Big Poppa
Well-known member
it will cost you a dollar
- Thread starter maimz
- Start date
Steve Dude Barr
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2005
- Messages
- 5,173
Big Poppa said:
Yes, and I think it's thoroughly disgusting...makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
bovinehost
Administrator
Hey, I think it looks good on me, frankly.
Hey Ketel Breath,
I made meself a Ketel Dirty Martini last night and it KNOCKED ME OUT. I even made another one in my drunken stupor and there it sat, on the dining room table, until this morning when I dumped it out. My high-tech and very exact recipe/instructions for Beth's Dirty Vodka Martinis:
ice
one (1) bottle Ketel One vodka
one (1) bottle extra dry vermouth
one (1) jar blue cheese-stuffed queen olives
funny little olive spears
cocktail shaker
martini glass (preferably one of those squatty ones because I break the tall, stately glasses all the time)
-Grab 2 handfuls of ice out of freezer. Throw in shaker. Open Ketel One bottle. Sniff a whiff of it and smell its lovely potato glory. Pour vodka into shaker, counting in seconds that correspond to the type of day you've had:
3 seconds = average day
4 seconds = when is this day going to end?
5 seconds = if I didn't have a conscience, I'd be a murderer today
-Pour in "a splash" of vermouth. "A splash" I've always counted the amount of time that it takes me to say "Bovine".
-Open olive jar. Pour most of salty yummy liquid into shaker. Fish out the amount of olives that correspond to the type of day you've had:
1 olive = average day
2 olives = when is this day going to end?
3 olives = if I didn't have a conscience, I'd be a murderer today
-Spear olives with funny olive spear thingys. Put olive in glass.
-Shake shaker. Perform the Beth's Dirty Vodka Martini chant (top secret), turn around three times and pour into squatty martini glass. Down the hatch!
Well Jack, its been a while since I've mixed up a martini (beer tastes better when its over 110 degrees), so I must've made myself a 7-second martini. I was OUT. Asleep by 8:30.
I made meself a Ketel Dirty Martini last night and it KNOCKED ME OUT. I even made another one in my drunken stupor and there it sat, on the dining room table, until this morning when I dumped it out. My high-tech and very exact recipe/instructions for Beth's Dirty Vodka Martinis:
ice
one (1) bottle Ketel One vodka
one (1) bottle extra dry vermouth
one (1) jar blue cheese-stuffed queen olives
funny little olive spears
cocktail shaker
martini glass (preferably one of those squatty ones because I break the tall, stately glasses all the time)
-Grab 2 handfuls of ice out of freezer. Throw in shaker. Open Ketel One bottle. Sniff a whiff of it and smell its lovely potato glory. Pour vodka into shaker, counting in seconds that correspond to the type of day you've had:
3 seconds = average day
4 seconds = when is this day going to end?
5 seconds = if I didn't have a conscience, I'd be a murderer today
-Pour in "a splash" of vermouth. "A splash" I've always counted the amount of time that it takes me to say "Bovine".
-Open olive jar. Pour most of salty yummy liquid into shaker. Fish out the amount of olives that correspond to the type of day you've had:
1 olive = average day
2 olives = when is this day going to end?
3 olives = if I didn't have a conscience, I'd be a murderer today
-Spear olives with funny olive spear thingys. Put olive in glass.
-Shake shaker. Perform the Beth's Dirty Vodka Martini chant (top secret), turn around three times and pour into squatty martini glass. Down the hatch!
Well Jack, its been a while since I've mixed up a martini (beer tastes better when its over 110 degrees), so I must've made myself a 7-second martini. I was OUT. Asleep by 8:30.
phatduckk
Well-known member
Beth said:
you guys (and gal) are all fancy drinkers. LoL
my secret recipe is ... tall glass, fill 1/2 way with vodka, top off to taste with whatever juice is in fridge ... no juice resort to orangina, no orangina -> coke, no coke ... well, you're screwed ... then get to porch, light cigarette and enjoy
LoL
bovinehost
Administrator
Jack: "Honey, I'm in love with a girl on the internet."
Erika: "Mmm, hmm, that's nice, I'm going to the mall."
Betharoonie, I like the way you think, even if I am technically only authorized to suck up to Dudley.
