Songs you cannot stand

[Fred E.]

Gilbert O'Sullivain! That's it! Didn't he look like an effeminate Leo Sayer--who as I remember looked sort of like a skinny Richard Simmons.

As I recall there were a lot of songs on Bob Dylan's "Self-Portrait" (e.g. his cover of "The Boxer") that were amazingly awful. Well, Bob also had some pretty bad compositions of his own, particularly during his 70s eyeliner period when he looked sort of like a jewish Richard Simmons.

Sorry, I get stuck in ruts...back to hunchbacks.

 

[Spectre]

Ok, I've recovered from the last modern Sheela E. picture. No more, pleasssse!

Hunchbacks hmmmmm now there is an idea... Have to create a hunchback story just for Beth. (no hunchback reference to anything prior)

Captain and Tennille - Muskrat Love (oh boy, beastieality ... yeah... barf me)
Anything coming out of American Idol (yes I said thing... run away, run away)

 

[Sub1 Zero]

Gilbert O'Sullivain! That's it! Didn't he look like an effeminate Leo Sayer--who as I remember looked sort of like a skinny Richard Simmons.

A skinny Richard Simmons??? The guy already has a rather feminine build...

 

[grumpyoldman]

Gilbert O'Sullivain! That's it! Didn't he look like an effeminate Leo Sayer--who as I remember looked sort of like a skinny Richard Simmons.

How could anyone who looked like Leo Sayer look anything but effeminate???

 

[Fred E.]

How could anyone who looked like Leo Sayer look anything but effeminate???

Exactly! I was trying to come up with a feminine equivalent to "Leo Sayer on steroids"--& "Leo Sayer on estrogen" didn't quite get me there.

 

[Sub1 Zero]

I would hope it didn't get you there........

 

[Beth]

meow

 

[GuitarHack]

Glenn Frey, "You Belong to the City". Actually, anything by Glenn Frey. The stopped up commode that is his musical canon is horrific.

 

[bovinehost]

"A Horse With No Name'.


Even the THOUGHT of it makes me want to hunt that 'composer' down and stuff a horse, possibly even one without a name, up his bum.

 

[tiffles]

lol ive never heard jack say bum...only a$$ hee hee. anyone writing about a horse makes me want to hurt myself.

 

[GuitarHack]

There's a song no one has ever heard on the Van Halen album they did with Gary Cherone (which no one has ever heard) called "How Many Say I". It's Ed playing piano and singing, just him. It's bad beyond words, every aspect of it. Ed even starts it by tapping inside the piano. He's in there banging on the strings with something. Thinking about that song makes me contort myself the same way I do when I think about getting a vasectomy, or getting a paper cut on my tongue.

 

[GuitarHack]

"Les Boys" on Dire Straits' "Making Movies" record nearly destroys the masterpiece that the rest of that album is.

 

[stingray666]

I can't believe nobody has come up (regurgitated /puked up ) Brown Eyed Girl- I'd rather suck warm diarreah through a dirty sock than play that ever again....

Achy(ack!) Breaky Heart - the (gag!) Macarena- that stupid chicken dance song(splat!)- i think I've been playing too many wedding gigs........

As for Molly Hatchet's singer- Danny Joe Brown can still kick the crap out of any 20 of us at the same time, and don't you forget it....
Avril Lavigne / Celine Dion- one is living proof that talent is no longer required to 'make it' in the music biz, the other is living proof that sheep f*ck buffalo......

And would someone please euthanize those guys from Tears for Fears??? If I hear that fuggin' head Over Heels song ever again, I'm gonna be up on a roof with an M-16 somewhere, going Postal....

 

[Fred E.]

Brown Eyed Girl- I'd rather suck warm diarreah through a dirty sock than play that ever again....

Hmmm...as much as I like to try new things, I think I would just bite the bullet & play the song. But, I'm not Canadian--not sure if that makes a difference.

I'm with you on your other points, though.

 

[stingray666]

Hmmm...as much as I like to try new things, I think I would just bite the bullet & play the song. But, I'm not Canadian--not sure if that makes a difference.

I'm with you on your other points, though.

!!!LMFAO!!!

hey, here's another steamin' three-coiler with the Dairy Queen curl on top-Boot Scootin' Boogie by Brooks and Dunn. Aren't these guys the country version of Hall and Oates(who have some credibility in my book, at least-any band that hires Tom Wolk and Mickey Curry has to be okay)- come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Kix Brooks and John Oates in the same room? And maybe Ronnie Dunn is Daryl Hall with a beard....hmmmmm

And anything by Stevie Nicks- Everything about the woman gives me hives- wonder what she gave to Lindsay /Mick/ John/ Don Henley/ insert your name here/ et al.......

And Mary J Blige- sounds like a transvestitie Donald Duck being run through a bandsaw.........

 

[DaveB]

OK gotta join in on this......

First up COLDPLAY - this is music for people who know nothing about music. That guy should be happier he gets to bone Gwyneth Paltrow every night.

Second STYX - SAILING AWAY - I saw them support Deep Purple recently - whilst everyone else had their lighters in the air I had tears running down my cheeks because all I could think of was Eric Cartman.

Third GUNS N ROSES - NOVEMBER RAIN - what a pompous pile of dog dirt, bad song, baaaad solo - ridiculous video.

Dave

 

[DaveB]

Oh yes I forgot NELLY & KELLY - that "no matter what I do" claptrap.....

 

[Jodizzle]

Well said Dave ..
I probably cannot stand any song where someone calls another "boo"

 

[Beth]

OK gotta join in on this......

First up COLDPLAY - this is music for people who know nothing about music. That guy should be happier he gets to bone Gwyneth Paltrow every night.

Second STYX - SAILING AWAY - I saw them support Deep Purple recently - whilst everyone else had their lighters in the air I had tears running down my cheeks because all I could think of was Eric Cartman.

Third GUNS N ROSES - NOVEMBER RAIN - what a pompous pile of dog dirt, bad song, baaaad solo - ridiculous video.

Dave

Well done, Dave! Hilarious! Thank you for pitching in!

Without bagging on certain EB-affiliated artists, I'd like to point out those songs that people write purely for the shock value:

-"Crazy B*tch"
-That song where the guy says "I like the way you smack my a$$"
-that other song where the guy says something about dirty knees and stained dresses

PUHLEESE

oooo, I'm shocked. That doesn't mean I'm gonna go out and buy your record now.

 

[muggsy]

OK gotta join in on this......

First up COLDPLAY - this is music for people who know nothing about music. That guy should be happier he gets to bone Gwyneth Paltrow every night.

Second STYX - SAILING AWAY - I saw them support Deep Purple recently - whilst everyone else had their lighters in the air I had tears running down my cheeks because all I could think of was Eric Cartman.

Third GUNS N ROSES - NOVEMBER RAIN - what a pompous pile of dog dirt, bad song, baaaad solo - ridiculous video.

Dave

The Styx song is Come Sail Away, and that was my favorite song when I was 14 or so. Styx was also my first concert, so I can't be very objective, though I freely admit they sucked after about 1980. I LOVE the Cartman version.