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browndog

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Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,468
Location
Toronto, Canada
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?

Clark: Whew, it's warm in here.
Mary: Well you have your coat on.
Clark: Ah yes I do, why is that?
Mary: Because it's cold out.
Clark: Yes it is, it's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out, what did I say, nipple? Huh, there is a nip in the air.

Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No sh*t
 
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Smellybum

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Joined
Dec 11, 2004
Messages
3,419
Location
Evanton, United Kingdom
clark: Oh, i was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, i guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - hotter than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do i? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am i saying, nipple?

Clark: Whew, it's warm in here.
Mary: Well you have your coat on.
Clark: Ah yes i do, why is that?
Mary: Because it's cold out.
Clark: Yes it is, it's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out, what did i say, nipple? Huh, there is a nip in the air.

Clark: 'tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No sh*t

lol!
 

Spudmurphy

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Joined
Aug 23, 2005
Messages
12,037
Location
Cardiff, United Kingdom
how do ya win jacket, depends what size it is.
Does it come in fat basterd size for me?

Pete from strings n things will ask the winner what size they take.

Its difficult to come up with an "ungoogleable" question.
Will prolly take a random number from the posts made to this thread.

If it's me - I'll use the next post up from mine.
 

browndog

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,468
Location
Toronto, Canada
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fricken Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse.
 

Smellybum

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Joined
Dec 11, 2004
Messages
3,419
Location
Evanton, United Kingdom
Man to wife.

man- darling why dont you tell me when you org@zim?

Wife - I dont like to call you at work.

BOOM BOOM!

Manager get call from employee "boss - I'm stressed, I won't be in today"- Manager says to employe "listen son, we all get stressed, best way to deal with it is like me - I go home and have sex with my wife for 2 hours straight

Employee hangs up ....

2 hours later employee walks in all relaxed and walks up to Manager and says " you have a nice house.."

I'm here all week enjoy the fish....
 

Jimmyb

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2005
Messages
2,562
Location
Cheshire, UK
Duck walks into a bar, orders a pint and a cheese and ham sandwich.

The barman says 'Hey, a talking Duck, there's a circus in town, you should try and see if you can get a job.'

The Duck replies:

'What would they need a plasterer for?'





Thank you very much, I'm here all week. Try the seafood!
 

browndog

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,468
Location
Toronto, Canada
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?
 
W

wolf5150

His n her's Diary entry for last sat night

Hers...
He was quiet, subdued, just not himself. Something was wrong. He hasn't kissed me all night, not even looked in my direction. I think it's another woman. I went to bed and cried.
He followed me up later. I cuddled up to him and stroked his hair. He lay still. Eventually we made love and fell asleep in each others arms.

His...
Couldn't get a decent tone tonight, then snapped a bloody string..got a shag though :D :D :D :D
 
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