I, too, indulged in a martini (maybe that should be plural) last night, so herewith I offer you my recipe for the Ketel 1 Dead-Clean As A Whistle version:
ice - same brand you use, not as politically correct though because mine comes from Texas
one (1) bottle Ketel One vodka, the big one, like a barrel
one (1) special "mist-er" of Noilly Pratt dry vermouth
zero (0) vegetables stuffed with anything, including dairy products
zero (0) pointy objects because you never know
cocktail shaker
martini glass (I still use the tall ones even though I've lost quite a few over the years, and my last 'favorite' glass was killed by the headstock of a Danelectro bass)
-Fill the shaker up with ice. Don't pretend you're not going to drink the whole shaker because you are.
- Bite top off Ketel 1 bottle, spit in garbage. Make manly "bah" noise here.
-pour vodka until shaker is in danger of spillage. This isn't a bar, every martini costs the same here, buddy.
-zip three little airy clouds of vermouth into shaker. Repeat, "I love a girl on the internet three times" unless someone else is in the kitchen - you don't want them to think you're crazy.
-Shake contents until hand sticks to shaker. Or, if you think about it, wrap shaker in dish towel to avoid freezer burn on palm.
-Pour into stately tall martini glass if not broken by cheap bass headstock.
-Keep shaker handy in studio so multiple trips to kitchen unnecessary.
I got 2.5 martinis out of that one shaker last night but then had to stop because I had to go talk to a responsible adult about a job this morning.
I think I had them fooled!
Next, I shall give you something a bit more complex - the Blue Jack Martini! (Also known as the "Q" Martini, there's a hint!)
Jack
Erika: "Mmm, hmm, that's nice, I'm going to the mall."
Betharoonie, I like the way you think, even if I am technically only authorized to suck up to Dudley.
I, too, indulged in a martini (maybe that should be plural) last night, so herewith I offer you my recipe for the Ketel 1 Dead-Clean As A Whistle version:
ice - same brand you use, not as politically correct though because mine comes from Texas
one (1) bottle Ketel One vodka, the big one, like a barrel
one (1) special "mist-er" of Noilly Pratt dry vermouth
zero (0) vegetables stuffed with anything, including dairy products
zero (0) pointy objects because you never know
cocktail shaker
martini glass (I still use the tall ones even though I've lost quite a few over the years, and my last 'favorite' glass was killed by the headstock of a Danelectro bass)
-Fill the shaker up with ice. Don't pretend you're not going to drink the whole shaker because you are.
- Bite top off Ketel 1 bottle, spit in garbage. Make manly "bah" noise here.
-pour vodka until shaker is in danger of spillage. This isn't a bar, every martini costs the same here, buddy.
-zip three little airy clouds of vermouth into shaker. Repeat, "I love a girl on the internet three times" unless someone else is in the kitchen - you don't want them to think you're crazy.
-Shake contents until hand sticks to shaker. Or, if you think about it, wrap shaker in dish towel to avoid freezer burn on palm.
-Pour into stately tall martini glass if not broken by cheap bass headstock.
-Keep shaker handy in studio so multiple trips to kitchen unnecessary.
I got 2.5 martinis out of that one shaker last night but then had to stop because I had to go talk to a responsible adult about a job this morning.
I think I had them fooled!
Next, I shall give you something a bit more complex - the Blue Jack Martini! (Also known as the "Q" Martini, there's a hint!)
Jack
Steve Dude Barr
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2005
- Messages
- 5,173
BP is a Poopiehead, BP is a Poopiehead, BP is a Poopiehead????
bovinehost
Administrator
More likely is
"BP signs the checks, BP signs the checks..."
"BP signs the checks, BP signs the checks..."
SteveB
Well-known member
bovinehost said:
It's probably some quatrain of mixed-and-matched Elvis Costello lyrics..
bovinehost
Administrator
This is a free-range thread, isn't it?
Aussie Mark
Well-known member
I thought a thread entitled "Sterling - heat tolerance" was going to be a discussion of BP's hairstyle.
kbaim
Well-known member
jongitarz said:I remember when we used to talk about guitars and sh*t
Ahhhh, the good 'ol days.
Now I'm just gunning for post 2000...in case there's a plaque for such an accomplishment.
Maybe even a trophy or a street in SLO named after me.
Last edited:
Dear Bovine and Friends,
Here I am. 3 martinis under and almost peeing my pants after reading all that you guys said. After one of BETH'S DIRTY VODKA MARTINI's, I had to stop and revert to BETH's CHOCOLATE MARTINI's because they're way easier on the stomach....
Bovine, I LOVED the "spit in garbage can and make manly 'bah' noise" - I've been laughing out loud since then. Or maybe its because I'm drunk. Ah, what the hell, there's been many a forum folk who have posted while under the influence (ahem- Bovine? BP? Dude?) so why should I be any different?
