!!!!

If you bothered to read all this, thanks for your patience, this forum is much cheaper than therapy or parent support groups!

Best of luck

Liam

 

[LeftyLB]

WOW!!!

I take two days off work to spend time with the kids and thread of the century happens.

Fellow Forum buddies, this topic is very close to my heart. I was brought up by very strict parents - especially my mum, and we often got a good slap across the legs, and on the very rare occasion, when I was in my early teens, she lost it a bit too much and I got a couple of kicks from her - but all in all we had a loving and enjoyable upbringing.

I always said that I would have no trouble with giving my children a good slap if deserved, because the usual it did me not harm and I turned out alright.......

BUT, the reality of it is, now that I have three girls, currently aged 5,4 and 20 months, I hate the thought of touching them and have only slapped them on very rare occasions.

For instance we were in the kitchen at the weekend and next thing we heard an almighty bang and found the 20month old lying at the bottom of the stairs. Her four year old sister was peering down from the top and I ran straight up to her and asked what had happened. "I pushed her" I can't say hand on heart that I was 100% in control, but I had to give her a whack across the back of the legs. The shock that I did it probably hurt more and probably was the more effective because I cannot remember hitting her before, but my wife and I always agreed that we would only slap the kids if they had done something dangerous.

Saying that, I have three beautiful kids and they are all bright and confident and cheeky, but so far, they know how far they can push it and all know the meaning of right and wrong (well the older two obviously).

I worry continually about trying to find the balance between not hitting them and being able to instil discipline and respect.

I think that being Catholics and going to church every Sunday also helps because the two of them are probably more scared of what will happen if they upset "Holy God" than they are of upsetting their parents.

I want happy, confident, charismatic children who will grow up to try to live as good a life as they can. We have to take each day as it comes and then wait for the day when my eldest at the age of eleven brings home her 14 year old eminem look-a-like boyfriend for tea!!!!

If you bothered to read all this, thanks for your patience, this forum is much cheaper than therapy or parent support groups!

Best of luck

Liam

God, I only dropped the family off to the airport 3 hours ago and I won't see them for three weeks and I talking about them already! - This is going to be a long three weeks!

At least I get to spend as much time with Stingray and new GK rig every night!!! Ha ha!!!

 

[tkarter]

As a rule I would say whacking a child does nothing after about age 10 to change a child's behavior. I believe a smack now and then does show the younger children the limits and wrongs of what they have done.

tk

 

[TheAntMan]

As a rule I would say whacking a child does nothing after about age 10 to change a child's behavior. I believe a smack now and then does show the younger children the limits and wrongs of what they have done.

tk

I agree.

It must be done early (varies by child, parent will know when), when you tell them, "No", and they are looking at you while trying to continue doing the forbidden act, that is when a single well placed smack on the hand, leg or butt is the most effective. It teaches them that there are consequences for their actions. And that you mean what you say. A very important thing for everyone to learn.

 

[cgworkman]

As a rule I would say whacking a child does nothing after about age 10 to change a child's behavior. I believe a smack now and then does show the younger children the limits and wrongs of what they have done.

tk

I agree.

 

[Mantaray]

God, I only dropped the family off to the airport 3 hours ago and I won't see them for three weeks and I talking about them already! - This is going to be a long three weeks!
QUOTE]


I'm glad that you have such a great family. The truth is that in London I wonder everyday from what I see about the families that live here. I'm tired of seeing reports in the papers about young children drug abuses and fatalities, pregnancies, sexual diseases etc. Believe me, I feel sick every friday or saturday night when I see young boys and girls out of a bloody club with their eyes yellow from what they snorted a minute ago. All these are signals of an unhealthy society, and this is unhealthy entertainment. But the families play a major role in this. If they don't give a s**t about the problems of their children especially in their tender age, how the hell they can expect them to be psychologically and emotionally balanced?
I believe that you will give the best guidelines to your children especially because you have great experience in night(and all its hazards) and entertainment(music).
All the best!

 

[midopa]

Hehheh. Here's my sad story:

My parents, in terms of actually raising and my brothers and I, have failed miserably. Maybe that's why I'm the weirdo/cheeseball I am. They are the typical Asian parents - they work hard to provide food and shelter, but that's it. Now they're old and starting to burn out; I can kinda see them lose their grip and power over the family. It seems like they're starting to not care anymore. It ain't pretty so I don't want to bother you guys with anymore details.

Anyway, I end up having to distribute the discipline, be it verbal (talks or all-out thrashing) or physical, to my brothers myself. It's not fun, especially when one is a cute little kid and the other is a teenager full of angst. But, yes, these kids need to be pointed in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a good smack.

 

[Mantaray]

Hehheh. Here's my sad story:

My parents, in terms of actually raising and my brothers and I, have failed miserably. Maybe that's why I'm the weirdo/cheeseball I am. They are the typical Asian parents - they work hard to provide food and shelter, but that's it. Now they're old and starting to burn out; I can kinda see them lose their grip and power over the family. It seems like they're starting to not care anymore. It ain't pretty so I don't want to bother you guys with anymore details.

Anyway, I end up having to distribute the discipline, be it verbal (talks or all-out thrashing) or physical, to my brothers myself. It's not fun, especially when one is a cute little kid and the other is a teenager full of angst. But, yes, these kids need to be pointed in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a good smack.

It is a great resposibility the one you've taken, but it is worth it.

 

[armybass]

People always tell me how great my kids are and how they wish their kids would behave like that or be that polite in public, but sometimes they are the same ones who say you should never hit a child? I dunno, my parents gave me a wrap on the a$$ when I needed it and I think I turned out alright.

I completely agree with Jack on this and foreign policy Children need parents that will set boundries for them, not be there buddies. I get along great with my boys and they are fantastic human beings....but they know where the line is drawn when it comes to the behavior that we will tolerate and what what we expect. I dont beat my kids, but they may get a swat on the butt or the wrist if need be....and it very rarely need be.


But I think the most important aspect of this discussion is that these decisions should be left to the parents...not the state or the city govt. How you decide to raise your child is up to you and mine up to me. The proof is in the pudding, or what kind of adults they turn into in this case.

Oh yeah, I caint spell eether.