.... must go make more chocolate martinis....
ok Im back. Laughing all the way. I love this place. I love all you guys. I guess Im one of those drunk "I LOVE YOU MAN!" people. I also love the fact that BP is my boss, what a great guy, I mean, look at his avatar! How can he NOT be a great guy? OK, and furthermore, why the f--- am I on here ON MY OWN TIME?!?! Its because I love it here! I love you guys, really. Its such a breath of fresh air -- or did I fart? HAHAHAHAHHA whoa, Im drunk...
Here I am. 3 martinis under and almost peeing my pants after reading all that you guys said. After one of BETH'S DIRTY VODKA MARTINI's, I had to stop and revert to BETH's CHOCOLATE MARTINI's because they're way easier on the stomach....
Bovine, I LOVED the "spit in garbage can and make manly 'bah' noise" - I've been laughing out loud since then. Or maybe its because I'm drunk. Ah, what the hell, there's been many a forum folk who have posted while under the influence (ahem- Bovine? BP? Dude?) so why should I be any different?
.... must go make more chocolate martinis....
ok Im back. Laughing all the way. I love this place. I love all you guys. I guess Im one of those drunk "I LOVE YOU MAN!" people. I also love the fact that BP is my boss, what a great guy, I mean, look at his avatar! How can he NOT be a great guy? OK, and furthermore, why the f--- am I on here ON MY OWN TIME?!?! Its because I love it here! I love you guys, really. Its such a breath of fresh air -- or did I fart? HAHAHAHAHHA whoa, Im drunk...
shamus63
Well-known member
You're gonna be a fun hang at the big party!Beth said:
phatduckk said:you guys (and gal) are all fancy drinkers. LoL
my secret recipe is ... tall glass, fill 1/2 way with vodka, top off to taste with whatever juice is in fridge ... no juice resort to orangina, no orangina -> coke, no coke ... well, you're screwed ... then get to porch, light cigarette and enjoy
LoL
whatever works, ya know? I mixed some Bourbon Slushies (Jack Daniel's + ginger ale + some juice I forget) and some other weird mix of alcohol and tried to drink it at my friends non-bachelorette party (a$$hole left her 2 months before her $30K+ wedding) and it just wasn't happening, even for a lush like me...
Big Poppa
Well-known member
random thoughts.......
why am i taking insults from a formerly long haired oz that sweats his nuts off in a bathtub and posts pix of such
Jon...are you an vacation?
the Dude ....Beth is my friend I think that she is chanting....Beaver, Dude, Beaaver,Dude
Here is my martini recipe:
Take the phone off the hook and turn off cell phone.
hold the ketel jug ever so gently....place on counter..... Reach for latest trendy glass that Luke hasn't broken yet...pour two onces of precious desert water.....place six large ice cubes in glass....stop look over shoulder...seal the crack....I mean crack the seal......
have some good hand stufed olives ready...... Open the vermouth.......just wave it over the glass..DO NOT POUR ANY VERMOUTH! FIll shaker with rare summer desert ice....... fill until it becomes unshakable....Shake like a parkinsons victim if you need inspiration think Kathryn Hepburn locked out of the house in her undergarmets on the coldest day of the year......bruise the vokda like if choking a parkiing meter attendent was legal........emply ice water glass... pLop the olives in the glass pour the devine ketel into glass...repeat when necessary.
why am i taking insults from a formerly long haired oz that sweats his nuts off in a bathtub and posts pix of such
Jon...are you an vacation?
the Dude ....Beth is my friend I think that she is chanting....Beaver, Dude, Beaaver,Dude
Here is my martini recipe:
Take the phone off the hook and turn off cell phone.
hold the ketel jug ever so gently....place on counter..... Reach for latest trendy glass that Luke hasn't broken yet...pour two onces of precious desert water.....place six large ice cubes in glass....stop look over shoulder...seal the crack....I mean crack the seal......
have some good hand stufed olives ready...... Open the vermouth.......just wave it over the glass..DO NOT POUR ANY VERMOUTH! FIll shaker with rare summer desert ice....... fill until it becomes unshakable....Shake like a parkinsons victim if you need inspiration think Kathryn Hepburn locked out of the house in her undergarmets on the coldest day of the year......bruise the vokda like if choking a parkiing meter attendent was legal........emply ice water glass... pLop the olives in the glass pour the devine ketel into glass...repeat when necessary.
